“You couldn’t call us?” she said. “You couldn’t even tell Jacen where you were?”
Ben frowned slightly. “I’m sorry. I was on a mission and I didn’t want to give away my location.”
“We can talk about it later. Let’s have lunch.” She gestured toward the exit. “It’s okay. Your dad will be happy just to see you back safe. No yelling. I promise.”
Ben slid off the pedestal in uncharacteristic silence, and they walked to the speeder platforms. Mara kept a careful eye on the crowd, not entirely sure if she’d recognize or even sense Lumiya if she was around. Lumiya might even send one of her minions, and she had people within the GAG. The biggest threat might be one of Ben’s own troopers.
“What are you frightened of, Mom?” Ben asked.
Mara didn’t take her eyes off the crowds around them. She scanned constantly, as she had been trained to do. “Okay, you might as well know. Lumiya is trying to kill you.”
Ben gave a little grunt that might have been disbelief and seemed to mull over the idea rather than show alarm. “Because she’s still got this vendetta with Dad?”
“Mainly because you killed her daughter.”
“Uh … okay, I’ll take her word for it.”
Mara shielded Ben as he got into the speeder. It was always a vulnerable moment: she’d taken a few targets as they ducked into vehicles, caught off-balance for a moment. The hatches closed with a sigh of air, and she turned to look at him closely.
“I mean it, Ben. She’s dangerous and she’s subtle, so until we neutralize her, you have to be on your guard. She’s got connections within the GAG. It could be anyone.”
“If she was going to have this spy of hers in the Guard kill me, she’d have done it by now.” He slouched in the passenger’s seat. “But I’ll be careful. Wow, this is getting messy. What with Jacen on Fett’s list for killing his daughter, and me killing Lumiya’s … I suppose that’s what the job’s about, isn’t it? You collect enemies. Hey, the boys have got a bet going on when and how Fett’s going to come after Jacen.”
Mara wasn’t sure if Ben was making light of the threat for her sake or just indulging in normal teenage dismissal. Fett was the least of her worries. “And … have you placed your bet?”
“Oh, Jacen can take him. But it’s kind of weird that Fett hasn’t made a move. The longer he waits, the more people get freaked, I suppose.”
“If Fett comes for Jacen,” she said, “let him handle it. Okay?”
The speeder climbed into one of the automated skylanes and headed for the Rotunda Zone. Ben gazed out of the side screen in silence.
“So can you tell me what this mission was?” Mara asked.
Ben did that three-second pause that meant he was framing his words carefully. “I had to bring back a prototype vessel. I wasn’t in any more danger than I could comfortably handle.”
That was a relief. It was just an errand, although why Jacen hadn’t known about it baffled her. “And you missed your birthday celebration.”
“You know how folks say that you get to a point in life when birthdays don’t matter? That’s how it felt.”
“Sweetheart, that’s only when you get a lot older. Not fourteen.” If anything could break Mara’s heart, it was that: Ben’s childhood had passed him by. “Next year, I promise, we’ll have a family get-together. Really mark the day.”
“You think the war will be over by then?”
“If it’s not, we’ll still have a party. All of us.”
“Uncle Han and Aunt Leia, too? Even after I tried to arrest Uncle Han?”
And that was the bizarre reality of a civil war: a teenage boy sent to
detain his aunt and uncle, and then fretting over whether they’d attend his next birthday party. Mara sometimes tried to add up the days she’d lived that weren’t about killing and warfare, and there were so very, very few. She wanted a different future for Ben.
“Yes, even after that,” she said. “Ben, does Jacen know you’re back?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t volunteer any more. “It’s okay. I report back for duty at oh-eight-hundred tomorrow. I haven’t gone AWOL.”
“I’ll have one last try, then. Ben, I worry about you. Your dad and I would really sleep a lot better if you left the GAG and came on missions with us.”
Mara braced for incoming. But Ben thought visibly for a while, and when he spoke his tone was soft and unsettlingly adultunsettlingly old.
“Mom, have you ever had to do something you didn’t want to do, but knew you had to?”