Letting Go(42)
“I think that’s a damn good idea. Let’s go inside. I’ll get your things later. I want to get you settled in. I want you to be comfortable here, Joss. I want you to consider this . . . home.”
He tugged her inside, a wave of cooler air washing over her, removing the heat from her cheeks.
She’d been to Dash’s many times, but she’d never ventured beyond the living room, the kitchen or the guest bathroom. He led her through the living room and up the stairs to the master bedroom.
A prickle of awareness tingled up her spine as she took in the masculine feel to his bedroom. The bed was huge with a multitude of pillows. It was a four-poster, and she hadn’t imagined him to like that kind of furniture. It almost seemed feminine, something a woman would have in her bedroom.
“What are you thinking?” he queried.
She glanced up and then smiled. “Silly thoughts. I was looking at your bed and thinking that it seemed incongruous with what I know about you. I would have never imagined you having a four-poster.”
A gleam entered his eyes and amusement quirked his lips. “I need something to tie my woman to. It’s only natural that I’d have the proper equipment for the job.”
Heat flooded her cheeks once more. She had to be bright red. Then came the realization that she wouldn’t be the only woman in this bed. It shouldn’t bother her, but it did. Dash owed her no explanations for his past sex life. She’d been married, for God’s sake. She certainly couldn’t have expected him to remain celibate when he didn’t think he’d ever have a chance with her.
“What the hell are you thinking now?” he demanded.
“More silliness,” she murmured.
“And?”
He wasn’t going to let it go, and hell, she was honest to a fault, much to her detriment.
She sighed. “I was thinking about the other women who’ve been in your bed—this bed,” she said unhappily. “Stupid, I know. But it bothers me.”
Dash turned her so she faced him and he gripped her shoulders, holding her directly in his line of vision.
“There haven’t been any women here, Joss. Not here. I won’t say there haven’t been other women, but I didn’t bring them here. I couldn’t. Maybe before Carson died, I may have gotten to that point, but after? I couldn’t bring myself to even form a relationship. Not when I was so set on you.”
“I don’t even know what to say,” she whispered. “It shouldn’t mean so much, but it does, Dash. It means a lot that there hasn’t been anyone for a while.”
He leaned toward her and kissed her forehead. “It means a lot that there hasn’t been anyone for you since Carson. I was afraid that by waiting so long, by waiting to declare my intentions as long as I did, that I would lose you to another man.”
She wrinkled her nose. “How do you know there haven’t been other men?”
He grinned. “I would have known, Joss. You may not have seen me every day, but I checked up on you. I was watching. And waiting.”
She harrumphed but smiled, touched by the fact he’d been there. Waiting. For her.
He walked her backward until the backs of her legs bumped the edge of the bed. Then he lowered her down until she was perched on the edge. Once she was sitting, he gathered her hands in his and knelt in front of her.
Now, granted she didn’t know everything about dominance and submission, but didn’t he have all this backward? Shouldn’t she be in the position of subservience to him? Not the other way around!
“What are you doing, Dash?” she asked quietly. “Shouldn’t I be the one kneeling for you?”
He smiled, squeezing her hands in his. “Darling Joss. I’m at your feet, literally. I admit it’s not a position I normally find myself in. But with you all the rules change. I wanted to put us on more equal footing for the discussion to come. And perhaps I wanted to humble myself to you to make a point.”
“What point?” she asked curiously.
“That for all the power you cede to me, in fact, it’s you who holds all the power in this relationship we’re embarking on. That may sound contradictory, but it’s absolutely true. You hold all the cards. You’re in the driver’s seat. Because it’s you who decides whether to give me your submission. It takes a strong, confident woman to hand over control to her partner. And the thing is, yes, you are submitting to me, but my desire to please you far outweighs my desire to dominate and control you. Does that make sense?”
She nodded. “I suppose. I just never thought of it in that light.”
“Consider it now,” he directed. “And listen to everything I’m about to tell you. I’m going to lay out the rules, though I hate that word. There are no rules between us, honey. No hard-and-fast guidelines. What we do, I want us to enjoy. I want to bring you pleasure and I want you to please me. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. One I hope we both find happiness in.”