He paused to take a sip of his drink as the moment replayed in his mind. It was times like this he cursed his photographic memory. The images were just as fresh as the day it had occurred.#p#分页标题#e#
“She was young, blonde, and eager to learn. At first, the age difference didn’t bother me. She was a woman in search of knowledge, and I was indulging her. The first time we met she was un-collared and curious. So when she asked for a demonstration I agreed.”
“What did she want a demonstration of?” Sutton asked.
He cringed mentally as he glanced up and met her gaze. “Flogging.”
Her eyes widened, but he was relieved to find them free of censure.
“I started her off with a light round of gentle swats. She came alive underneath the leather tassels, and I knew she had the potential to make someone a great sub.”
“Is that what changed your mind?”
“No, she was very green, and I wasn’t. Newbies in general are a risk to invest your time in because they’re basically auditioning the lifestyle to see if it suits them. When you add youth on top of it, the odds of them walking away after you’ve put your time and effort into them dramatically increase. Traditionally, I prefer to play with a more experienced woman who’s been in the life for awhile.”
“Because they know the rules?” Sutton asked.
“Partially, but more so because they understand themselves, what they like, where their limitations lie, and what direction they want to travel in. It makes my job as a Dom easier to perform. ”
“You seem like the type of man who likes a challenge.”
“Sometimes,” he said. “Certainly, that was the case when it came to you.”
“Why?”
“Because your responses were the most raw and natural I had ever seen.”
“How can you say that? Isn’t that why you were with this girl?”
“Her name was Christine, and what I have yet to mention is, she was an actress. After our session at the party she pursued me. It was flattering, of course, but I resisted for months.”
“Why?”
“Because there’s nothing worse than an old man whose been made out to be fool by a younger woman. Also, what she said she was looking for didn’t match what I believed I had in me to give.”
Sidney’s gut twisted into knots as he took the leap and opened up to Sutton for the first time. “After a few failed attempts at a relationship as a youth, I figured they weren’t for me. BDSM offered me an alternative. I was providing someone with what they wanted, but there was no deep emotional connection. I didn’t have to meet parents, or go to dinners with friends.” He could see the confusion in her face as she frowned.
“We’re nothing like that.”
“Not all BDSM relationships are like the one we have now, and I was always careful to seek out like-minded partners. We were friends who fulfilled a need for one another, and that was as far as it went.”
“Why would you want to live like that, Sidney?”
This was the moment he’d been dreading. When he laid everything out on the line and waited for her response.
“I had a horrible example of relationships growing up. My father was an alcoholic who liked to beat my mother and terrorized my sisters and me. From the moment I hit my growth spurt at eleven, it became my duty to protect them. I think the experience fostered my need to be in control of things, as well as my interest in the study of human behavior.”
“Oh my God, Sidney, I’m so sorry.” Her eyes were warm and filled with sympathy, but no pity. That he could handle.
“It’s the past now, and I’m honest enough to admit, my mother should have left, but it’s just not what you do where we come from.”#p#分页标题#e#
“What made Christine so different from everyone before her?”
“Looking back on it now I think it was just time to take a chance combined with the fact that she wore me down. After six months of saying no, my mind began to wonder what if. I’m not a man who lives his life with regrets, so I agreed to a trial period. Thirty days to see if we were could meet in the middle and find common ground.”
“It’s obvious you must have,” Sutton said.
“We did. She brought out a protective instinct in me that allowed her to work her way under my skin. She had some issues being bratty, but I saw it as a challenge that would push me to become a better Dom.”
“Bratty how?”
“Christine purposely disobeyed my orders, and did what she could to test my boundaries, and get a rise out of me, or in her words when she left, attempt to.” Bitterness rose inside of him as he scowled. “For three years things were great. I thought she was the one, and I bought a ring.” Sidney rushed ahead when Sutton gasped. If he stopped now he would never get all the words out. It still burned him that he had been played so easily. “I came home early from work, ready to propose, and found her moving her things out of the house.”