It occurred to him that the pulse might be a better indicator of life or death but instantly realised that both of the man’s wrists were hidden beneath the silver duct tape which secured them to the arms of the chair. He had an idea you could also check someone’s pulse in their neck, so he placed the tips of his fingers gently against the side of his throat.
‘Anything?’ said Lenny.
He shook his head and moved his fingertips an inch to the right.
‘Maybe you should try the other side.’
‘Don’t be a prat,’ said Carrot, but since he was hardly an expert in such matters himself he did as Lenny suggested.
‘I still reckon we need to take a look at his eyes,’ Lenny said when it became clear there were no apparent signs of life from either side of the neck. ‘It’s what they do in all those hospital shows on the telly. They pull back the eyelids and have a good look inside with some kind of torch or something.’ By way of demonstration, he used his forefinger and thumb to roll back the lids of one of his own eyes and, for added authenticity, ranged the protruding eyeball in a random variety of directions.
Carrot straightened up and was about to remind him of the inherent dangers of removing the guy’s blindfold when he was struck by what he considered to be an ingenious solution. ‘Hang on a minute. I’ve got an idea,’ he said and scuttled over to his holdall.
He took out two pairs of underpants, one black and one bright red, and held them aloft, a pair in each hand, with a triumphant ‘Ta-daa.’
Lenny looked from one pair of briefs to the other and then back at Carrot. ‘And your point is?’
‘Disguises. We can use them as masks.’
There was a lengthy pause before Lenny replied. ‘You out of your fucking mind?’
‘They’re perfectly clean,’ said Carrot and held out the black pair. ‘Here.’
‘They might not be. Even boil washing doesn’t always get rid of all the… skidmarks.’ He uttered the last word with obvious distaste and added, ‘You wouldn’t be able to see ‘em on the black ones, but they might still be there all the same.’
‘Oh for God’s sake. Have the red ones then.’ He threw the red pair at Lenny, who dodged to the side, and the briefs came to rest on the lap of the man in the chair.
‘I’m telling you, I’m not wearing either of ‘em. All seems a bit pervy if you ask me.’
‘Well wear a pair of your own then.’
‘I haven’t got any clean ones left.’
Carrot’s hand flew to the crown of his toupee yet again, and he kept it there while he considered the matter. ‘Okay then,’ he said. ‘I’ll wear the bloody underpants and you stay behind him. But whatever you do, don’t let him see you.’
Lenny seemed satisfied with the change of plan and positioned himself behind the chair as instructed. Carrot quickly checked that the black briefs were really as clean as he’d claimed and then removed his toupee and dropped it on top of his holdall. Pulling the waistband of the underpants down over his head, he realised that the leg holes were too far to the sides of his face and he couldn’t see a thing. Not to be thwarted, however, he grasped the crotch piece and squeezed the material together into a narrow band. This had the effect of pulling the leg holes inwards towards his nose so that the openings coincided exactly with his eyes.
‘What do you think?’ he said, his voice slightly muffled by the cotton waistband, which completely obscured his mouth.
Lenny gave him a thumbs up and winked. ‘Very nice.’
‘I mean, does it work? Would you recognise me if you saw me again?’
‘Only if you were wearing a pair of black underpants on your head.’
Carrot stooped over the man in the chair, and with rather more care than he had taken with the gag, he began to unpeel the silver tape blindfold. As soon as the first eye was revealed, he hesitated and sucked in a gasp of air. It was staring straight back at him, the lids stretched wide and the eyeball boggled in much the same way as Lenny’s had done during his demonstration of a few minutes earlier. Unlike Lenny’s, however, this particular eye showed not even the slightest flicker of movement. The pupil was unnaturally dilated, and the whiteness around it was tinged with a dirty grey.
The remainder of the tape came away with one swift tug as Carrot was impatient to see if the second eye betrayed any more indication of life than the first. It didn’t. The protruding bulbousness of the eyeball, the dilation of the pupil, the greyish staining, the fixed rigidity of the stare – all were exactly the same. Carrot shifted his focus to include both of the eyes, and the combined effect made him feel even more acutely that the unflinching stare was directed specifically at him and was exuding a look of malevolent accusation. He waved the palm of his hand to and fro in front of the man’s face a few times. Nothing.