He looked away and rubbed his hand over his chin. He had been silent for several minutes when a look of comprehension crossed his face.
“Seriously injured? Would that be the not-so-little scar you mentioned? Did my father do that to you?”
My eyes filled rapidly. Before I could answer his question, Sally took hold of his hand.
“Connor, you listen to me. Your heart only has so much room in it. The more of it you fill with hatred for your father, the less you’ll have left to give to someone you love.”
He ran a hand through his hair and said, “Mom, I know how you feel about him, even to this day. I won’t pretend to understand it, but you have to understand, I never saw that side of him. All he ever brought to my life was pain.”
Her eyes filled with sympathy as she tried to be consoling while avoiding talk of her late husband. “You know, I have a good feeling about you two.”
Con rolled his eyes.
“Seriously Con. I’ve worked with the public all of my life and after awhile, you learn a lot about human nature. I pick up on signs and signals even when I don’t realize at the time that it means anything and I have a good feeling about you and Meg.”
Unable to conceal his smile, he said, “I have that feeling, too.”
“Follow your instincts, they’re usually right.” Glancing at two waiters who seemed to be having a problem with a customer, she stood and added, “If knowing the truth is that important, my advice to the both of you is, go to your respective grandparent’s and force them to tell you what it is you need to know. Don’t stop asking questions until you get the answers you’re looking for.”
She leaned down, gave each of us a hug and wished us luck before returning to her business.
“You know, she’s right.”
He said, “She usually is,” offering a vague smile. “I was actually teasing you about going back to my grandfather’s but if that’s what you want, I’ll take you when I get back tonight.”
Glancing at my watch, I stated, “I’ve kept you too long. You’re going to be late.”
“I’ll be fine, but I do have to go.” He turned his chair to face me, took my hands in his, and spoke softly, “I love you, Meg. I am completely and ecstatically in love with you.”
I had never wanted to hear those words from anyone as much as I wanted to hear them from him, but the surprise of his announcement left me speechless.
He continued, “I don’t want you to say it back... not yet anyway. If and when you say it, I want it to be because you truly mean it, not because you feel you have to return the gesture.” His loving gaze looked deeply into my eyes. “I just wanted you to know that.”
He kissed each of my hands, stood and walked away leaving me feeling happy, loved—and alone.
~ ~ ~
Once at work, the minutes ticked away slowly. I was preoccupied with my thoughts and Nelda and Marco seemed caught up in their own happiness and didn’t notice my silence.
I tried to decide which grandfather we should demand answers from first. Joker was as nasty as a dirty diaper but at least he talked, even if it wasn’t directly to me most of the time. Gramp, on the other hand, had a much better disposition, although he refused to acknowledge Con’s presence, let alone talk to him. Gram hadn’t been much help but I got the feeling that she knew more than she was letting on and for whatever reason, chose to keep it to herself.
I had let thoughts of our families consume me to the point of letting important things became trivial. I never found an opportunity to tell Gram about my visit to Cherry Hall and it upset me that I placed more importance on their feud than on my mother’s progress.
“I’m going to head out now if you guys will be alright.”
Marco said, “We be fine,” and Nelda added, “You go now.”
I simply nodded and wished them a good night as I picked up my purse and closed the door behind me.
I had put almost an entire block between my little kitchen and myself before I realized I had no destination in mind. Purely out of habit, I had reverted to my usual methods of stress-relief. I had to find a way to sweep the clutter from my head in order to make room for productive thoughts. I was so tired of being pulled in opposing directions; truth—lies, good—bad, right—wrong...
My abrupt stop was so sudden; I almost tripped over my own feet. That was it! Love—hate. I had accidentally found the remedy I was looking for. The truth would conquer the lies and our love would conquer their hate.
My step quickened and my legs felt lighter as I walked around the city, giving more thought to my plan. Con wouldn’t return until later this evening and I was anxious to begin the healing process right away. The only decision left to make was which grandfather to visit first. Logic told me that although more miserable, Joker would be my best bet. His ranting would hurt less than Gramp’s silence but my gut told me that it would hurt Gramp to think I turned to the man he hated most in the world, before coming to him. I was too old for eeny meeny and there was no one to make the decision for me so, putting Gramp’s advise to good use, I went with my gut feeling.