But Lincoln, I don’t know how he remains the pillar of strength that he does. I crumble at the sight of him. He is the only one that got any lasting effects from this traumatic event, a bilateral amputation of both of his legs. The one buckshot shell unloaded directly on his left leg severing it immediately. Pieces of the buckshot hit is other leg and when the second shell unloaded, it somehow miss fired or something. I don’t know what happened exactly, but that was the shot that grazed Gage’s neck and ended up hitting Lincoln in the opposite leg in a few spots. Police think some of it might be ricochet. No one can explain it really. I can’t remember much. I just know the outcome.
Originally, the doctors just took off the bottom of the left leg, up past the knee. There wasn’t much left to have to surgically remove by the time they performed the operation. I’m going off what I was told. This isn’t my firsthand view. Then six hours later, they were unable to restore proper blood flow back to the right calf. So, they wanted to just amputate his calf down. Lincoln, in a medical haze, ordered them, apparently rather bluntly, that they were going to ‘Even them out’. Or that’s how his nurse Molly explained it to me. The technical term of what Lincoln has undergone is called a bilateral trans-femoral amputation. And it’s my fault!
“Lex, stop thinking about that day.” Lincoln shakes me, yanking me from my thoughts.
“I can’t, I ruined your life.” I tear up, and his arms come around my side and tug me onto his lap. I frantically try to get away.
“Dammit, Lex. Stop.” He orders, holding me so tight I can’t move.
Emma stands up and grabs my face in her hands. “Mommy, it’s okay,”
I hate that she has to see me like this. We go through this some days and other days I can handle it. Emma, even though she doesn’t know this, has been the one to make me pull through. If it wasn’t for her, and having to take care of her and watch movies together and eating breakfast in the mornings as a family, I don’t think I could have survived. When people say having children makes your life seem whole. It’s true. Emma is the part of me that makes me feel complete; she’s the missing link to my life. Her and Gage are. My life was aimlessly skating along before they came into my life and now, I would do anything to keep them here. And keep them safe.
Two weeks after the incident, Gage and Emma moved into what is now our home. Roni had hired cleaning crews and carpenters to fix the foyer, to rid it of the bloodied mess. It was perfect by the time we got back from the hospital exactly a week from when the incident occurred.
In the mornings, all three of us and Roni, along with Bob, all have breakfast in the kitchen’s nook. I’ve even started to learn to cook biscuits and gravy, per Roni’s request, being the pregnant woman and all. Then Gage and I both take Emma to school, we usually come home afterward. And most mornings when we do, we make love. On a few occasions, we can’t even make it to our bedroom before we are tearing each other’s clothes off, so we’ve been trying out new spots all over the house. Me, bending over the kitchen counter happens to be one of my new favorites. Although it does make for quite a messy clean up. Either way it’s worth it.
“Lex.” I break from mental trance and realize I’m cuddled into Lincoln’s lap. I’m now completely relaxed and melded into him. Glancing down into my eyes, he offers me a gentle smile.
“My girl is back, it’s nice to see her. I missed you.”
I muster up a faint grin. “I missed you too.”
Looking over to the grass, Emma is gone! Where’d she go?! I try to break away from Lincoln’s abrasive hold. Twisting and jerking. I need to find her! She can’t go running off! What if something happens to her?
“Stop! My Molly just came and took her to get some chocolate milk, to give us some alone time.”
Forcing myself, I relax again and snuggle into his giant man chest. Trying to forget why I’m at the hospital and just relishing in the fact that I am cuddling with my best friend.
“Hey you two.” I hear the sexiest voice call.
“Hey bro,” Lincoln says and Gage takes a seat next to us on the bench right outside the hospital. The bench that Lincoln is strapped to with a belt around the waist through the back slats so he doesn’t fall. If the nurse isn’t out here with him, she forces him to wear it, although he hates it. Relinquishing power isn’t his strong suit and Nurse Molly is his biggest pain in the ass. She cares for him more than Bridget or Rodger do combined.
“She freaked out again didn’t she?” Gage asks, Lincoln.