Life After Taylah(81)
Nate stops in front of me and I look over to him, my breath hitching in my throat at the empty, emotionless expression on his face.
“Avery.”
That’s it? After weeks away, after finding me nearly dead, after missing my mother’s funeral, that’s all he has to say. I straighten and look back down to Macy. “I have to go, honey, but it was good to see you.”
I turn and walk off, my body prickling, my nerves shot. I have nothing to say to him, nothing at all.
“Avery.”
Don’t follow me, Nate. Please.
I keep walking forward.
“Avery!” he barks taking my arm and spinning me around.
I shove at his chest right away, causing him to take a few steps back.
“Macy,” he grinds out. “Go and get some apples for me.”
“Okay Daddy,” she cries, rushing over to the apples.
“What the fuck was that for?” he says the moment she’s gone.
“What do you mean what the fuck was that for?” I cry. “Why are you even talking to me, Nate? Tell me why you’re bothering? You’ve made it very clear how you feel, so why stop? Why not just walk past and pretend I don’t exist. You’re good at that.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?” he growls. “Is that how you think I feel? Look at me, Avery. Fucking open your eyes and look. I’m a fucking mess. Don’t you dare tell me how I feel.”
“Where were you?” I rasp. “Where were you when I buried my mother?”
He flinches and his eyes widen slightly. “What?”
“You might have chosen to drop me, Nate, but you were my friend. Someone I trusted and confided in. So where were you when I buried her? You couldn’t come to pay your respects? Couldn’t show me a little compassion?”
He looks confused. How dare he look confused?
“I didn’t,” he begins.
“Don’t bother,” I say, turning away.
“I didn’t know, Avery. I didn’t know when the funeral was.”
I stop and turn back, and I can see in his eyes that he’s telling the truth. He looks so upset, his face grief stricken.
“Kelly sent you a message.”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t get a message.”
Lena. We’re both thinking it, though neither of us will say it.
“Look, it doesn’t matter anyway, does it?” My voice has grown softer. “This thing, this connection between us . . . it’s broken now. I am going away for a while, Nate, and I truly can’t tell you if I’ll be back. I can’t live . . . like this. Running into you all the time. It hurts too much. Your wife doesn’t want it and neither do I.”
“How would you know my wife doesn’t want it?” he says, narrowing his eyes.
Shit.
“I, uh . . .”
Shit, shit, shit.
“Avery,” he grinds out. “How would you know my wife doesn’t want it?”
“I have to go.”
“Like fuck,” he growls, reaching out and taking my arm.
“Here Daddy,” Macy says, bouncing back with an overfull bag of apples. Nate drops my arm and I turn, quickly rushing off before he can say another word.
I just made a huge mistake saying that. But one thing is for certain: maybe Lena was right. Maybe it is time I move on.
~*~*~*~
“I think I need the break,” I say to Maggie as I throw clothes into my suitcase.
“You’re probably right,” she whispers, putting a hand on my shoulder. “But it won’t be the same without you.”
“I won’t be gone for long, just a few months. I’ll travel, take some time away, find myself again.”
“You’ll be missed.”
I smile and pull her into my arms. “I’ll be back. I swear it.”
~*~*~*~
AVERY
Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. Kelly held onto me like he’d never see me again.
Liam hugged me tightly, begging me to return soon. Max cupped my face and wished me luck.
Then I left. I know what you’re thinking; I left because of Lena. You’d be right; part of it was because of Lena, but part of it was for me. Nate deserves this time to fix his family. It’s not fair of me to put myself in his way, and it’s also not fair of me to let him suffer with the loss of his child if I don’t do what Lena wants. And I know she’ll take Macy, because that’s the kind of woman she is.
The part I’m doing for me is taking the time to heal. I need to get away, clear my head, think about my life and then come back and start over. I need time to forget Nate. I know the months won’t change the aching in my chest, but I also know I have to do this. I’ll never forget the love I feel for Nate, but I will find a way to put it somewhere so it doesn’t affect me for the rest of my life.