“You want to talk here?” she said, apprehension in her voice.
“We’re in a church. As good a place as any,” he said, a harsh laugh escaping. “This is where people come to confess their sins.”
“OK,” she said, drawing out the syllables. “Do you want to sit down?”
“I’m not sure that would be best right now, Lu. Tell me what you need to tell me.”
“Lex, I need you to come sit down and talk to me. Please.”
“Like I needed for you to look at me when we were fucking last night?” he asked scathingly as he turned toward her and blasted her with a look of pure hatred.
Lu jerked back.
He started walking toward her. He didn’t feel in control of anything that was happening. His anger was dictating this show. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted her wounded, like he was wounded. He watched fear begin to crowd her face and it made him happy. Stalking across the room to where she sat on the chairs he and Caroline had abandoned, Lex stopped directly in front of her.
“Stand up!” he demanded.
Lu’s blue eyes bulged with disbelief.
“You already know, don’t you?” she asked, finding her voice.
“Know what?” Lex asked, deceptively calm although he felt anything but. “What do I already know?” He reached down with both hands, slipping them around her arms like manacles. He pulled her to her feet. He managed to restrain his anger. He didn’t want to hurt her, but suddenly he wanted her. He knew it was dangerous, with his rage bubbling up within him, but seeing her, being in the same room with her, continued to make him want to take her.
Lu continued to eye him warily as he moved her backwards toward the wall. When they reached it, he leaned forward and nipped her by her ear. “What do I know, Lu?” he said raggedly in her ear, sending shivers of apprehension and desire through them both.
“Lex, please stop. We need to talk.”
“I’m waiting for you to talk, baby,” he said as he continued to hold her by the arms and explore her neck with his mouth.
“Lex, I can’t have this conversation with you doing that.” She tried to move away from him, but he wouldn’t let her. “Lex! Stop it. You’re scaring me!”
He jerked his head up and his eyes blazed into hers. He released her. But he could see that she was flushed with desire, that she wanted him. Even though she’d betrayed him all these years, she wanted him and he wanted her. And still he felt that relentless drive to hurt her. Not touching her, he leaned down and said low, close to her ear, “You want me. Like I want you. I can see it. Your underwear are probably soaking wet. Aren’t they?”
She shook her head vigorously, but they both knew she was lying.
“Should I check?” he asked, dropping to his knees in front of her. “Since the cat seems to have your tongue.” He smiled.
He ran his hands up her leg but she clamped her thighs shut.
He laughed. “Come on, Lu. You so want this.” Relentlessly, he moved his hand up, forcing her legs to part until he found what he was looking for. He groaned. “Fuck, Lu.” He moved her panties aside and plunged two fingers inside of her and she cried out. He knew he had her when she spread her legs, allowing him greater access. He didn’t look at her. He stared at the wall behind her, trying to keep everything in check. He was seething, but all of his energy was with her, in what he was doing to her. He pushed her to the limit and right as she was about to clench around him, he pulled out of her.
“That’s right,” he said, not in his sweet lover-like voice from the night before but in a driven, hard voice that Lu had never heard before. “You don’t like to look at me when you come, do you?” He turned her around toward the wall.
Lu knew she should protest, but somehow she thought that this was what he needed, and she was prepared to sacrifice a lot to be there for him. He could feel that in her. He knew she was allowing this because she wanted to put off telling him. So he drove her on, punishing her for her weakness. Before she realized what was happening, he was inside of her. He thrusted into her, not thinking of anything other than exacting some type of revenge for the hurt she was about to inflict on him. He finished quickly, his rage carrying him onward, driving him into her in a relentless rhythm. He reached around her, touched her intimately just once, and she shattered. As he held her while she climaxed, his eye was drawn once more to the picture of Jesus rising from the dead. It was at that moment, with a clarity that astounded him, that he saw the irony. He had just died inside.
Lu pushed away from the wall and, keeping her back to him, fixed her dress. She longed for a bathroom so she could expel him from her body, but she knew that she could prolong this no longer. Before they could decimate each other, Lu found one of the small chairs and took a seat. Composing her face, she looked up, searching for his gaze. She noticed then that he’d been watching her, maybe waiting for her to rail at him. Unsure, she reached over and patted the chair beside her.