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Letting Go(43)

By:Maya Banks


“Fair enough.”

“Now, to get to my expectations. Or rules if you want to call them that. I prefer to consider them requests. Requests that you will choose whether to agree to or not. But I want you to have a very clear picture of what will go on between us because I want you to have the opportunity to back away. It’s not what I want. I hope to fuck you want the same things I do. But there’s only one way to find out. Lay out the ground rules and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay. I’m ready, Dash. Don’t hold back any longer. I’m dying over here because I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to do. I’m so afraid of making a mistake. Of disappointing not only you but myself.”

His smile was exquisitely tender. It made her feel so very warm on the inside where she’d been cold for so very long.

“You won’t disappoint me. I don’t believe it’s possible. The only way you’ll disappoint me is if you walk away without giving us a fair chance. I’m not saying it’s going to be all roses and sunshine in the beginning. There will be adjustments we both have to make. Compromises. But together I think we can overcome any obstacle to our relationship.”

“You say the most wonderful things,” she said in an aching voice. “I don’t know how you’re able to see to the heart of me, how you can know so much about me when I know so little myself.”

He stroked his hand over her cheek and then through her hair to twist the loose strands.

“Rule number one, and these are in no particular order. So bear with me while I get to them all. And be patient. I know you’ll have questions, but try to save them until the end when I’m finished outlining the guidelines. Then, once I’ve covered all the bases, you can ask any questions you want. Anything you don’t understand we’ll talk about. I’ll be as honest as I can possibly be with you, Joss. Even if I worry the truth will frighten or intimidate you.”

“Then tell me,” she said simply. “I’m listening, Dash. I won’t interrupt or question you until you’re finished. No matter how hard that may be,” she added ruefully.

“Okay then, the first is that when you are here with me, in this house and we’re alone, I want you naked unless I tell you otherwise. Starting now, or rather when we’re finished going over my expectations.”

Her eyes widened but she kept her promise and bit her lip to prevent her immediate objection.

“Second, when I tell you to do something, I expect instant, unconditional obedience. You may not understand why I ask you to do what I ask, but I expect you to trust me and at least be willing to try.”

She nodded. That didn’t sound too hard, although she had no idea what those requests would be. Part of her anticipated the unknown. The other part of her was terrified. She hated not knowing exactly what she was walking into or agreeing to.

“I don’t expect you to kneel in my presence unless I request it. The only time I want you to kneel is if I summon you. Then I’d like you to kneel, with your arms resting on your thighs, palms splayed upward. This is a standard position of submissiveness. Thighs open so that no part of you isn’t accessible to me or my gaze. The only other time is when I return from work or if I’m away for any reason, when I return, I’d like for you to be in the living room, on your knees, waiting for me. I want you to be the very first thing I see when I walk through my door. I want a reason to want to come home, and if you’re here, waiting for me, believe me, sweetheart, it’s what I’ll want more than anything. You, waiting, my reward after a long day.”

She got the impression this was important to Dash. Something he enjoyed and craved. And if that was the case, she wanted to do it for him. She wanted to please him and bring him happiness. She never wanted to disappoint him. She had too much pride for that. No, she may not have the experience other women he’d been with had, but that wasn’t going to prevent her from doing her damn best to be the most desirable submissive he’d ever had a relationship with.

There were no half measures for her. From the moment she’d decided to embark on this new lifestyle and explore her sexuality and her needs, she’d known that she’d throw herself completely into it. No holding back of anything. She’d give wholly and unreservedly of herself and hope that the man she was with would appreciate the gift she gave. And nothing in Dash’s words had given her any reason to doubt that he would most certainly cherish and protect her gift of submission.

“When I issue a command, I expect instant obedience. No hesitation. No questions. I want you to trust me to take you to a place you’ll enjoy and feel safe in. I’ll never ask you to do something that I think you’d object to. That doesn’t mean I won’t push you out of your comfort zone. But as I mentioned earlier, the further we get into this, the faster I’ll learn what your boundaries are and I’ll never purposely cross them unless it’s something we discuss and agree to try.”