Leveling The Field (Gamers #4)(7)

That was the only way to get him out of his house other than work. Grant’s daughter was a teenage baking machine. But he wasn’t in the mood tonight. He smiled at his sister. “I appreciate it, but I’m staying in tonight.”

She widened her eyes in mock surprise. “Staying in, huh? Wow, mixing it up for once.”

He shoved her shoulder gently. “Shut up.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, but if you change your mind, give me a call.”

“Will do. Thanks for the ties.”

He saw his sister out and then headed to the home gym in his basement. He pushed himself hard on the weight bench, doing bench presses. Then he ran on his treadmill for longer than he should have. After a shower to clean off the smell of sweat and iron, he heated up some leftover lasagna and parked himself in front of the TV.

He used to work out because he cared about how he looked. That his abs were defined, his pecs even, his shoulders round.

Now, he worked out because it was the one way he could punish himself physically. He upped his weights until he shook and ran on the treadmill until he almost passed out. It was one of the reasons Chloe brought him so much food. He’d lost weight in the last couple of years.

Although, he’d spent a little time in front of the mirror today—which was rare. He didn’t look at his face, but he’d studied his muscles a little, flexing his arms. He tried to look at himself through, say, that photographer’s eyes. Was he anything worth looking at anymore?

And then he felt like a tool, so he’d gotten in the shower and didn’t look in the mirror again.

On nights like this, he wondered what his parents were doing. MLB playoffs were on, and he could imagine his dad on his recliner, beer bottle in hand, a bowl of peanuts on the table beside him. Just like always.

Ethan had once been welcome there.

But not anymore. And he knew it was all his doing. Chloe insisted he could make up with their parents, but it’d been so long and the hurt ran so deep, like scarred skin that hadn’t been stitched properly. It’d never be the same or smooth again. There’d always be a divide.

He hated that his sister had placed the weight of trying to mend their family on her shoulders, but now that she no longer thought of it as her job, she was much happier.

And Ethan was happy, because she was happy.

He only wished he could say the same for himself. Instead, he sat eating leftover lasagna, missing his family, and dreading attending a wedding.

Oh, and he still couldn’t get the sight of that photographer’s big brown eyes out of his head.





Chapter Three

Ethan slid into an empty seat in the last row right as the music changed from a bland melody to the opening notes of Pachelbel’s Canon.

He straightened his blue tie and nodded at his sister, who caught his eye from five rows in front of him. She raised an eyebrow and shook her head, and he quirked his lips. Hey, no one said he had to be early.

He shifted in his seat and thumbed the program. In gray cursive it announced the marriage of Austin Rivers and Marley Lake. A light breeze blew among the gathered guests as the first bridesmaid walked down the aisle. Ethan craned his head and watched as Sydney held her bouquet out in front of her, smiling as she made her way to the end of the aisle, where Austin stood, along with Grant and Chad—Marley’s brother. The wedding was being held at a local park, and the fall leaves created a crunchy carpet under their feet.

Next was a woman Ethan didn’t recognize, but the program told him she was Marley’s cousin.

The music paused and then started up again as Marley came into view, striding across the park with an older man holding her arm. The guests stood up and cameras snapped. Tissues were pulled out as tears started. Ethan remained unmoved, yet he had to admit Marley looked gorgeous.

When the congregation sat down, Ethan eyed Austin, who watched his bride with wet eyes.

Ethan ducked his head as the naked emotion on the otherwise stoic Austin tightened his chest. Through his lashes, he looked at the back of Chloe’s head, and fisted his hand on his leg as she raised a tissue to the corner of her eye.

This would be her soon, he was sure. Grant would ask her to marry him. There’d be family events and a wedding, but Ethan knew the whole time, there would be a huge, gaping hole where Samantha should have been. His parents would give him the cold shoulder, because they didn’t talk to him anymore, not since Samantha passed.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he thought of his sister and took deep breaths so he didn’t lose his shit at the wedding. It’d been close to ten years, but he still felt nauseous when he thought of her. The last image he had of her flashed through his brain—her laughing face right before he took a corner too tight in his flashy car, wanting to show off. And then her wide eyes, her open mouth, as soon as she realized he’d lost control of the car.