“Yeah, I guess you’re grandmother was right.” She heaved a heavy sigh, wishing she knew what the right answer to her problems was. Julianna looked to Lilah and wondered if the sprite islander had ever known a bad day in her life. On impulse she asked, “Was it always smooth sailing for you and your guy?”
Lilah laughed. “Heck no. I left him when I was pregnant with our twins because his family —at the time — was atrocious and I suffered a real case of low self-esteem. Gosh, that seems like ages ago now.”
Julianna stared, shocked. “Really? Wow. I didn’t expect that answer. I…wow.” She stopped a minute to digest the information. “But it worked out all right?”
“Yep. But not without a lot of work and forgiveness on all sides. I was pretty stubborn and so was my husband but I’m so grateful neither of us bailed. Our life is pretty amazing, I’m not gonna lie.”
“I can imagine,” Julianna murmured in agreement. How could living on a tropical island be any sort of tragedy? “How did you know that going forward with your husband was the right choice?”
“Because it was the only choice when I really thought about it. I’ve never loved anyone like I love Justin. He is my soulmate for sure. But before you get the wrong idea, it’s not always seashells and boiled bananas. We argue, we get on each other’s nerves and sometimes we go to bed angry but none of that matters in the big scheme of things because we love each other more than anything we disagree about. I guess that’s what matters.”
Julianna nodded, wishing she and Boston only had simple quibbles to argue about. Their entire foundation was built on sand and then when she’d tried to imagine living in that beautiful sand castle, the tide came in and washed it all away as a reminder that it’d never been built to last. Tears stung her eyes before she could push them down. Lilah rested a gentle hand on her shoulder and said with gentle conviction, “He loves you. He really does” which only served to break the dam open and Julianna could only sob openly. Lilah folded her into a hug and just held her while she cried.
“He doesn’t love me,” Julianna said between watery hiccups. “He never did. And then he cheated on me just to drive the point home. I’m an inconvenience that he’s tired of and that’s all I’ll ever be. I was stupid to hope for more and now I’m stuck with him for the rest of my life.”
There was a frown in Lilah’s voice as she said, “Well, I can’t say that I’m happy to hear that he cheated on you but men do things for convoluted reasons that they regret later. I’m willing to bet he really regrets hurting you.”
Julianna drew away and wiped her nose with her towel, confused. “Why would you say that?”
“I guess because I saw the anguish in his eyes when he left the other day. He also threw down a lot of cash so that you don’t have to worry about staying for as long as you like.”
“He did?”
“Yeah. He also told me to call him if you need anything. Night or day. Does that sound like the man who wants to be rid of you?”
It’s all for the baby, Julianna realized, squashing the spark of hope the minute it sprang alive. “It’s because I’m carrying his baby. That’s all he cares about. Not me.”
“I don’t think so. I saw pure anguish in his eyes. He loves you. But maybe he doesn’t think he deserves you? I don’t know…I’m just throwing out my two cents. You know him better than I do but I know what I saw.”
Why would Boston crush her so cruelly if he truly did love her? “I don’t understand,” Julianna said, wishing she had the answers. “Why would he say what he said if he still cares about me?”
Lilah sighed and dug her own toes into the sand. “Who knows what goes through a man’s head at any given moment. Sometimes they make such bonehead moves that they don’t even know how badly they’re digging themselves into a hole.” She brightened. “That’s why they need women — to save them from themselves.”
At that Julianna smiled a little. “You’re pretty wise. How’d you get so smart?”
Lilah sighed, the sound reflective. “Well, I grew up with a very wise grandmother and two sharp sisters. I picked up a few things here and there. And now that I’m a mom, I tend to see things more clearly.” She gestured to Julianna’s stomach. “That little precious bundle is going to change a lot of things for you. And for Boston, too.”
Julianna allowed her gaze to drift to the subtle swell that most people would miss but she’d begun to notice. Soon enough, she would really start to show and there’d be no hiding the fact. Not that she wanted to hide it. Actually, she’d started to warm to the idea. A wash of tenderness followed as she remembered the tiny heartbeat fluttering inside her. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”