Her head snapped up and her eyes locked with his. Their bodies were mere inches apart. A flush rose up her cheeks, eyes dilating as she whispered, “Jake?”
“Why did you come here?” His tone held a dangerous edge to it.
“I told you, to go over my grandm—”
“Here,” he snapped, “to see me.”
Her lip quivered, either at his harsh tone or the question itself. Tears began filling her eyes. She stared up at him and she looked…lost. The sight of her vulnerability and pain melted some of the solid ice that encased his heart that she herself had caused.
“Never mind.” He opened the door. It didn’t matter anyways. Nothing she could say would change the last thirteen years.
She stayed where she ways. Looking down to the ground, she took in a quivering breath and swallowed hard. A sad smile appeared on her face, and when she looked back at him, she shrugged as a single tear fell down her soft, smooth cheek. “I just… I just felt… I needed to… I thought…I wanted to…”
She was killing him. Watching her like this felt like someone was twisting a knife in his stomach. He wanted so badly to reach out and wrap his arms around her. Pull her close to him and hold her there. Forever. His jaw clenched and his hands fisted at his sides. “Just forget it.”
Shaking her head, she wiped the tears from underneath her eyes and took in a deep breath. As she looked up at him with a renewed sense of determination, Jake felt like he could see all the way to her soul. “For a really long time, nothing in my life has made any sense. And then today…I just”—she sniffed and her breath caught in her throat—“wanted to come see you…to look in your eyes. You’re what makes sense to me.”
Jake saw more tears falling down her face before she turned and hurried out the door. He stood motionless, staring in front of him at the spot she’d just stood moments before.
He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Her words filled his mind, causing a fog of confusion and frustration to settle over him.
He was what made sense to her?! What the fuck does that mean?
Raking his hands through his hair, he stalked back over to his desk. He sat down and closed his eyes. Whatever was going on with Tessa—why she was here, why her life hadn’t made sense, the pain in her eyes—none of it had anything to do with Jake.
They weren’t together. They weren’t even friends. She wasn’t his. Even if it still felt like she was.
Chapter Seven
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Tessa’s day was not going well. But trying to be positive, she had to admit that the silver lining of the day was that she’d parked in the back of the fire station. So she’d been able to slip out the back door and get into the safety and privacy of her car without an audience of fire fighters witnessing her embarrassing outburst of emotions. She really didn’t want it to start circulating around town that she’d left Jake’s office bawling like a baby. Even if she wasn’t going to be in town much longer, she would like to leave with at least a shred of dignity.
As she drove down Main Street and headed back to Sue Ann’s, she got a text. It was from Henry and it said that Lauren would meet her at her grandma’s house at three o’clock. It was only noon. She had a few hours to kill, and without even consciously thinking about it, she turned down Bluebird Road to the one place she’d missed almost as much as she’d missed Jake.
Jake.
Her entire adult life, Tessa had tried to convince herself that what she’d felt for him had just been teenage infatuation. Puppy love. That the reason her feelings and their connection had felt so intense was because they hadn’t been dealing with real life yet. All of their energy and passion had solely been focused on each other.
Now, seeing Jake again as an adult while she was smack dab in the middle of “real life,” disproved what she’d been trying to brainwash herself into believing. Which meant that, when she left here, she would go with the absolute knowledge that what she had felt with Jake was one hundred percent the real thing. She had not only loved him, but she was still hopelessly in love with him.
Also, the connection they’d shared was still so strong that she knew, just knew, he had to feel it too. But when she looked in his eyes, she had seen how angry he was with her. Which, in all fairness, he had every right to be. Tessa knew he would never forgive her, and she would never dream of asking him to.
But being back here, seeing Jake again, still single, no kids… It made her question whether or not she’d done the right thing all those years ago. Had she made the right decision for both of their lives? At the time, it had seemed like the only option—if she’d truly loved him, which she had, she’d had to let him go. So he could be happy. But now? Now she just wasn’t sure.