[Legacy Of The Force] - 07(32)

He rose, tossing his blanket aside, and took down his robes from the hanger. Dressed, he moved out into his father’s living room. It was still and dark, and Ben assumed at first that he was the only occupant. Then he saw his father sitting cross-legged before the big viewport, staring, as was so often his custom, at the trees of Endor.

Ben watched his father for a minute. Luke sat perfectly still, expressionless, blinking less often than was normal for a man who was awake. He had to be aware of Ben’s movements and scrutiny, but he did not react.

Ben knew why. His father had been so solicitous of him in the days since his rescue from the Anakin Solo that Ben had begun snapping at him. The realization made Ben wince inside. Pain, self-consciousness, a pervasive feeling of betrayal from Jacen’s torture of him, and, for all he knew, the teenage hormones everybody talked about all the time had made him twitchy and angry.

Ben felt he had plenty of reasons to be twitchy and angry, reasons that went beyond the torture he had experienced. He suspected-he knew, deep down-that it had been Jacen, not Alema Rar, who had killed his mother. And in all the universe, he seemed to be the only one who recognized that fact. It was hard to be the one person keeping alive a thought that big.

But his father didn’t deserve his anger. Maybe Ben couldn’t always stop himself from being that way, but he could at least recognize that it wasn’t his father’s fault.

Ben spent a few moments juggling words in his head, then moved over to sit beside his father-facing him, but in the same pose. The posture made his joints ache. The rnedics had said he would ache for weeks after what Jacen had done to him.

He tried to make his voice calm, mature. “I did my homework, you know.”

Luke blinked several times in succession. He did not look confused, but Ben knew, and took a little uncharitable delight in the fact, that his words had baffled his father.

Luke turned toward him. “What homework?”

“The assignment you and Mom gave me just before I went off to Almania.”

Luke shook his head. “I’m glad you did it. But I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“It was about my grandfather. Anakin Skywalker. How he got to be Darth Vader. The Emperor did horrible things to him. Made him suspicious of his friends so they wouldn’t be friends anymore. Made him kill younglings so no one would ever trust him again. Made him alone. Made it so nobody else in the universe understood him… except the Emperor. I bet, just before he became Darth Vader, he probably hated the Emperor. But the Emperor had worked it out so that he was the only one Anakin Skywalker had.”

Luke considered, then nodded. “I expect you’re right.”

“So I figured it out. That’s what Jacen was doing to me.”

Comprehension dawned in Luke’s eyes. “That’s exactly right.”

“And if I had killed him that day, I would have turned into Darth Vader.”

“Maybe. For a while.”

“Maybe forever.”

“Maybe.” Luke shrugged. “But if you understand that, if you remember it forever, you’ll never turn into Darth Vader.” He shifted to look out across the forest vista again”I think you’re probably smarter than my father.”

“I got my brains from Mom.”

Luke snorted, jarred out of his contemplative mood. “As well as your tendency toward verbal abuse.”

“You sent Valin Horn off on a mission.”

“Yes, I did.”

“Even though he’s the son of an old friend.”

“I have to forget about that sort of thing when deciding who to send off on missions. If I don’t, I’ll compromise the ethics of the Order, and the trust the Jedi Masters and Jedi Knights have in me. I might even cause the downfall of the Order.”

“Would you send me off on a mission where I might be killed?”

“You’ve been on missions like that. Centerpoint.”

“Yeah. … with Jacen. You were actually sending Jacen, not me. Would you send me, as a Jedi Knight?”

“When you’re a Jedi Knight. You’ve only just been appointed as my apprentice.”

Ben took a deep breath. “If you could kill Jacen or save Valin from going to the dark side, which would you choose?”

Luke didn’t answer.

Ben fell silent. If he started talking again, his father could ignore the question. But Ben very much wanted to hear the answer.

“Ben, I would kill Jacen.”

“So you gave me special consideration you wouldn’t give Valin.”

“Yes.” Luke lowered his gaze to his hands, which rested in his lap. “Speaking as the Grand Master … I shouldn’t have.”