I walk over to the door and run my hand through my hair trying to straighten it out a little, before swinging it open.
I face Nate.
I blink a few times, confused. Nate is meant to be away; he isn’t meant to be here. Why is he here? I stare at him, unable to form any kind of words to say something comprehensible. He stares at me, his eyes deep and intense. He looks so good, and it seems like it’s been so long, because he’s like a blinding light to my eyes. Black skin-tight shirt, black jeans and Doc Martens – perfect. His hair is messy and he’s got a few days’ growth on his cheeks and chin.
The ultimate bad boy.
“Nate,” I whisper. “I thought you were away.”
He’s staring at me with that look that makes me feel like he wants to consume me, to take everything I am and crush it in his strong, perfect hands.
“Is he here?” he asks, his voice husky and low.
“W-w-w-what?”
“Is he here?”
He’s talking about Jacob, isn’t he?
“Jacob?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I swallow. “No.”
He steps forward and reaches out, catching me off-guard. His hands slide around my hips and he pulls me into him, pressing my body against his. He’s warm and hard, and he smells like coffee and cigarettes. He lowers his mouth, capturing my lips in his and kissing me so hard I forget how to breathe, how to think, how to feel. I’ve lost everything but him.
When he pulls back, I’m swaying on my feet. He reaches out and runs the back of his hand down the side of my face so gently it seems out of character for him. Then he leans forward, his breath tickling my ear as he turns his mouth towards my ear and murmurs, “I missed you too.”
Then he steps back and turns, walking off and getting into his truck.
And just like that—everything changes.
CHAPTER 17
AVERY
“Waiter,” Jacob yells. “Another bottle.”
I stare over at the man I’m been expected to spend the rest of my life with, and now, more than ever, there’s a gaping hole in my heart at the thought. There is no happiness in a life without love. I’m learning that more and more as each day goes by.
“Avery,” Jacob snaps and I jerk my gaze in his direction.
“Yes?”
“You’re a thousand miles away. I take you out for a nice dinner and you can’t even have a decent conversation with me.”
“Do you love me, Jacob?”
He stares at me, his lips twitching, obviously taken back by my question. “What has that got to do with anything?”
I flinch. “Do you love me, Jacob?”
“We’ve not had the chance to get that far yet.”
“So, basically the only reason you’re with me is so you can take over my share of the business?”
He pins me with a scathing glare. “Don’t pretend you’re in this, Avery. Because we both know there’s no real connection between us.”
“Then why do we do it? Why are we wasting what is such a short life together?”
“If you’re thinking of leaving,” he snarls, “don’t. You’ve got no life outside of me, Avery. Your father holds everything you are in his hands and if you walk from me, he’ll crush it.”
It hurts me that I’m in this over a threat. It hurts me that my father would do such a thing. But what hurts the most is the reality that I’ll never be loved. I’ll never feel that soul-crushing, heart-stopping emotion that will change my life. Instead, I’ll fall for a man I can never have and marry one I don’t want.
That’s not a life.
“What is our life to be like in ten years?” I whisper, my voice too shaky to show itself.
“The same as it is now.”
That wasn’t the right answer.
He could have said better, or even we’ll try. But the same . . . the same? That crushes any hope I have left in my heart. I stare down at my hands and hear the waiter come to our table. He places another bottle of the best wine into the ice bucket beside the table, then he places our meals down. I can’t eat that—that fancy meal that I don’t even like. I can’t do anything of this. It’s not fair. I don’t want to live forever with a man who can barely look at me with affection, let alone give it.
I get to my feet, shoving my chair back.
“Where are you going?” Jacob asks, staring up at me. His expression is bored, as though our conversation didn’t even spark any kind of feeling from him.
“I’m going home.”
“Why?”
“Why?” I laugh bitterly. “Are you joking?”
He stares at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “Ah, no?”
“Jesus, Jacob. Doesn’t it bother you that you’re going to marry a woman you don’t even love? That you’ll spend your life without ever feeling love?”