She blinks a few times, lets go of my shirt and swipes her eyes, and then croaks out, “I keep fucking up, Nathaniel. I don’t know why. I want to be a better mom, I love her . . . I do.”
I sigh. “I know. Maybe it’s my fault. Maybe we need to get away for a while? A holiday?”
Her eyes light up. “We could go to Paris! Remember when we first started dating and we went there?”
Those were better days, when she was everything. I try to imagine her there again, holding her hand, dancing with her in the streets—but I can’t. It’s not her I see, and that scares the fucking hell out of me. I wish for someone else—anyone else. I smile at her though, because even through the sadness I still made a commitment to at least try. Broken things can be fixed—I can’t give up for the sake of my little girl. I know what it was like growing up with parents who divorced and it’s not okay to do the same. We brought Macy into this world and it’s up to us to give her the best we can.
“Maybe,” I force a smile. “Or maybe we can go somewhere different.”
She leans up on her toes and kisses me.
“I’ll try harder, Nate. You’ll see.”
God, I hope she’s right.
~*~*~*~
AVERY
“Why was he dropping you home?”
I squeal and spin around when I hear the voice coming from the darkness. I’m just about to unlock my front door when he speaks. I put a hand over my heart and take a few steady breaths. It’s just Liam. He’s been sitting here the whole time? I’ve watered my flowers and stood by the fence for at least half an hour, just thinking about tonight. All that time he didn’t care to make it known he was there? Why? Was he waiting to see if Nate would come back?
“Why have you been sitting here this whole time, Liam? Are you crazy?”
“I wanted to see what you were doing.”
“I was watering my flowers!” I cry, throwing my hands up. “There was no need for you to turn stalkerish and watch me.”
“Why did he drop you home?” he asks again.
I unlock the front door, angry. I shove it open and step inside, flicking on the lights. Liam follows me. When I turn to him, I cringe. He looks awful. His face is drained of any decent color and his eyes look a little sunken. He’s wearing a shirt with a hole in it, and jeans that have seen better days.
“You look like shit, Li.”
He ignores me. “Why did he drop you home?”
“For shit’s sake,” I snap. “Since when did you become my father?”
He gives me a hard stare but doesn’t answer me.
I sigh and mutter, “I saw him when I was walking home from Dad’s. I joined him and his daughter for some ice cream and we walked home.”
“He’s married,” he says, matter-of-factly.
“I know that. What do you think we were doing?”
He narrows his eyes at me. “You were at Dad’s?”
Talk about rapid subject change.
I put my hands on my hips. “Yes, Jacob wanted to go there. It lasted all of five minutes before I left.”
“So nothing has changed then,” he says, walking past me and stepping into my kitchen. He opens the fridge and pulls out my carton of orange juice, opening it and taking a large swig.
“Do you mind?” I say, feeling my blood boil. It’s never okay to drink right out of the carton.
He shoves it back in and slams the door shut, before turning to me. “Nope.”
“Why are you here? I’m sure it’s not to apologize for the other night.”
He crosses his arms. “I need money.”
“Shit, Li,” I sigh. “What have you done now?”
He looks offended. “Nothing, I’m just short on cash and I need to get some food and things.”
He’s lying; I know he’s lying, but to test it out I say, “Tell me what you need and I’ll buy it for you.”
He flinches. “Just give me the cash. I don’t have time for your mind games.”
“If you need it for food, you’ll let me order it,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a hard stare.
“For fuck’s sake, Avery. Why do you have to make things hard? You’re just like him!”
“Excuse me?” I snap. “I’m nothing like him. I’ve been busting my ass trying to help you for years now, Li, and you won’t let me. You’re so wrapped up in your emotional bullshit that you have fucked up your own life.” I scream the end part, and I hate that he’s gotten me so angry, that he’s torn this kind of emotion from me.
“I never asked you to take care of me,” he roars. “I don’t fuckin’ care if you do or you don’t.”