Instead of trying to spin it through her deeply embedded glass-half-full filter or give in to the woe-is-me emotional wave she was riding at the moment, she decided to go the “just the facts, ma’am” Joe Friday Dragnet route. “Well the last six years have been a challenge. Gran’s dementia progressed rapidly. She was initially misdiagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but within a few months, they changed her diagnosis to vascular dementia.” Tessa let out a forced laugh, “Which is basically all the fun of Alzheimer’s with the added bonus of strokes.
“I took her out of the retirement home she’d moved into after leaving Hope Falls and tried to care for her at home. I stopped traveling, gave up my position at Time, and didn’t take on any freelance work that took me out of Southern California. I hired two nurses to care for her in shifts when I was on a shoot. That lasted for a while. Up until the night I woke up to find that she’d walked right out the front door and it took us four hours to find her. I knew then I was not equipped to care for her.”
Tessa sniffed and felt Jake’s large hand cover hers where it rested on the center console. As much as she appreciated the comforting gesture, she didn’t want him to feel sorry for her. She’d managed.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, sadness filling his voice as he brushed his hand over hers.
She shook her head and pulled her lips up into a smile. “It’s fine. It took three different assisted living homes before I found one that I was happy with the care she received. So for the last few years I just worked locally. Weddings mostly. I sold my condo and moved in with a roommate, and if I wasn’t working, I spent my time at Ocean Gardens with Gran.”
“Where are your parents? Didn’t they help?” Jake asked.
Tessa looked out the window. She didn’t want him to see the tears that were forming in her eyes. “After Germany, Dad retired and they decided to move to Belgium. They call on my birthday and Christmas, but other than that, I don’t hear from them.”
“Damn, Tessa, I’m so sorry.” Jake’s voice, his touch, all should have been a comfort, but somehow were just making her feel more alone. Because she knew that she couldn’t get used to it.
This time in Hope Falls was just a small reprieve from her life. A hiatus. A vacation from reality. She needed to remember that.
Chapter Seventeen
‡
Jake could see Tessa yawning out of the corner of his eye. He knew that the right thing to do, the gentlemanly thing to do, would be to take her home. But he didn’t want to. And if that made him a selfish prick, he decided he could live with that.
Tonight had been one of the best nights he could ever remember having. After Tessa had opened up to him on the way over, he’d made it his personal mission to make sure that she had a night where she could just be. So they’d ordered a pizza and played with Lucky, and now were now lounging on the couch, watching movies.
And as hard—literally and figuratively!—as it was to be near her and not touch her, kiss her, make love to her, tonight had reminded Jake of the other reason that he’d been so devastated when Tessa had disappeared from his life. He’d not only lost the girl he loved more than life itself, he’d lost his best friend too.
Tessa was hilarious and smart. She always called him on his shit. The optimistic way she looked at life was contagious.
“Oh my gosh,” Tessa said as another—loud—yawn escaped her. She lifted her hands over her head and moaned as she stretched like a cat. Her back arched, and with her hands raised, the hem of her shirt pulled up, revealing the fair skin on her stomach. Lowering her arms, she snuggled into the corner of the couch and tucked socked feet underneath her. “I can’t stop yawning.”
“Because you’re exhausted,” Jake said, pointing out the obvious.
A smile appeared on her face as her big blue eyes peeked up under dark lashes, looking over her shoulder at him. “Ya think?”
Damn, she was so cute. Jake wasn’t sure what he was going to do when she left again, but right now he was really enjoying the fact that she was here. In his condo. Beside him. And he knew that it would be all kinds of bad if he touched her the way he really wanted to, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t touch her at all.
“Come here,” he said as he grabbed a throw pillow that was beside him and placed it on his lap.
Her eyes widened, and for the first time tonight, she didn’t seem completely calm and relaxed. She probably had no idea what his intentions were. And to be honest, he wasn’t totally clear on them himself. Jake just knew he needed to touch her.