Lex and Lu(88)
His question caught her off guard. “Yes, I am.”
“Even with the grandparents showing up tomorrow?”
“Are you?” she shot back.
Laughing again, he said, “I don’t know. The last time I saw Jo I essentially told her to fuck off. And I haven’t seen Amber since you told me that she became mommy dearest when I left. I’m feeling a little put out by that. So, I’m not sure if I’m up for the next two days.”
“Lex, why is all of this so important all of a sudden?”
Turning his head away from her and looking up at the ceiling, he seemed to contemplate his answer. “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”
She rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want the answer.”
“Does that mean you’re ready to talk to me?”
“I thought I asked you a question, not the other way around,” she retorted.
He turned his head again and pinned her with his eyes. “If we start this conversation, I’m going to be looking for answers too. I just want to know if you’re ready for that.”
“Yup,” she responded as if he’d asked her if she wanted more wine. Without Nina, Willa, and Pete providing distractions, Lu’s relaxed mood had fizzled into a nervous anticipation. If having this conversation would allow things to retire to some new normal for them, then she was more than ready.
Lex turned back to look at the ceiling, seemingly telling her it would be easier if he didn’t have to look at her. Although she’d employed that method often during their exchanges, it hurt that he found more comfort in the ceiling than in her eyes.
“I told you that your graduation was almost a turning point for me. Up until that weekend, I’d been going through the motions. Not just in my personal relationships but with soccer too. That’s why the whole scene with Malcolm,” he reminded her. He turned to look at her to see her acknowledgement. When she nodded, he continued. “I think it was the drunk texts.” He chuckled softly. “There you were, calling me out from across the pond. I texted Pete after that to make sure you got home OK. And when I did that I felt like it was all wrong. My brother was with you and my daughter, celebrating your graduation, and I was sitting alone in my home. I got mad and then I got drunk.” He turned to look at Lu again. “I have never been that drunk. While I was drunk I needed to know.” He paused. “You know, at the funeral, I knew you were feeding me a line of bullshit about the family not telling me. That’s just not you, but I bought it because otherwise, I thought, everyone in my life had been lying to me for a very long time. It was one of those moments when I remembered how amazing you are.”
He stopped, but Lu knew that it wasn’t for her to make a comment.
“I jumped online and bought a ticket home. Which tells you how fucked up I was, because I had a game in four days and the last thing I needed was to miss practice for a transatlantic flight. Anyway, I get home and Jo’s not there. She’s at your graduation too. I couldn’t believe it. Everyone was a part of my family except me. I don’t know if I can describe the rage I felt.”
He looked at her again. “You know it though, don’t you?”
Lu stared at him questioningly.
“That day, in the Sunday-school room.” He paused and let it sink in. “There is no description for the rage, Lu. And being mad just isn’t part of who I am. I was out of control, unable to rein it in. Luckily Jo didn’t come home for another twenty-four hours, and by then it had gone. I questioned her and she told me what happened—her version, which, by the way, fits with yours—except for the part where she’s your savior. She didn’t try to make herself look good, which I respect. But it all seemed so callous, and I couldn’t take it. I left there after telling her to basically stay away. And then I found myself at Willa’s.”
He laughed again. “I wish you could have seen her face. You would have loved it. You know Willa is never caught off guard.” More laughter. “Fucking classic.”
“She didn’t tell me anything other than you spent the night there.”
He nodded his head and went back to looking at the ceiling. “Of course she didn’t. That’s Willa. If I ever need a lawyer again, I’m hiring her.”
“Smart man,” Lu said, grinning. “So are you going to tell me anything?”
“Probably not,” he said.
Lu felt herself struggling with the mad again.
“I fired Caroline,” Lex informed her.
“What?” Lu’s surprise was evident in her voice.