[Legacy Of The Force] - 08(146)

“I know.” But Fett knew that he could have stayed in touch, or visited, and then Ailyn would at least have seen he was around, and not totally callous-just mostly. It might not have made any difference in the end. “I’m not good at telling people things, either.”

“If you’d told the magistrate why you shot him, you’d never have been convicted.”

“And have everyone know what he did to you? You didn’t tell anyone. You didn’t want it dragged out in public.”

There was only one thing Fett could have done with a scumbag like Lenovar. He wasn’t just any rapist, although that would have been bad enough; he was a Journeyman Protector, Fett’s superior officer on Concord Dawn, a constable who should have been upholding the law, not betraying his uniform and Fett’s trust. If I could have killed him a few more times, I would have. No, the only regrets Fett had were the stupid rows with Sin, the cruel things he’d asked about whether Ailyn was really his, and all the words that couldn’t be unsaid now. She would never have told him about Lenovar; finding out for himself had been the tipping point.

Unrepentant, the magistrate said. You bet I was.

With the fights, and recriminations, and everything he owned taken by the courts, and then the exile… how did anyone repair a marriage after that? Better men did, all the time, but he didn’t know how.

Sintas edged closer behind the pilot’s seat. Fett thought it was better if she didn’t have yet another illusion ruined.

“I’d have gone anywhere with you, Bo, “she said. “I didn’t care if we lost everything.”

“I know. I was the one who didn’t have what it took.”

“The last time I saw your face…. what were you, nineteen?”

“Close enough.”

She was desperate to look at him. Fifty-odd years. He understood why she needed to, but it was still a bad idea for both of them.

Being Sintas, she did it anyway.

She slid around in front of his seat and looked into his eyes; her, midthirties, perfect, him, over seventy, and with a savage life in those absent years that etched itself in every pore.

“Oh, Bo… whatever happened to you?” “I survived.”

She could have looked more shocked. She just seemed ripped up by regret, but not half as much as he was. She touched the scars on his cheek-scars that had been etched by the Sarlacc’s acid. It was another story he needed to tell her. “Come and see Mirta, “she said. “Please?” “She’ll give me the full number on why it was my fault for not telling her.”

“No, she’s a big girl now. She knows things are never as black and white as we want them to be.”

Sintas had never expected him to be eloquent, which was a blessing right then. He handed her the envelope. That was the simplest bit. “Got a few things for you.” “Bo, you don’t have to do that.”

“Just shut up and take it.” Shysa would have done this so much better. He could do anything with a grin and that accent. “And I should have bought you one of these at the time… and this is yours anyway.”

Fett went back to calibrating his HUD just so he didn’t have to watch. Sin could do the strong-and-silent routine just as well as he could, as long as their eyes didn’t meet.

“I know what’s in the canister, “she said, “and I can’t look at it right now.” It was the only holoimage of the three of them as a family, in that short, idyllic time before it all collapsed. “But you’re insane to buy me the stone. I’m never worth that much.” “Sell it. It’s yours.” “I’ve got the first one.”

“Half of it. And a lot’s happened since, so there’ll be a different set of Fett memories in the blue stone. If you ever want to do some catching up.”

Fett wondered if Mirta had taken her to visit Ailyn’s grave yet. The problem with Mirta telling Sintas that he’d gone to so much trouble to recover Ailyn’s body and then buried her with half of the heart-of-fire, was that it made him look like a nice, normal, loving father. And however decent his motives were when he destroyed his marriage, he’d never been man enough in the years that followed to visit his family and try to repair the rift. It took more guts than facing an army.

You get the life you deserve, Fett. Everyone does. “Sin, after I left - did you find someone else?” She was holding the blue heart-of-fire between both palms, one flat above, one below, almost as if she was rolling it, eyes a little distant as if she’d already started listening to its silent voice.

“I did, Bo, more than once, “she said at last. “But in our line of work, it never lasts, does it? You?”