Lilly smiled as she watched Gavriel moving and yawned. "I think that Ax is going to be very upset with you. I know that I don't have the energy to clean right now, and I'm sure that we made more of a mess than we had anticipated, didn't we?" And she wasn't in the least ashamed of it, either!
"Damned fucking straight we did," he snickered. "And I'm not cleaning either. It'll give him something to freak out over before he can come and kick my ass. I say it's entirely worth it, really. Now, get your gorgeous ass up off that table and sit down like a lady. Food is ready and we need to eat."
She laughed and wiggled a little. "Aw, come on. You know that you want to sit on the table with me, or lay on it with me with the food between us and feed each other. I'm so totally down for that. Can't you just see Ax's head exploding already?"
"Oh." His eyes went wide and he clapped his hands. "Hot damn, woman, you are evil and I'm loving this plan." Chuckling, he grabbed two forks and then the hot dish. Setting them both at the end furthest from her naked skin, he went back for two bottles of water. Then he rejoined her and stood staring down at her. "You want to roll over into place and then I'll join you? Hopefully it doesn't collapse, because I doubt Ax would let us get away with destruction of property."
"It's made of real wood and not that fake crap. This piece would likely be able to hold up the house if it had to." Lilly shifted and moved on the surface and watched Gav getting in place as well. "See, I can have good ideas every now and again."
He settled down and stayed still for a time, wiggling a little, and then he let out a slow breath. "I'm just glad that it hasn't collapsed yet. Still a little worried. I'm a bit heavier than you, darling." He shot her a look and made a face. "Okay, I'm a lot heavier than you are. I don't mind screwing with Ax on a lot of things, but I'd actually feel bad if I was the cause of his table being crushed and mangled."
"You won't, and if you did, I would take the blame and then I would buy him a new one. However, I have faith in this table." It was a table that looked as if it had weathered far more than a couple of horny beings on it, eating their meal. "Now stop wiggling and start eating."
"Yes ma'am." He grinned. Passing her a water and a fork, he tugged the dish closer. "Be careful of this thing, it tends to stay hot a long damned time, and if you get any burns I'm going to have to explain those away. Which will then lead to just where we were eating, and yeah, so no burning yourself."
"Got it. Don't worry, you just keep it off of you as well." She mumbled and began to eat. She sighed as the first taste hit her tongue and grinned. "Goodness, this is good. Living with you boys, I'm so going to gain, like, a hundred pounds or something."
"Hardly, we'll ensure you work it all back off." Smiling at her, he scooped up a mouthful and chewed happily. Licking his lips, he let out a happy sigh. "For a guy who doesn't eat shit-all, that Vhampire can cook like nobody else."
"He eats when he's with me." Lilly frowned as she said that. "Does he only do it so that I don't feel weird about eating when he's not? Please tell me that he's not making himself sick because of wanting to make sure I'm happy."
He was frozen with a fork partway to his mouth and looked like a deer in the headlights. "Uh, okay, I won't tell you that." He smiled. Then shoved the food into his mouth to chew and scooped more in, a clear sign he wasn't planning on giving her any more information on the topic.
That had her frowning heavily. Right, note to self, kick Ax when he got home. "What else is he not telling me?" She was no longer hungry, she was simmering right at pissed off and hurt at the moment. Pissed off because he was holding back, and hurting for the same reason. Right along with shame, for not seeing it herself.
"He doesn't keep secrets," Gavriel said. "Except the years before he was hired to keep me out of trouble. That he won't tell anyone about, and plays dumb about if another Vhampire meets up with him from that time. If he's eating with you at every meal, then he's only eating a little bit at each sitting. He would just have to figure out whatever the three meals would normally entail and then scale back a meal to account for the extra intake. He would never hurt himself, but he's also not going to hurt you or your feelings."
"Well that's going to change. I mean it. I know he wouldn't hurt himself, but now I feel like such a turd for asking him to always eat with me. I should just wait and if he wants to, or needs to eat, then let him eat." She was grumbling now, she couldn't help it. She knew that Ax would never willingly harm himself, but she was frustrated that he hadn't talked to her about it.
"He did tell you that he only eats three times a week, otherwise he can become sick," he pointed out softly. Bumping his shoulder to hers lightly, Gavriel pressed a kiss to her shoulder before drawing back. "He only adjusted his schedule to keep you happy, love. And he's not doing any harm if he's eating only small amounts."
"I still don't like it," she whispered. "That he did that only for me. I don't understand it." Mostly because she never had anyone really go out of their way to do something so significant for her. "God, I love that man," she said with a soft sigh. "When should he be home, anyway?"
Rolling his eyes, he looked to the wall. "He should be here in about three hours, give or take. And he did it because he loves you and cares about you, Lilly. He wants to make you happy and it was something he could do to make you feel more a part of our lives. So don't give him any grief about it, will you please?"
"I know that, but it doesn't make me feel any less of an ass because I didn't listen to him." And that was the crux of the issue. She was having issues because of her own stupidity and nothing that Ax did. It was all on her head.
"Hey, don't put yourself down like that. I won't let you get away with it and neither will Artaxias. Give yourself a break, too, Lil. You've been going through a hell of a lot of late and really, the fact you can still smile and get out of bed is a fucking miracle. You screwed up, deal with it and move on. He's figured out a fix and it's working for everyone. Let it go."
She sighed and shook her head. "Yeah I did. I screwed up. He's always fixing things, isn't he?" she asked sadly. "He's fixing things so that he can eat with me, and when you were growing up, he fixed things for you then, too, right? I wish for once I could do something for him."
"How can you say you're not doing something for him? Lilly, until you came into our lives, he never smiled, he never relaxed and hell, I don't think he ever goofed off once. You are helping him to become something more than just a bodyguard or an assassin or whatever his other jobs may have been. You are helping him to actually live, that is better than I could have ever done," he said softly.
That fast, she began to cry. She hadn't thought of those things, they just seemed so natural to Artaxias that she hadn't thought that she was the one who was helping bring that out in him. "Well hell. Now I'm crying," she muttered and sniffed. "I think that I'm all done eating. How about we go up and sleep?" she asked hopefully. Dammit, she just wanted to be held now, her emotions all over the place because she didn't have both men with her.
Nodding, he caught her chin and kissed her gently. "Here, soak up some of those tears," he suggested, passing her a napkin. Rolling off the table, he cleaned up before coming back to scoop her into his arms as she continued to blubber.
"I don't know what's wrong with me." She felt as if she were a failure for her guys, and her heart was breaking because of it. She didn't like this feeling, at all. "I will feel better after a shower and nap, I'm sure." She was just an emotional rollercoaster and it was something she didn't like, at all, let alone poor Gavriel.
He made a noncommittal sound in his throat as he climbed the stairs. But he took her straight to the bathroom once they'd reached their bedroom and even set her on her feet inside the shower stall. Catching her chin in a gentle hand, he bent to look her in the eye. "You do know you can talk to us about anything, right? Doesn't matter if we huff and puff, we will always listen and always be there for you, Lilly. Right?"
"I know. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm an absolute emotional mess. I'm totally blaming it on what's happening down at the station, because that's the only thing that's really changed in my life. Someone trying to control me with whatever it is that they are using." She moved and wrapped her arms around his middle and sighed, the heat of him chasing fears and insecurities away. "I do love you, Gavriel. Thank you for being here for me and with me."