With a short nod, he replied, “I suppose I owe you that.”
I gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts. I had waited too long to know what part he played in Wesley Ellis’s death and now that the time had arrived, I was extremely nervous.
“Sugar, your grandmother took Donny’s death real hard, so hard that she made lifelong friends with the bottle. In the beginning I think she was hoping to find a different ending at the bottom of each one...” With hesitation and a slight shake of his head, he continued, “Then after awhile, I think she was hoping to forget the ending all together. Between her age, the drink and having to care for Karen, she didn’t have it in her to raise you up, too, especially with your injuries.”
“What did you do?”
He shook his head.
“Late one night, I received a call from Joker. He asked me if I could come to Willoughby Manor right away and tell no one where I was going. I did. When I got there, Joker was sitting in the gazebo with Gayle. She was having one of her episodes.”
He walked over to the window and turned his back toward me before continuing.
“I’d never seen Joker like he was that night. I’d never seen him cry. He had his arms wrapped around Gayle and she was sitting there as if she didn’t know whom she was. She had gotten pretty bad by that time. He said he had no one else to call and it took him awhile before he told me what was wrong. He had to stop a few times in between, but by the time he was done, I knew that Gayle had killed Wesley.”
I wiped underneath each eye and swallowed hard.
“Joker loved Gayle more than anything in the world...” Turning his head away, he quietly said, “and she loved him. It about broke my heart to see the pain they were going through.”
“He asked you to take the blame?”
“Joker would never have asked me to do something like that.” Rubbing his palms together, he stated, “It was my idea.”
I asked in amazement, “But why? Twenty years is a long time to sit in prison for a lost love.”
Seemingly baffled by what I said, he asked, “Is that what you think... I went to prison because of the way I felt about Gayle?”
I shrugged as my tears spilled over the edge of my lashes.
“Sugar, I loved Gayle once, a very long time ago. But your grandmother is my world and has been since the day I met her. My feelings for Gayle had nothing to do with it.”
Pleading in my voice, I begged, “Then why? Why did you leave us?”
“This ain’t easy to understand, but I left for you, all of you.”
I lowered my head into my hands and let my tears flow freely. He moved to the seat closest to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“I told you, Sugar, your grandmother didn’t have it in her to raise you up and take care of Karen. Even if she could have managed until you grew up and moved on, Karen’s condition was staring at her for the rest of her life.”
Pushing my shoulders back to meet his gaze, he said, “I confessed to killing Wesley to give Joker whatever good time Gayle had left, and in return, he put your mother in Cherry Hall and paid the bills here while I was away. My little girl has a good home for the rest of her life and your grandmother didn’t have to worry about money anymore. Trying to keep up with Karen’s bills and your hospital bills after the accident had us belly up in a financial grave and that was my way out.
So, I took the gun home with me that night, Joker called the police claiming to have evidence of my guilt, they searched the house and found the gun... the rest is history.”
“That was extreme, there had to be another way.”
“Unfortunately, there wasn’t. I realized twenty years was a long time but if my family would be taken care of, it was worth it to me.” His face softening, he said, “Joker and I had sworn that with the exception of our wives, we would never tell another living soul about our arrangement. I should have known that he’d be the one to tell.”
“He wasn’t.”
He seemed puzzled.
“I asked him if you killed his son and he told me that if he had to answer, he’d tell me you did kill Wesley, but he said he wouldn’t give me an answer.” Reaching into my purse, I said, “He gave this to me and said that all the answers I needed were in here. It’s Gayle’s journal.”
He looked at it and then quickly looked away.
“Gramp, it’s okay.” Forcing him to look at me, I said, “She did love you.”
“No, she always loved Joker, I just keep telling myself otherwise.”
“Gramp, most of the journal is about you and Joker. She didn’t see Joker the way most people seem to see him. In one entry, she wrote that Joker was every breath she took. She wrote about you, too. She said you would always hold a special place in her heart. It seems that even in her deteriorating state, she never forgot how much you both meant to her.”