“Exactly.”
We look at each other and both sing, “B-B-B-Benny and the Jets.”
We fall back in laughter, Benny on my belly, still licking my face.
“Thank you, Momma. He’s perfect.”
“Just like you, angel.”
“Hey.”
I snap out of my thoughts and see Nate standing at the chair beside me. He’s wearing running clothes and he’s got sweat trickling down his face. He’s panting and in one hand he’s clutching a water bottle. I get to my feet quickly, horrified that he’s seen me crying. Especially since he’s been avoiding me for two weeks now. I turn and rush off, mumbling, “It’s fine, I’m fine.”
“Jesus, Avery, stop.”
He comes after me.
“Let me help you. You’re clearly upset.”
I spin around. “Oh, now you want to help me? After you’ve refused to speak to me for weeks? What did I do to you, Nate? Nothing. Don’t bother. Just leave me alone.”
I turn and begin rushing off again.
“Shit,” I hear him mutter. “Avery wait.”
I don’t stop. I jump over the railings beside the road and rush across it, heading to my apartment. I hear Nate behind me but I don’t stop to give him a chance to speak. He hurt me. I thought we were friends and then, without explanation, he decided we weren’t. I get to my apartment and shove the door open, slamming it. My dog, Caffy, comes running over to me, her tail wagging. She’s a small Chow cross something, I don’t know what, and has an attitude worse than a fifteen-year-old girl.
“Avery!” Nate yells, pounding on my door. “Come on, I’m sorry.”
I storm over, swing the door open, and bark, “Eleven years ago my mother went missing. I don’t need or want your shit today, Nate. If you’ve decided we’re not friends then so be it, but I don’t want you here so please leave.”
I go to slam the door in his face but he shoves a hand out and stops me. His eyes are intense as he stares me down.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Are you fucking serious?” I scream. “You’ve not spoken to me, and when you have it’s been two letters or less. I didn’t even know ‘K’ was considered a response until you threw it at me three days ago.”
He runs his hand through his hair and looks at me with those devastating green eyes.
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Shit, Avery. Just let me in.”
“I said,” I growl leaning up close to him, “no.”
He shoves the door wider and steps in. “It wasn’t an option.”
“You can’t just come into my house, Nathaniel.”
Caffy sees Nate and starts leaping up and down, barking furiously at him. He stares at her, raises his brows and then looks back to me.
“I’ve had things going on and I needed to deal with them. I wasn’t trying to avoid you, Avery.”
“You’re such a liar,” I say, slamming the door behind him.
“It’s the truth. Things between Lena and I haven’t been . . . great. I’m trying to fix them and it’s not been easy. My head is in the clouds half the time and mixed with racing I just can’t seem to pull it out. I’m sorry, okay?”
Hearing him say he’s struggling has all my defenses dropping to the ground. Dammit, I’m too soft.
“I’m sorry about you and Lena,” I whisper, slumping.
“I’m sorry about your mom.”
I give him a weak smile. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, Nate. It’s always a touchy day for me.”
He shakes his head. “No worries, I understand.”
I force a smile.
“Well,” I manage when we’ve been standing in silence for a long moment, “this is awkward.”
He stares at me, and then suddenly bursts out laughing. I can’t help it; I do too. He steps forward and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his hard chest. I press my cheek to it, smelling the combined scent of him and sweat—which, believe me, isn’t a bad scent. He runs his hand down my hair and I realize, after a second, that this feels far too comfortable.
“Uh,” I say, pulling back, “do you want a drink?”
He’s got the eyes again. The lusty, soulful eyes that make my heart stop beating.
“No,” he murmurs, staring at my lips.
Holy shit. I feel his stare right down to my toes. I turn, forcing myself to look away, forcing myself to shove my feelings inside a deep, black hole where they can never come out again. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married.
“Avery!”
I hear Jacob’s voice and I turn just as he swings my front door open and steps inside with my father behind him. I’m shocked. I haven’t seen much of my father in my home; it’s a very rare when occasion he visits. My father’s eyes turn to Nate and harden. So do Jacob’s.