Lex and Lu(36)

Lu had just finished packing up the rest of the food when Pete found her. He draped his arm around her shoulder and leaned in for a quick hug.

“Your presence is being requested.”

Lu looked at him curiously, questioning him with a look.

“Lex asked me to come find you. He needs to talk to you.”

“Oh,” Lu said.

“You’ve avoided him all day, Lu. What did you expect?” As much as he loved her, he was unimpressed with her behavior today, and it showed in his tone.

“You’re pissed at me?” she asked, without any fight in her voice.

“I’m disappointed. How could you abandon him today of all days? He needed you. I could see it in his face.”

She stepped away from Pete, needing some distance. “I couldn’t, Pete. I couldn’t lie to him up close anymore.”

She sounded so defeated that Pete took pity on her. “So then don’t, Lu. Tell him. Free yourself, for God’s sake,” he responded rather vehemently. “This shit’s gone on long enough.”

Eyes floating with tears, Lu ran her hands through her hair, tucking it behind her ears. She couldn’t stop fidgeting. Pete took note and moved closer to her, grabbing her hands and stilling them.

“I’ve tried to stay out of this. But everything changed when my father died. He wanted Lex to know. I know he never said anything to you—he’d never pressure you, but it’s what he wanted. He’d always wanted that. I know he got outvoted all those years ago.” Pausing he continued holding her hands. He moved closer and captured her eyes with his. “You have to tell him.”

Lu yanked her hands out of his. “Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I don’t look at Nina every day and long for her to know him? What kind of person do you think I am? I thought you knew me.”

“Don’t do this, Lu. I know you, and I love you with all my heart. And I know what you want, deep down in here,” he said, placing his hand over his heart. “But, sweetheart, there’s no chance.” Before she could protest, he continued: “And I know you know that. But you slept with him, and you’ve been with him for two days, trying to hold on to that dream. You have to let it go. You have to tell him, and you have to give some of Nina to him. I know it’s scary. But it’s time.”

He drew her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

It felt just like he imagined it would feel. Blanketed in a constant feeling of impending doom, Pete held on to her. He knew he was on the verge of losing his brother. He’d been a part of the great conspiracy. As much as it would hurt for Lex to know of his betrayal, it would be worth it the moment he saw Lex with Nina. He’d sacrifice his relationship with Lex so that Lex could know his daughter. It was that simple. But he knew that today he’d be burying his uncomplicated, deep relationship with his brother just as he was burying his father and it left him feeling dizzy and immensely sad.

“Lu,” he said, “I want you to listen to what I’m about to say. I know you won’t want to hear this right now. So I’m asking that you put it away, lock it up somewhere where you can easily retrieve it when you’re ready to face it. Can you do that for me?”

He felt her take a big, deep, shuddering breath. “OK,” she answered weakly.

“For eight years, I’ve watched you be this amazing woman and mother. You’ve raised Nina to be a thoughtful, caring child. And you’ve still managed to achieve what you’ve needed to achieve with that crazy, big, powerful brain of yours. But you’ve held on to this childhood fantasy of you and Lex. It’s paralyzed you. You haven’t moved on.” He stopped, letting her digest what he said as he continued to hold and soothe her. “You are carrying a tremendous weight on your shoulders. When you let this go, when you tell Lex, you will be free. I know it’s going to take time, but you’ll heal and you’ll move on. And you’ll meet someone else who can make you happy.” He felt her stiffen in his arms. “The Lex you knew has been grown up for a long time. He looks familiar to you and he feels familiar and he’s safe because in your mind he’s that eighteen-year-old boy that you loved your whole life.” Pete pulled back from her but took her face in his hands. “The Lex I know is worldly and sophisticated. He’s rich and smart. He’s used to everyone around him catering to him. He would stomp on your tender heart. He wouldn’t mean to, but he would tear you apart.” He saw her flinch like he’d slapped her. “Let him go.”

He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her again.