Once was enough.
My thoughts are dominated by him during the entire ride, I barely notice when he turns into a parking spot and kills the engine. Sure enough, I didn't even manage to read the road signs on the way, so I have no clue where we are.
I carefully hop off the bike before he does. He takes off his helmet and helps me with mine. He beams when he sees the state of my hair. "You look adorable." His fingers try to fix the mess that my hair has become. Drake being attentive and sweet is too much. When he's done, he holds the side of my jaw and kisses me. The kiss is heavy, loaded with everything that I could ask for, everything that I am scared of, and everything I have hoped for.
Lost, I am so lost in his kisses.
I'm drowning so quickly and I don't know how I can stay afloat and fight this, fight him.
When our lips part, our eyes encounter each other's as we both pant, heavily. "Where are we?" I ask, breathy and a little unstable, but I have to break that electrifying bubble we are in.
Drake grins and kisses my forehead before he responds. "Laguna Beach."
"Okay. We live around the beach. Why did we have to go an hour away to be by the beach, again?" I cock my head sideways while we leisurely stroll with the passing traffic. It is jam packed with people walking around with humming enthusiasm and excitement. Galleries, boutiques and restaurants are littered with artsy people.
"Thursdays are Art Walk. I come here whenever I get the chance, which is not very often. I wanted to show you, and at the same time, spend some time with you." Drake takes hold of my hand, entwines our fingers and acts like it's the most natural thing in the world.
"Art Walk, interesting," I state as I take in the surroundings; it's thriving and lively.
"There's a live band and art galleries are open while people, like me, drink, eat and enjoy the good things in life." Like him? Really …
"Right … because that is just your cup of tea. Right on," I tease.
But, heck, this side of him is surprising. This is definitely not the old Drake I once knew. This is the neo-Drake that I have yet to get to know. I have to admit that I like the new him.
It's endearing to see him relaxed with me. We go to one gallery after the other and another. It is endless. Drake is jovial while we both discuss art and what he loves most about it. We're walking past a handmade jewelry boutique when he tugs my hand, which brings me to stop. "What?"
"Let's go check this place out." He points his head towards the store and leads the way.
It's a tiny store, but it consists of some pretty intricate handmade items. I'm checking out ankle bracelets when I see Drake purchase something. Shrugging, I stroll to the other side of the store and admire a few more delicate necklaces.
"Like anything?" Drake asks from behind me.
Like I would tell him if I liked something? I don't plan for him to pay for the things I want. I can do it myself.
I shake my head. "Nope, nothing catches my eye, yet." I spin around and smile at him. "What did you get? A man bracelet? Something for your mom?"
Drake's forefinger strokes the base of my neck. The light brush simply burns me. "I got something for you. Turn around." I do as he asks, pulling my long dark hair to the side of my shoulder. Drake slowly places a delicate gold star necklace around my neck, making sure to delicately swipe his fingers across the back of my neck. It brings out an involuntary shiver. "There, now. It looks perfect on you."
Melt me more, Drake, because by the end of the night, there will be no resolve left in me. "A star? It's cute and pretty. I didn't know you liked them. Thank you." I give him a lingering kiss.
"I'm not much of a star person, but I thought it'd be something to remember me by." Drake kisses my forehead and takes my hand.
We leave the store in a light mood. I'm surprised when Drake pulls me in a small corner, away from the crowd. "It was stars you stared at when I took you the first time. It's a token for that magical night. I remember everything about it like it was just yesterday. The way you looked, smelled, felt under my touch. I have never forgotten you. You were the ghost that haunted my thoughts and dreams. I'm done thinking and dreaming, I want to live it … with you."
I swallow whatever saliva I have left in the sudden dryness of my throat. "But you didn't want me. You left the next day. You sent me away when I went to visit you. You didn't want me … " I trail off as my memories relive those gut-wrenching moments.
Drake looks away and studies the pavement. "I've always wanted you. I just didn't want to be tied down with such a big, fucking commitment. At that age, all I wanted to do was party and date around. If I pursued you, our parents would've expected us to be engaged and married the minute we got out of college. I wasn't ready for marriage."
Me? A big commitment? If we had just communicated, we could've at least worked something out, but then, I guess he wanted to date other women, too. So, I suppose that won out for him.
I press my lips together and try to smile. It's hard to do so when my heart feels heavy. "Well, I guess you made the right decision. It was for the best." Drake just studies me closely.
The heavy scrutiny makes me uncomfortable.
Pushing off from the side of the building, I drag him towards the crowd. I don't want to talk about the past. Nothing good ever comes out of it. I get it. He didn't want to be with me back then. I don't need to keep rehashing it twice a day. It's taxing and most importantly, I'm sick of it.
I'm done talking about it.
After half an hour listening to the live band playing, we decide to have dinner in one of the restaurants nearby.
After the waiter takes our orders, I go check my messages, as does he. I'm texting Masie, my best friend, when my phone suddenly starts ringing.
Jared.
I glance over at Drake who is busy with emails. "I'll be back," I inform him as I get up and go around to where the bathrooms are located. It's the quietest area I can find.
"Jared?"
"I was just about to hang up. How are you? How was Greece? Have some crazy fun under the sun?" Jared teases as he laughs lightly.
His niceness makes me feel like a heel. "It was great fun. How are you?" I ask, changing the subject and directing the conversation back towards him.
Certainly my life is chaotic at the moment. Glossing over it doesn't feel right, either.
"I'm great! I'm actually excited to see you again. Do you have any idea when you'll let me come over?" Jared's tone just became serious.
I know he is referring more to my answer to his question about taking our relationship to another level, than actually coming over. It's been a year since I've been in a relationship and Jared fits the bill for the kind of guy that I usually go for. I did want to make things work with him before I left for Greece … before Drake and I happened.
I know Drake and I won't last. The past is just too much of a cloud to make things easy for us. Besides, he just broke up with Shannon. Drake isn't the forever after type; he may want me now, but that will wear off. Men like Drake always want variety. So, that leaves me with one option and that is to stop this thing with Drake before I decide things with Jared.
I've been seeing Jared for ten weeks now, on and off with casual dates here and there. I like Jared. "How about tomorrow night? You get to pick."
"That's my girl. I'll pick you up around seven?"
I smile. Yeah, I'm making the right decision. "Seven it is. See you!" I hang up the phone and stride towards our table.
Silently, I sit across Drake. Each movement is being studied and analyzed. I take a lengthy sip of my water.
"Was that Jared?" Drake shoots the question directly.
I bite the inside of my cheek before I nod my head. Why is he so nosy, anyway?
"What did he want?" he presses on.
"We spoke for a bit. This and that." Vague? Yeah, very much so.
Drake glares at me. "This and that? Did you tell him that you're with me now? That you're not an available woman?" he asks through gritted teeth.
That, certainly amps up my temper. "I am nobody's woman. Yet."
His nostrils flare as his jaws lock together. "You better watch it, Lil. I don't want to make a scene to prove a point."
I'm sure.
The waiter brings our food. I've already lost my appetite, so I barely pick at my food. Drake doesn't seem too keen on his, either. Cussing, he pushes his plate aside, gets up and places twice the amount of our bill on the table.
"Outside, Lil. We need to talk. NOW," Drake bites out before he leaves the restaurant, his face is dark with anger.
13
I'm nervous as hell when I walk out of the restaurant and find him close to where he parked his Ducati, leaning against the tree trunk, arms folded against his chest while he watches me walk over to him.