“It still hurt like a motherfucker because no matter if the guy brings flowers and a ring, his dick is still going to be ripping through something inside of you. Sorry, girl, there’s no way to pretty that up.”
“Ouch. That sounds awful.”
“Oh, it is,” Stacy assured her, sparing no gory details. “The first time I had sex, I thought I was going to die. Literally felt as if the dude was pulling me apart.”
“Could it have something to do with the fact that they were fourteen?” Julianna teased, having known Stacy since they were in junior high. “I mean, maybe that was the problem. You were just a kid.”
Stacy gave her a look that said, don’t be dumb, continuing with a sigh. “Well, I don’t want to scare you off sex — because frankly, at this point, there’s probably cobwebs down there — but you need to just do it and get it over with. You’re in college for crying out loud. Time to become a woman, Jules.”
“I’m saving myself.”
“For what?”
“The man I marry,” Julianna answered, purposefully bumping Stacy with her shoulder because Stacy already knew that. “I want it to mean something, not just some quick, inexperienced poke in the dark at some frat party, okay? And why are you in a hurry for me to lose it?”
“Because the longer you hold onto your V-card, the more the gap widens between us. What are we going to talk about if we can’t swap sex stories? I mean, this is college. We’re supposed to be exploring our sexuality and making terrible choices so we get it out of our system.”
“Is that so?”
“Absolutely,” Stacy said with complete conviction. “You see it on the news all the time.”
“What do we see on the news?”
“Repressed sexuality brought on by missed opportunities earlier in life. Classic stuff. You don’t want to be a cliché, right?”
“So you’re saying if I don’t go wild and crazy in college, I’m going to…” she raised her brow and waited for Stacy to finish for her.
“You’re going to have a mid-life crisis at forty as you try to recapture your wild youth,” Stacy supplied, nodding as she exclaimed, “And before you know it, you’re seducing the pool boy. Or gardener. Or your son’s best friend!”
“Calm down, you perv,” Julianna said, appalled even as she laughed. “It’s not a matter of national security or a threat to my future sanity if I hold out for the right guy.”
“Well, maybe not but I just worry that you’re going to be really disappointed when you finally give it up. You’re not likely to see stars. It takes time and practice to figure out how to ring your own bell. You know?”
“I know how to ring my own bell,” Julianna said, still laughing at her friend’s perception of her naivete. Even though she hadn’t had sex, she masturbated frequently enough to know how she liked to be touched. Stacy linked her arm through Julianna’s and said, “I appreciate your, um, advice, but I think I’m going to hold onto my V-card for a little while longer. Besides, who has time to date? These classes are kicking my ass. Speaking of, did you study for the Psych exam?”
Julianna opened her eyes as the memory faded. Seemed a lifetime ago that she’d been that carefree girl whose biggest concern was cramming for finals and hoping to make enough money to cover her dorm fee. That’d been before Tom’s accident. After that, everything had changed.
And now, here she was. Her V-card was definitely a thing of the past and she was knocked up. A short laugh escaped. What a turn of events.
Well, at least Boston had known what he was doing because her first time…definitely hadn’t sucked.
-3-
Everything in him screamed to go after Julianna but he wasn’t about to chase after her when that other guy was hanging around, acting like the hero. Of course, Boston hadn’t exactly helped in that department but he couldn’t help himself around Julianna. Maybe she brought out the worst in him. He’d never been so consumed with another human being. Dare he admit that he was obsessed? But to admit that would be to admit that Julianna was the one with all the power in the relationship and he couldn’t do that. Boston climbed into his car and headed for the main part of town. He needed to find his center again before he could return to even footing with Julianna. Women were a dime a dozen. At any given moment, he could have a handful of women in his bed, begging to suck his cock or give him their ass to fuck. Money and influence were the most effective aphrodisiac in his experience. Maybe that’s what he needed. A good, emotionless fuck with a beautiful stranger. What would Julianna think of that? Would she care? There was a time when he’d imagined his life unfolding so differently — one filled with the happiness and simple joy of a wife and children — but Gigi had helped him to see that he’d been pathetically naïve. Women, at their core, were interested in what men could give them — either in the bedroom or in their bank account — and he’d learned that lesson well.