Lex and Lu(62)

“Right. And where were you? Oh, yes, you were playing soccer.” Sarcasm laced through her tone.

“Maybe I’d have been right there with you if I knew you didn’t have an abortion. Don’t try to throw the blame on me. You didn’t give me a chance to be a father.”

Finally, thought Lu. Maybe now she could apologize for everything and they could move forward. “Lex, I am so sorry. It shouldn’t have happened the way it happened. I—”

“Lu, I can forgive that part. I can’t forgive the eight years after that. I’m paying for it right now. She may enjoy being around me, but I’m making it as entertaining as possible. What I want is normal, and I can’t get that. How can she really trust me when I wasn’t part of her life for so long? She hasn’t asked me, but I know she wants to. And I don’t blame her.”

Lex began pacing again. Lu didn’t know what to say without seeming like she was defending herself. It didn’t seem appropriate to do so when she knew she’d been wrong.

“Look what happened today. If she was OK with everything that was going on, she wouldn’t have stolen things from me to sell to her friends. As entrepreneurial as it was, it was wrong.”

“Correct. We have a number of issues that we need to discuss with her.” Lu began ticking them off on her fingers and Lex couldn’t help thinking about his first meeting with Nina. “Number one, stealing. Number two, selling the stuff to other students at school. Number three, being suspended. We have to talk to her about all of it, and we need to come up with a punishment for her. I was thinking that maybe she shouldn’t go on the trip with you.”

This statement brought Lex up short. “Are you trying to punish her or me?”

“Lex, she’s been looking forward to that trip for two months. It’s a good punishment.”

“Why doesn’t she miss your trip to the States tomorrow? It’s more timely than our trip in three weeks. It’s immediate and effective,” he argued.

“I’m receiving my degree. She’s going to see the family and visit her friends. It would devastate her.”

“Lu, I need for her to come on this trip with me. I need a span of time where I can be the parent. Only having her on alternate weekends and once during the week doesn’t allow us to establish a relationship. I’m taking her on this trip. We need to come up with an alternative punishment.”

“No. I’m not leaving her here when I go home. She needs this trip.”

“Well, she needs mine too, so we need to come up with an alternative,” Lex yelled, temper finally taking hold.

Lu jumped, not used to seeing temper on Lex. It didn’t suit him. He looked different, more dangerous, with his eyes glinting like shards of green glass and a scowl pulling his eyebrows together. The woman in her said sex, the mom in her said, shit. She wasn’t up for a battle tonight, but she knew it had been coming for seven months, like a great storm cloud chasing across a summer sky.

Nina came out of her room, obviously summoned by Lex’s voice booming through the cavernous flat. “What are you yelling for?”

Both Lex and Lu were caught off guard, so engaged in a silent battle of wills that neither of them heard her approach.

“We’re just trying to figure out some stuff,” Lu said reassuringly.

Nina walked over to Lex. “I’m sorry I stole stuff from you.”

Lex wanted to tell her it was OK and that they were OK, but he knew that he couldn’t do that. Dropping down to one knee, he said, “You know that if you had asked me for something, I would give it to you to show your friends. But taking it from me and selling it was wrong.” He said it matter-of-factly, not directing his anger at Lu toward Nina. “I’m disappointed that you did that.”

Nina burst into tears. Lu watched, fascinated. “No one believed me that you were my dad. They said you didn’t have any kids. The papers never said that you did. They thought I was making it up,” she hiccupped as the sobs broke through. Lex took her in his arms, but he didn’t tell her it was OK, which made Lu smile inwardly.

“Why does it matter so much to you that they know?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Because I’ve never had a dad before.”

Lu had to hold back tears. Her crying wouldn’t make it any better. She turned away, trying to get ahold of the persistent tears.

“You’ve always had a dad. I’m just part of your life now.” He pulled her in close to him.

“But where have you been?” Nina asked, tears still coursing down her cheeks.



Lex, thankful that Nina couldn’t see the look of horror on his face, wanted to groan out loud. How the hell was he supposed to answer that? Did he tell her that he didn’t know about her? He watched as Lu slowly turned back to the scene and met his eyes. He could see his mortification reflected there. So who did he implicate—himself or Lu? She seemed to be asking the same question. He didn’t want to take the blame, but he didn’t have the heart to place all of the blame on Lu either.