Her thoughts drifted to Lu. And she felt proud. She had been magnificent—an avenging angel. Taking back what she lost those years ago. As she thought of Lu taking control, it dawned on her.
“Lex,” she said out loud.
Amber and Chris turned to her, waiting for her to continue.
“Lex brings it out in her. That confidence we just witnessed. That ‘swag’! He’s the one person who could ever tap into that. I have a feeling that today isn’t going to be anything like we think it is. She’s got something planned. Something no one else would have even considered. She’s going to do something to save my son.”
As the three of them contemplated the coming day, they lapsed into that now-familiar silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When Lex, Willa, and Pete walked up the deck steps, they shattered the pensive mood. Willa made her way to her parents, offering hugs and kisses as Pete and Lex bent to greet their mother. The three of them shared a look of concern. They weren’t sure what they’d missed, but their parents looked shell-shocked and the day hadn’t yet begun. Willa and Pete looked to Lex, begging him to do something about the mood.
“What’s going on out here?” Lex inquired, taking center stage. “You all look like you’re going to a funeral.”
And just like that, the bubble of tension burst and everyone laughed.
14
Everyone except Lu had made it for breakfast. Lex waited, watching as the door continued to open to admit people, but Lu never appeared. Miguel, Caroline, and Pete stayed close to him. Miguel and Caroline to offer support, Pete to siphon it. They’d always taken turns, but today, Pete was leaning hard. When it wasn’t on Lex, Willa was close by, and for that Lex was grateful. But it also made him angry because Lu seemed to have disappeared. Lex desperately longed for a run to drag the anger from his system. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been as pissed as he was right now. Two hours before saying good-bye to his father, and he couldn’t think of much other than waking up alone. He longed for Lu to be with him. He’d tried to play it off, but Pete and Willa knew. They knew he had spent his night with Lu, and it was obvious she’d slipped out before Lex had gotten up when he strolled out of Lu’s room alone. Although he’d slipped easily into his role of lightheartedness, he resented having to be the one to help everyone feel better while he slid further toward darkness. He needed Lu now, and he couldn’t figure out where she’d gone and why she’d left without him.
Right before they left for the service, he pulled Willa to the side.
“Where is she?” he asked, as he attempted to maintain his façade of utter coolness.
Willa didn’t try to pretend, which he appreciated. “She went to the church to help take care of things so your mom could stay here with you and Pete.” She reached out and rubbed his arm. “I’m not saying she didn’t take an opportunity to avoid you,” she paused, “but she was trying to help your mom.”
Somewhat mollified, he gave her a brief smile. “Thanks,” he said, pulling her into a side hug and kissing her forehead. “I’ve missed you, ya know.”
She slung her arm around his waist. “It’s good to see you too, Lexifer,” she said, laughing at her very old pet name for him.
He threw back his head and laughed. “I totally forgot about that.” Leaning in, he said softly, “Go easy on my boy, OK?”
“I’ll try. But as you know, I’m not easy.”
“Ha! Oh, I know.”
“You OK?” she asked, knowing the question wasn’t a fair one.
“It’s all relative, right?” At her nod, he said, “I think I am in shock still. I don’t really believe that he’s gone. I mean, I believe it, but it hasn’t hit me.”
Since she had nothing to compare it to, she simply nodded.
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yeah. I’ll go grab Pete. I can drive.”
“Thanks.”
The service was beautiful. Isn’t that what you are supposed to say about a memorial service for your father? he thought. Lex felt the sympathy around him. A tangible euphoria, as if everyone in the church was having the same memory of his father, enveloped him in all of his happy memories of the most amazing person he had known. Besieged by different images still alive in his heart, he focused in the defining moment of his childhood. He’d always been closer to his dad than to Jo. So when Lu told him that she was pregnant, Mike was the person he sought.
“Pops, I need to talk to you about something,” he’d said when he found his father alone in his office Lex was fairly certain that his father assumed he wanted to talk to him about his upcoming trip. He’d made the U-20 National team and would be leaving soon.