“Listen.” I rub her shoulder. I’d hug her but that would make her more uncomfortable.
“I know dating isn’t going to be easy with Bob. I know you really like him. He’s a nice guy. Cute, sweet and obviously likes to bang the living shit outa ya. Give it a go, and I’ll hold your hand. K?”
“K. Thanks.” She sighs, relaxing her tense shoulders.
Five more minutes of standing here with her and draping the black shirt over her shoulders, she seems to be in a little better place now. I take that as my cue and skedaddle.
“If you need me, you know where I’ll be.” I remind her, standing in the doorway between her bedroom and the rest of her apartment.
“Yes, Lex. In the tub, listening to Patsy and probably trying to ignore the fact you just blew off a perfectly acceptable man.”
Rolling me eyes and stomping my heel on the floor in anger. She looks at me, making eye contact.
“Stop reading my emails!” I snap.
“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just tell me about them.”
“They are none of your business. If I wanted help, I would ask for it. I don’t like him anymore. He’s gotta be a crazy lunatic, and I know a man like him would never accept me. Even if he’s been through some of the stuff I have. Trust me; he’s not been through it all.”
“At least he has experienced some of what you have. Isn’t that better than nothing at all?”
“No! Not dating at all is better. I like my life, Roni; I want to keep it that way it is. No men. Period. I get my kicks when I need them with Daniel. And I’m not a nympho so the few times a week works just fine.”
I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince her or myself. It’s true Daniel feeds my sexual hunger. Which as of late have been arising ten times more than it ever has before. And before him I didn’t have anyone feed my sexual need. It barely existed. All I have to do is look in the mirror and think of Brian, and all of those gruesome acts. That shuts down the lady throbbing between my legs faster than a speeding bullet. Cuts and gashes leave scars and I’ve got enough to make an entire roadmap on my body. Front and back. Where does it lead to? I dunno. I can tell you this for sure though, my body is no wonderland. It’s a battlefield.
Chapter Ten
In front of the mirror, I twirl around three times. I’m standing in my bathroom making sure I’m looking my best for tonight’s festivities; we’re going downtown to the Devil’s Den.
Last night, after I left Roni, I did what she said I would. I took a bath, listened to Patsy and drank two glasses of wine. When I got out I lounged in my silk red nightgown, tucked into my soft luxurious bed and I read my vintage Canterbury Tales book, which I’ve read from cover to cover over half dozen times. It’s not the easiest read but I thoroughly enjoy it. Chaucer is extraordinarily prolific with his choices and uses of words. I think that’s why I find him positively fascinating.
‘In my part of the land there used to be
An archdeacon, a man of high degree,
Who’d execute with bold determination
The punishment for acts of fornication,
Of pander, also of sorcery,
Of defamation and adultery,
Of errant churchmen, of false testaments
And contracts and of lack of sacraments,
Of usury and simony also.’
This is one of my favorite excerpts from Chaucer’s writings. He’s amazing, I tell ya.
This morning I woke up, spent an extra twenty minutes gracefully curving and flowing through a yoga routine I use to anchor my chi into a more relaxed state. Then I showered and went downstairs to have tea with Roni in the kitchen, per usual. She seemed to be in a slightly better mood than last evening. We tried the nut biscotti Barbie had given us and I loved it, Roni, not so much. She likes her biscotti to be less nutty and more fruity or chocolaty, although, she does love the other two. I liked the cinnamon sugar better than the salted caramel, by only a small fraction. Then I went to work. It was a quiet day. Thank God. Now I have twenty minutes until I meet Roni at the Devil’s Den. Bob took her out to dinner to Vino’s tonight, before they meet up with a group of his friends and me. Poor Roni, she doesn’t get close with many females. I’m the only close friend she has. So we’re stuck together.
Examining myself in the mirror, I run down my mental checklist. Lipstick - check; I’m wearing a nude shade tonight. Eye shadow - check, going subtle with greens and a hint of gold. Blush, foundation, eyeliner, mascara - check, check, check, check. Good, that’s all completed.
My hair, I’ve left down; it’s naturally straight, silky smooth and abundantly full. I know most women would kill to have hair like mine. It’s nice and looks better down than up tonight.