“Tell me about your major,” he said. “You’re doin’ architecture, right?”
“Yes,” I said, a little surprised he knew. I’d obviously told him in Vegas. “My dad’s one.”
He meshed his fingers with mine, putting the kibosh on my fidgeting.
“Did you always want to play guitar?” I asked, trying not to get too distracted by the way he was wrapped around me.
“Yeah. Music’s the only thing that ever really made sense to me. Can’t imagine doing anything else.”
“Huh.” It must be nice, having something to be so passionate about. I liked the idea of being an architect. Many of my childhood games had involved building blocks or drawing. But I didn’t feel driven to do it, exactly. “I’m pretty much tone deaf.”
“That explains a lot.” He chuckled.
“Be nice. I was never particularly good at sports either. I like drawing and reading and watching movies. And I like to travel, not that I’ve done much of it.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm.”
He shifted behind me, getting comfortable. “When I travel it’s always about the shows. Doesn’t leave much time for looking around.”
“That’s a pity.”
“And being recognized can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Now and then, it gets ugly. There’s a fair bit of pressure on us and I can’t always do what I want. Truth is, I’m kind of ready to slow things down, hang out at home more.”
I said nothing, turning his words over inside my head.
“The parties get old after a while. Having people around all the damn time.”
“I bet.” And yet, back in LA he’d still had a groupie hanging off him, cooing at his every word. Obviously parts of the lifestyle still appealed. Parts that I wasn’t certain I could compete with even if I wanted to. “Won’t you miss some of it?”
“Honestly, it’s all I’ve done for so damn long, I don’t know.”
“Well, you have a gorgeous home to hang out in.”
“Hmm.” He was quiet for a moment. “Ev?”
“Yeah?”
“Was being an architect your idea or your dad’s?”
“I don’t remember,” I admitted. “We’ve always talked about it. My brother was never interested in taking up the mantle. He was always getting into fights and skipping class.”
“You said you had a tough time at high school too.”
“Doesn’t everyone?” I wriggled around, turned over so I could see his face. “I don’t usually talk about that with other people.”
“We talked about it. You said you got picked on because of your size. I figured that’s what set you off with my friends. The fact that they were bullying that girl like a pack of fucking school kids.”
“I guess that would do it.” The teasing wasn’t a subject I liked to raise. Too easily, it bought back all of the crappy feelings associated with it. David’s arms didn’t allow for any of that to slip through, however. “Most of the teachers just ignored it. Like it was an extra hassle they didn’t need. But there was this one teacher, Miss Hall. Any time they started in on me or one of the other kids she’d intercede. She was great.”
“She sounds great. But you didn’t really answer my question. Do you want to be an architect?”
“Well, it’s what I’ve always planned to do. And I, ah, I like the idea of designing someone’s home. I don’t know that being an architect is my divine calling, like music is for you, but I think I could be good at it.”
“I’m not doubting that, baby,” he said, his voice soft but definite.
I tried not to let the endearment reduce me to a soggy mess on the mattress. Subtlety was the key. I’d hurt him in Vegas. If I was serious about this, about wanting him to give us another go, I needed to be careful. Give him good memories to replace the bad. Memories we could both share this time.
“Ev, is it what you want to do with your life?”
I stopped. Having already trotted out the standard responses, extra thought was required. The plan had been around for so long I didn’t tend to question it. There was safety and comfort to be had there. But David wanted more and I wanted to give it to him. Maybe this was why I’d spilled my secrets to him in Vegas. Something about this man drew me in and I didn’t want to fight it. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”
“That’s okay, you know.” His gaze never shifted from mine. “You’re only twenty-one.”
“But I’m supposed to be an adult now, taking responsibility for myself. I’m supposed to know these things.”