Jaina was still aware of Venku wandering around the hill, keeping an eye on the two of them. She couldn’t see him. But he was there.
“This is about me and Jacen, “she said at last. “And you could have stopped him, any of you, if you’d united against him. One Sith can’t stand against hundreds of Jedi. Your problem is that he’s your own flesh and blood, and none of you have had the courage to do the job. You’ve been hoping that he’ll see the light and stop so that you don’t have to do the dirty work. How many ordinary beings have died while you made excuses for him because he’s family?”
“I know. Okay, I know.” Jaina’s gut twisted with guilt again. Yes, if Jacen had been any other Sith with Jacen’s track record, she’d have cut him down without a second thought. Had anyone tried to redeem Palpatine, or that apprentice of his on Naboo? No. But Vader…. Vader had turned out to be family. Uncle Luke had bothered to look for the good in him. “You’re going to give me the speech about no attachment, aren’t you?”
Gotab turned to face her and smiled. The light was failing. He still seemed to have a luminosity about him, the sweetness of great age, despite the harshness of his words. “Attachment-and you inevitably use your powers to serve your own family, or in your case…. you fail to use them, “he said. “Avoid attachment-and you become an enactor of ritual, a sterile creature unable to truly understand love and sacrifice. There’s no easy answer for a Force-user except rigid self-control, and I do not mean avoiding the dark side. I mean not using the Force at all.” “That’s not going to help anyone stop Jacen becoming a galactic tyrant.”
“Lovely job title, that. Galactic Tyrant wanted-apply within.”
“You’re mocking me.” “You want to know what I would do in your position.”
“Yes.”
“I’d kill him, out of love.”
The reply shocked Jaina because she felt it. He meant it. He wasn’t serene; he was full of swirling passions, with hints of darkness in there somewhere, but he’d loved deeply, and still did. It was vivid within him. “I can’t avoid this, can I?” she said. “It’s a lot more common than you think. People kill the one they love all the time. The motive can be anything, but in the end… you end the life you would’ve done anything to preserve, and then…. then, you go on living. You can kill out of jealousy, passion, revenge, mercy, duty, justice, greed, carelessness. How many people have you killed in combat? In war? More than one, I’ll bet. You didn’t love those people, but they’re no less dead, so the only difference is how you square it with your conscience each day. We’re talking about selfishness here-how will I feel? How will Jaina feel?”
“And the rest of my family…”
“Oh, sorry. I thought we were talking about the welfare of the galaxy. How foolish of me.” “Mind my asking why you killed?” “Duty, fear, animal survival, and protecting those I loved. Mostly, to eat.” Gotab looked at her and nodded. “It’s about all living beings, don’t forget that. Not just the ones we recognize as our own kind.”
It wasn’t getting any clearer for Jaina. “I thought I’d made up my mind so many times, but Mirta brought me up short today. My brother killed her mother, and she still begged me not to kill him, just in case I was wrong.” “And what if you let him live, and you’re wrong?” Jaina shut her eyes. She could sense Venku still taking a slow walk around the perimeter, a little irritable, growing impatient. The two men didn’t live around here. They came down into Keldabe from the remote north, the Oyu’baat regulars said. Even Mandalorians didn’t drop in on them for a cup of caf and a chat.
“They call me the Sword of the Jedi, “Jaina said. “That’s supposed to be my destiny. It’s odd how these prophecies start to make sense when it’s too late.”
“Or maybe you’re importing meaning into it that isn’t there.”
“What do you think?”
“A sword is a symbol of justice in many cultures, Jaina. Real justice is blind, and personal feelings don’t matter.”
But it wasn’t about justice: she could suddenly see that. It wasn’t so much about what Jacen had done as what he would do in the future-cause the deaths of many more beings. There was no possibility that he would stop of his own accord. There was no intellectual or ethical argument about this. It was simply about a continuing threat to life.
She realized Gotab was staring into her face. If they didn’t activate a glowstick soon, they’d be sitting in the dark. But they didn’t need to see each other’s faces to know what was going on in their heads.