[Legacy Of The Force] - 08(75)

Ben hadn’t been expecting to unleash the floodgates. While a hug and tears didn’t feel soppy or embarrassing now, complete baring of souls was another matter. He didn’t realize Luke had taken the comment to heart and fretted over it. He was mortified; he’d burdened his father at a time when it was the last thing he needed. He should have kept it to himself.

“I don’t know what to say, Dad.”

“You were everything to your mom.” Luke just sat there, nodded as if he’d answered a question Ben hadn’t heard, and started up the swoop bike again. They lifted clear of the grass and shot off. “Rightly so.”

It had to be now. Ben had to say it, but it would have been better to look into Dad’s face than stare at the back of his head. “I saw Mom on Kavan. I mean I saw her. Not like thinking you see someone in a crowd. She was a Force ghost. She spoke to me.”

Luke’s knuckles were white as he gripped the steering vanes. “What did she say?”

“She said she loved me.”

“Yeah, she would. What did you say to her?”

“Same.”

“You feel any easier now?”

Go on. If you can’t be totally open with your father now, when can you be?

“Have you seen her, Dad? I didn’t want to say in case you felt-ignored. No, that’s the wrong word…”

“No, I haven’t seen her. But that’s okay. The Force gives us what we need. I’ve learned that.”

Luke didn’t say anything else. Ben struggled not to think of Jacen, because all he could do was rage silently; how could have done this to Dad? How could he have made him suffer so much? If Jacen had wanted to destroy Luke Skywalker, killing Mom was the way. It was worse than killing Luke himself. And Dad knew that, and yet he didn’t let it finish him or change what he believed in. So Ben drew strength and example from that, and when he had these backsliding moments of angry, chest-crushing grief, as he probably always would, he reminded himself that this was why Dad always knew what was right, and why Jacen either didn’t know or didn’t care. It was that start of the fork in the road, one atom’s deviation that became two and then four and then diverged into different roads and then to different worlds. It was that baseline of right that Ben and Luke had just talked about. It was every new moment when you had to ask: Is the next thing I’m going to do right, or is it wrong?

It was a hair’s width of a gap, and yet repeated with each breath, in each being, it became a chasm wide enough to swallow a galaxy.

I don’t know why Jacen did it. I don’t even have one hundred percent proof. No point getting more upset about motive. Stay objective. Stay with the facts.

Luke headed into the approach to the old Imperial outpost. Ben could now see two StealthXs being towed into launch positions and milling activity through the screen of trees and vines; loyal ground crew who had abandoned everything they had on Coruscant to keep the Jedi squadron operational-droids, pilots, stewards, even the occasional Ewok party ferrying rustic packing crates out of sight.

Ben walked around the landing gear of the nearest StealthX and rehearsed how he’d recount the mission with Shevu to his father.

“We voted to evacuate to a less accessible planet, “Luke said. “Depending on how Fondor goes.”

“More remote than Endor? That’ll take some doing.”

“Less findable. The Mists. Han and Leia really know how to pick a hideaway.”

“Good move. How much time do I have to collate my evidence before we deploy to Fondor, then?” Jag was wandering in their direction, hands thrust deep in his pockets. Ben patted his jacket. “I don’t want to have to take the forensics droid around with me just in case. Losing evidence is…”

“You’re not coming on the Fondor mission, Ben.”

Usually-or at least until recently-Ben would have launched into an argument about why he wouldn’t stay behind and how much Luke needed him, because he didn’t want to miss anything. Now he had just felt a pang of alarm at yet another separation from his father, but his gut said Do what he needs you to do. He listened.

“Okay, Dad.”

Luke waited a moment and then smiled, as if he’d been expecting the wrangling to start, too. “I’m not cosseting you, you know that. This is for operational reasons. Not protecting the boss’s son.”

“Understood. What do you want me to do while you’re gone?” And you’re coming back. “Have you an estimate of how long you’re committing the StealthXs?”

“I want you to plan the evacuation so that we’re ready to hit the button and go at a moment’s notice. I’m leaving at least half the Jedi pilots here, too.”