Fett clipped his helmet onto his belt, feeling it tapping against the small of his back as he moved. It was a strange sensation, like someone trying to get his attention. “Ready when you are, Admiral.”
“It’s Natasi, “she said. “Natasi Daala. A good old Re-natasian name.”
Keldabe had seen him without the helmet often enough now. Nobody would turn a hair, not about the helmet-and not about Admiral Daala.
BRALSIN, MANDALORE: NEXT DAY
“I knew you couldn’t leave it alone, “said Gotab.
It was early evening, and a haze was settling over the Ke-lita valley in the distance. Jaina helped the old man sit down on a smooth-worn outcrop of pale gray granite. Close-cropped grass ringed by stones large enough to sit on lent the spot the air of a small arena. Gotab laid his helmet down and shut his eyes, facing into the breeze as if to savor it on his face.
“I need guidance, “Jaina said.
“Fett’s still too busy…. discussing vital commercial is-sues with Admiral Daala, then.”
“It’s not Fett’s experience I need. It’s yours.” What she said next would either shape the galaxy’s future, or make Gotab walk off in disgust. “I need to hear this from a Jedi.”
“Former Jedi. You’ve got the whole Jedi Council to ask, Jaina. I bet they answer your comm right away.”
“Maybe, but none of them have seen the galaxy from both sides. I haven’t ever spoken to a Jedi who walked away from the Order but who wasn’t a Sith.”
“I didn’t just walk away from the Order-I didn’t exercise Right of Denial. I stopped being a Jedi.” Gotab laughed. “I know the dark side, too. I lived alongside it for too many years, and I can’t say that it was always a bad thing. But you’re right, I’m no Sith. I’m just a man.”
“Do you think of yourself as Gotab?” Jaina looked over her shoulder, knowing Venku was around somewhere.
“In a way. It just means engineer. I was always good at fixing things. And people.” He took out his lightsaber and held the hilt in his palm, hefting it. “My name used to be Bardan Jusik, but I stopped using my second name in case it got me killed after the Purge. In private, to everyone who matters to me, I’m just Bard’ika.”
“Do you have a family?”
“Yes. But I know what you’re really asking. Did I father more little Mandalorian Force-users, and train them as some kind of armored Jedi? No. I had plenty of adopted sons to look after-and daughters. My wife, may she find rest in the manda, thought it was for the best.”
“You could have had children via a donor. Clinics can do clever things.”
“Mando’ade adopt. I chose the finest family a man could have. Why would we have wanted to conceive a child by donor?”
Gotab-Bard’ika-hadn’t struggled to his feet to storm off, nor had he rounded on her. His impression in the Force was relaxed and a little sad, in a bittersweet kind of way that Jaina envied; it was as if he was looking back on a substantially happy life that had nevertheless had its moments of grief. She was trying hard to stay detached from emotions at the moment, because if she felt the good things in life-and there still seemed to be many-then she also felt the pain that reminded her that Mara was dead, that Jacen was responsible, and that Jaina had sworn to deal with the problem. Things were fine as long as she held those events at bay, and stared at them as if they were a disturbing holovid. The moment she let them slip past her guard and merge with reality, they were almost too agonizing to bear. “I’ve got a terrible choice to make, “she said. “I have to stop my brother. I think I’m the only one who can. Mirta Gev, of all people, begged me to think twice about killing him and to leave him to someone else. There is no one else.” “Not even Master Luke Skywalker? My, my. So this one’s bigger than Palpatine, is he?”
“You sound very bitter about the Order, sir.” “I might be ancient, but I’m not an officer. Bard’ika, please.” Flying creatures that Jaina couldn’t identify wheeled and jinked high in the dusk sky like fighter craft; Gotab watched them in silence for a moment. “The Order has long been about justifying its own existence, about acquiring and holding power, and from what I see now, nothing much has changed since my day. I know what I swore to do as a Jedi, and it didn’t have anything to do with turning a blind eye to social evils because the Sith were a bigger evil. But every act of evil we commit creates an environment where the Sith can exist. So Jedi who cut corners-a Jedi Order that cuts corners-forfeit their right to hold the moral high ground. Yes, I’m bitter. That’s why I stopped being a Jedi and just became someone who had Force skills and wanted to do no harm. I’ve killed-and not regretted it. I’ve never wrung my hands while whining about my conscience. So if you genuinely want my advice-well, to hear my view, because that’s all it is-then, Jaina Solo, we talk purely as individuals who can use the Force. I won’t help the Jedi Order.”