“I just don’t understand. This is what you’ve wanted. Why are you holding back now?” Willa’s question was earnest and heartfelt, and as much as Lu enjoyed antagonizing her every once in a while, she couldn’t block out sincere Willa.
“I don’t know how to do it, Will. He’s everything I remember, but so much more. Of course I love him, but I don’t think I can control it. I feel like I would spiral into an abyss of Lex and lose myself in him. Even with Nina anchoring me, I don’t think I can be with him and hold on to everything else. And what happens when he leaves me the next time? I don’t know that I could face it. Imagine how interconnected we all are now. What would happen when we aren’t together? It would affect everyone and everything I love. The only way I can manage is to stay away.” Lu felt embarrassed admitting it to Willa, knowing Willa was more like their mother, scoffing in the face of romance.
“Why are you convinced he’d leave you?”
“He’s Lex Pellitteri, for God’s sake!”
“And?”
“And have you seen the women in his serial-dating list? They’re these amazingly beautiful women. I’m just me.”
Willa groaned. “You sound like an insecure sixteen-year-old. Get over yourself.”
And she’s back, Lu thought.
“Look, Lu, I’m not a mother. And I can see the concerns for Nina and her getting confused and the desire to protect her. Even though you didn’t include that in your little pity party. You two were made for each other. When God was handing out soul mates, you two were in the front of the line. You with him is a much better version of Lu. So you need to get your shit together. Don’t get on that plane in the morning without talking to him again. Don’t let him walk away this time. Because this time, you won’t have anyone to blame but yourself.”
Willa got up from the table. Picking up the debris as she went, she headed back into the kitchen.
Lu dropped her head to the table wishing she’d never opened her mouth. She rolled her head to the side and lifted her wrist, studying the unexpected Christmas present from Lex. The bracelet wrapped around her wrist several times and finally joined at a clasp buried in its wrappings. The stones alternated blue and green, a testament, she knew, to the color of their eyes. It was beautiful and delicate. She could hardly acknowledge him when she’d opened it. But she’d put it on immediately, and now it was a constant reminder of him. Groaning, she stayed like that, so lost in thought that she didn’t hear Willa approach her again.
“Just so we’re clear,” Willa said, startling Lu, who sat up to look at her sister, “the Lex I see, the one that I like so much, has everything to do with you. I know I said you are a better version with him around. But the only version of him I like is that one I see when he is basking in your presence. Just so we’re clear.” With that she left Lu alone again, head on table, attempting to figure out her life.
Nina and the boys returned late in the afternoon to a quiet house. Lu had long since succumbed to an alcohol-induced nap, and Willa had retired to her room to give Lu some space. Once home, though, a flurry of activity began as they had to start packing and cleaning up the house. The airport run the next day would be far more extensive as they all would be heading out. Lu and Willa to London; Pete back home; Lex and Nina, along with Nina’s nanny, to a series of games. They reconvened for dinner, then headed off again to their own courts. Willa and Pete huddled together in his room. Lu and Nina spent their time packing and talking, because they wouldn’t be reunited for a week. Lex sequestered himself in his room.
Once Lu put Nina to bed, she attempted to read. But with scenes from last night scrolling through her head and Willa’s talk earlier in the day bouncing around, she was restless and frustrated. Throwing her book down on the bed, she literally kicked her feet, engaging in her own little temper tantrum. When a knock sounded at her door, she straightened up guiltily.
Another knock. “Lu, you awake,” Lex whispered at her door.
Getting up, she went to let him in.
“Are you OK?” he asked, taking in her flushed cheeks.
So happy that X-ray vision wasn’t a reality, she nodded, then opened the door more fully to allow him to come in.
He eyed her warily, knowing she was up to something. But when no explanation was forthcoming, he continued inside. He thrust some papers toward her.
“What’s this?” she inquired, without taking the time to look at it.
“Itinerary for the next week. Cities, hotels we are scheduled to stay at, game schedule. Everything you should need to know where Nina is,” he said proudly.