Let It Snow(70)

Jake moaned and surrendered to his own climax, grateful that he had been able to wait. Happy that he had been able to do that for her. He’d needed to share that with her. It felt significant to him. It felt like it meant something.

When their bodies had exhausted themselves and he looked up and into her eyes, he could see that he was not the only one who felt that what had just happened between them had been significant. Tessa did not say anything, but her eyes said it all. He’d always been able to read her like an open book, and this had meant something to her. It was significant.

A little voice in the back of his head popped up. But…does it mean that she will stay?

He pushed the thought from his mind. He didn’t want to ruin the present moment with worries about the future. He had wasted too much time doing that. Instead, he simply kissed her softly, held her, and enjoyed the knowledge that—for tonight at least—he was falling asleep while holding the woman he loved in his arms.





Chapter Twenty-Three




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Tessa could feel Jake’s eyes on her as she sat in the passenger’s seat of his SUV, headed to Gran’s memorial service. She still couldn’t believe that Jake had put this together in just the short time she’d been back. She’d been totally shocked when he’d told her about it yesterday. He said that the town needed to say goodbye, too. Tessa couldn’t get over how amazing Jake was being. After how long she’d been gone.

She stared out the window, pretending to be even more lost in thought than she actually was because she simply didn’t have the emotional strength to deal with saying goodbye to her grandmother and to deal with anything Jake-related on the same day.

Of course, there were a couple of issues with that statement, she realized. First of all, she had ‘said goodbye’ to her grandmother months ago—hell, if not years ago. So in that respect, it didn’t really make sense that she was so emotional today. But who said emotions have to make sense? When she had dealt with her grandmother’s passing before, it had been a highly personal thing. It had been a solitary grieving. The only people who’d even known she had been going through it or sympathized with her were her roommate and the staff who had been taking care of her Gran. Although they, of course, had felt bad for what she’d been going through, they had not known her Gran. Not really. Not when Gran had actually been Gran.

Today was different. Today was when a lot of people who loved Grandma Adie– really, truly knew her and loved her—were going to stand up and grieve for her right along with Tessa. Tessa knew that she should be grateful that her Gran had been so well-loved, and she was—seriously, she was. Still, there was a little part of her that selfishly wished that she didn’t have to go through this today. It was going to hurt like hell.

Tessa shook her head a little to herself as she looked out the window at the beautiful pine trees they were passing. She knew that the pain wasn’t the worst part. What Tessa was really afraid of was that today’s service was going to make Adeline’s death seem real.

Tessa sucked in a breath as that epiphany hit her. Damn. That was it. That was the core of it. She’d recognized it as soon as the thought had occurred to her.

There was a tiny corner of her mind that clung to the thought of Gran alive, in a different place or something. As if Tessa were just off on a photo assignment and would pop in to visit her after she got home. Of course, that idea wasn’t rational, but it wasn’t a rational part of her mind that harbored it.

And that was the real issue. That was why today was so hard—Tessa was afraid that going to the memorial service was going to shatter that one, tiny, last remaining illusion she had that she would ever see her Gran again.

She felt tears dropping into her lap and was surprised. She hadn’t even realized that she had been welling up. Jake, who had not stopped giving her long and concerned glances since she had climbed into the SUV—longer, in fact, than what was probably safe while driving!—reached over and squeezed her hand.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” he asked, his warm brown eyes melting her heart.

“I’m fine,” she assured him, realizing even as she said it that her shaky tone of voice belied the certainty that her words implied.

Jake just smiled at her sympathetically. She sighed. It was a great smile. It was a smile that made her want to tell him to stop the car, pull over, forget the memorial service, and just curl up in his arms and stay there—forever.

She turned her head and stared resolutely out the passenger’s side window as they pulled into the church parking lot—not sure how she was going to get through this. There had been so much going on since she had been back. Physically and emotionally exhausted, she was running on empty.