Then she turned, tugged at a lock of her hair, and he read her lips: Love you too, Ben.
And she was gone.
Ben could hear only his hammering pulse now. His scalp felt stretched tight across his skull, and he couldn’t move. “Ben?” Shevu called. “Ben, are you okay?”
Get a grip. “Did you see anything?”
“You don’t look so good.”
“Did you see anything?”
“No, there’s nothing here that I can see that was missed the first time, and if there was…. it’s weeks ago, and it’s gone.” He caught Ben’s shoulders with both hands. “You look terrible. Come on, let’s sit you down in the transport. Get your bearings again.”
Ben knew that Shevu thought he was overcome by his memories. Shevu hadn’t seen Mom, and Ben had no idea how to tell him that he had. Bereaved people saw their loved ones everywhere they looked when the loss was fresh, and that was probably the explanation, except she’d looked at him, and her gestures had been so clear; and she’d spoken, even though he couldn’t hear the sound. He didn’t know much about Force ghosts-nobody did-but that weird bluish haze… if his brain had been playing tricks on him, he’d have seen her as he remembered her, not with stuff he didn’t understand added to it all.
She came back. She came back to tell me.
“I’m…. fine, “he said.
He thought desperately. He had to grab this while it was still vivid and every detail was fresh. The hair. Why had she torn out hairs from her head? Why had she appeared to him here? Why here? Why not back on Endor, or at home? If she could contact him like that, why didn’t she just tell him Jacen killed her?
Did she even know who killed her? She could have been ambushed. And then why didn’t she know now, now that she was one with the Force-but Ben stopped there. He was off chasing the nebulous world of ghosts, when he needed evidence in the mundane world to show everyone.
“Ben, I’ve got a flask of caf. Nice hot cup will make you feel better.”
Why here? Because we’re doing an investigation. She was telling him hair was significant.
“Lon, “he said, “when people fight, they leave all kinds of traces on each other, don’t they?”
“Yes, but it’s too late to ask for swabs from Jacen. And do Jedi actually land punches?”
“No, but…”
“Stang.” Shevu was furious. Something had occurred to him, and he was angry with someone, or maybe even him” self. “Stang, the StealthX. We didn’t test the StealthX. In CSF, we’d normally go over that with a fine-tooth comb as a matter of course…”
“Nobody thought it was Jacen at the time. Nobody thought that there might have been anything to look for anyway, because we don’t fight like non-Force-users. And…”
“What would we be looking for?” Shevu asked. “Come on, Ben, what’s on your mind?”
Ben swallowed. “Hair. Mom’s hair.”
“Could she ever have flown in Jacen’s StealthX? If we find anything, is there any other way it could have ended up there apart from being transferred on his clothing? I know she came to see him at GAG HQ, but did they have any contact outside work that would have led to transfer?”
“Not that I know.”
“Then we’ve got to go for that, Ben.”
“How are we going to get a chance to go over the thing? And he’s had weeks to clean the cockpit.”
“We’ll think of something.” Shevu looked torn between staying and doing more searching while they had the light, and heading back home. “If we come up empty, fine, but I’m not leaving that stone unturned. Come on.”
They retrieved the droid and took off toward the hyperspace lane. A hundred times on the journey back, Ben shut his eyes to replay that memory of his mother and saw her lips moving.
Love you too, Ben.
Too. She’d heard him. She’d heard, seen, sensed, whatever-but she knew he’d said he loved her. He burst into tears and sobbed until his abdominal muscles ached.
“Sorry, “he said at last, wiping his face on his sleeve. “I’m a bit crazy.”
“Your mother was murdered, “Shevu said quietly. “You’re entitled to go as crazy as you like.”
Ben wondered whether to tell Shevu about the appari-tion, but thought better of it. Later, maybe. He might not even tell his dad for a while. He didn’t know how. But he’d call him and let him know where he was as soon as they dropped back out of hyperspace. He missed Luke, and couldn’t imagine why he’d spent so much effort in the past trying to escape his attention. He cherished every second with him now.