Letting Go(57)

Did she care? She didn’t even know Jensen. But apparently she would come to know him and see him on a semi-regular basis now that he was partnering with Dash.

It would become public knowledge soon enough. No reason to hide her relationship with Dash. She had nothing to be ashamed of and she’d die before ever making Dash feel as though she were ashamed of him.

“We can invite him here,” she said, thinking he’d be pleased with the use of “we” instead of saying he could invite Jensen.

And in fact, he did looked pleased with her insinuation, that she’d called his home her own.

“Then I’ll call him in the morning and ask him over for drinks tomorrow evening. Will it bother you, Joss? Because I can’t pretend that I’m just setting up a tête-à-tête between two acquaintances. I can’t pretend that you aren’t mine and that you mean nothing more to me than being my best friend’s widow. If that bothers you, I need to know now because I have no intention of hiding you—us—from anyone.”

“I’m okay with it,” she said quietly. “The important people already know. I don’t care about anyone else. I won’t live my life according to what others think and say.”

He kissed her. “That means a lot to me, honey. Though, I’d understand if you needed time to adjust. I know we agreed to jump into things. It’s what you wanted and hell, it’s certainly what I want. I don’t want to wait any longer. But I’d absolutely understand if you want to keep our relationship quiet for a time. At least until you’re more settled and sure of yourself.”

She sucked in her breath. Did he think she wasn’t sure? Had she given him reason to doubt her sincerity? Or was he simply afraid that it was too good to be true?

It was hard for her to believe that she was the source of someone’s hopes and dreams. Carson had been happy with her. He’d never let a day pass that he hadn’t let her know just what she meant to him. She’d considered herself the luckiest woman alive.

Carson was . . . larger than life. Handsome. Wealthy. Extremely loving and generous. Always affectionate. He wasn’t a man who worried about what others thought. If they were together in public, he touched her frequently. Just little shows of affection. He held her hand, put an arm around her or he kissed her, giving others no doubt of his feelings for her.

Any woman would have wanted someone like Carson, and he’d wanted her. Just her. She wasn’t in his league. Didn’t come from his world, though he’d argue that his current circumstances weren’t ones he was born into. His upbringing hadn’t been good. He’d fought for every dollar he earned, the lifestyle he’d claimed. For himself and for Kylie.

His devotion to his family, to both Joss and Kylie, forever endeared Carson to Joss. He was one of a kind. How could she hope to ever find that kind of love and devotion again?

Except here was Dash. All of the things Carson was and yet . . . more. He was too perfect for her. The manifestation of every single fantasy she’d ever entertained. She hadn’t considered that there was a man in existence who could possibly meet her criteria, and yet he did.

“What will your family think?” she asked.

One of the things she and Carson had in common was that neither had family. Except Kylie. And Joss had come to think of her as her own sister. Not just a sister but her best friend. But her father had divorced her mother when Joss was young, and her mother passed away after an extended illness when Joss was still in college. Her mother was why Joss had pursued a degree in nursing.

The nurses in charge of her mother’s care had been wonderful. Compassionate, warm. They’d gone the extra mile to make Joss’s mother as comfortable as possible in her final days, and Joss had vowed she would make the same difference in someone’s life.

Yet she’d quit her job after marrying Carson. At the time she hadn’t minded. She’d been in the throes of a new relationship and utterly confident in their marriage. And the truth was, she’d craved the kind of relationship where she was cared for. Protected. Cherished. Carson had provided all the things she desired. Except dominance.

Perhaps she should consider going back to nursing. She’d kept up her training for that eventuality, but she still hadn’t taken steps to go back to work.

“My family will be very happy for me,” Dash said. “My brothers thought me a fool for waiting as long as I did. They’ve known how I felt about you for a long time. My mother worried for me. She thought I was a fool to have a thing for a married woman. And not just any married woman, but a woman married to my best friend and business partner. Talk about a recipe for disaster,” he said wryly.