I step around behind another large truck when I hear an almighty crack. I jump backwards and stare towards the sound only to see Nate. Oh, God. He’s got his fist raised and he’s pounding it into the side of a giant, red truck. He’s covered in dirt and there’s blood trickling from a gash on his knuckles. I want to turn and run away, but I’m frozen to the dirt. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen him, and being this close to him again has everything in me sparking to life.
As if he can feel me, he turns and looks my way. I gasp as I see his face. He looks tired and worn, his eyes dark and tired, his cheeks high because his eyes are sunken. His expression turns to one of pure shock for a second as he turns his body towards mine.
“Avery?” he croaks.
“I . . .” I begin. “I’m so sorry. I was trying to . . . I wanted to get out and I was lost. I didn’t mean for you to see me and . . . I . . .”
He walks towards me, his body big and powerful, his expression determined. When he reaches me, his hand lashes out and curls around my neck as his eyes scan my face.
“Tryin’ to forget you,” he rasps. “Tryin’ to make myself stop feeling. Can’t . . . Fuckin’ can’t.”
“I . . .” I whisper, staring up at him. “You scared me out there.”
“Fucked up my race,” he growls. “Fucked it up because my head is gone. I can’t think. Can’t fuckin’ feel. All I want is you—fuck, all I need is you.”
“Nate . . .”
“Just for a second,” he says, his voice low and pained. “I want to stop feeling this pain. Is it so much to fuckin’ ask for one second?”
Tears leak from my eyes as I stare up into his. I want him so desperately, but I know I can’t. I have to go. I have to leave.
“Nathaniel?”
The sound of a male voice causes him to stiffen and turn. There’s an older man standing at the end of the trucks. He doesn’t even notice me as he steps forward. “What the fuck was that out there?”
“Nothin’,” Nate growls.
I take a step back and Nate’s hand drops from my neck. I have to leave. I have to go.
“That’s the second race you’ve fucked up,” the man barks. “It’s not good enough.”
“You think I don’t fuckin’ know that?” Nate roars.
“Then try harder.”
Another step. Then another.
“Get your shit together, Nate,” he snarls. “Or you’ll have no fuckin’ career.”
He turns and walks off, and Nate spins around, driving his fist into the side of the truck again. I want to run, but seeing him pounding the hard metal, causing more blood to appear on his knuckles, has everything in me aching. I can’t leave him like this. I rush forward when his fist rears back, and I curl my fingers around his arm. He flinches and looks down at me, his eyes wild, his body heaving with each ragged breath he takes.
“Stop. You’re scaring me,” I whisper.
“Scaring you?” he barks, spinning around and lifting my tiny body off the ground before slamming me against the truck. “Scaring you? I wish to fucking God I scared you, Avery. Because then maybe you wouldn’t look at me with that kind of fuckin’ love in your eyes. The kind of love I can’t get out of my head.”
My lower lip trembles as I look up at him, terrified, broken, and desperate.
“L-l-let me go, Nate,” I say, my voice small and trembling.
“So you can run? So you can pretend seeing me hasn’t fucked you as much as it has me?”
“Just let me go,” I cry, squirming. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to . . .”
“Liar,” he roars. “Don’t you lie to me, Avery. You want this as much as I do; you always did. Admit it. Admit it fuckin’ burns.”
“It does burn,” I scream, squirming harder. “I can’t survive without you, but you gave me no choice. You fucking promised me, and you gave me no choice. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to breathe without you. I just want you, because I fucking love you. I know how much it burns.”
Suddenly, his lips are on mine. I don’t even see it coming. His tongue is brutal as he parts my mouth, and I can’t even begin to fight him away. I don’t want to. I need him, every large, muscled, perfect inch of him. His fingers tangle in my hair and he jerks my head back, deepening the kiss. It’s so hard, so raw, so desperate that I taste blood in my mouth. God. Yes.
Everything moves so fast, so fast I don’t have time to stop and think about it. His hands are on my backside, pressing me against the side of the truck, and then he’s yanking my dress up. He tears my panties clean off, tossing them on the ground before reaching down between us and jerking his jeans down. Then he’s inside me, deep and hard with no warning.