That’s me. That’s what I have to do.
Full of too much Toydarian sourfry, tired, and lulled by hot water, Jacen let his mind wander, and reached out in the Force to touch Allana and Tenel Ka. He risked this with decreasing frequency now. The latest attempt on their lives had been a stark warning of how precarious his family’s position was. He’d never heard Allana call him Daddy. He probably never would.
My family. Yes, that’s who my family is. Not Jaina, not Mom, not Dad; my little girl and her mother. Trust me to fall for a woman whose customs prevent her ever naming the father of her child.
He could have sworn Allana reached back at him. He was so thrilled that he opened his eyes, and then realized that it was one more chance for someone to find her and harm her. Lumiya wasn’t above that. It was the Sith way. Making someone suffer and hate only strengthened their Sith powers.
He’d visit Tenel Ka as soon as he was certain that he and Niathal had consolidated the takeover and that the war would be fought more logically and with less regard for keeping insignificant worlds happy.
Got to deal with the Bothans next. Lumiya can earn her keep again.
But he couldn’t keep his eyes open. He wasn’t dozing, but Force-visions wouldn’t leave him alone. It was as if the Force was shaking him by the shoulders and telling him to pay attention and get on with it, because time was running out. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw the trust that Ben placed in him, and the lies he’d told the boy, and the danger he’d put him in. And Ben still kept coming back for more. He was desperate to do the right thing. Now Jacen saw him clearly, head in his hands, sobbing: “It’s too high a price. “
What was? Lekauf? No. There’d be many, many Lekaufs. Wars were full of them. It was one reason why Jacen had to put an end to fighting, any way he could.
Maybe … it wasn’t Ben, but about him.
Why have I thought this over so many times? Why is it obsessing me? Because I’m denying it. Because I can’t accept it’s him. Because it has to be him.
It would be easy to kill Ben, because Ben trusted him. Jacen knew how bad that would make him feel. It was strangling a nusito pup.
You don’t want to see the inevitable. Do you?
Jacen dried himself and spent the rest of the evening assembling
his personal armory. He examined his lightsaber and blaster, and knew that those still wouldn’t be enough when Luke and Mara came after him to exact vengeance for Ben. He took out the box of assorted poisons and pathogens that could be delivered by dart or projectile, yet another range of weapons that might make it past the defenses of his most persistent enemies. He had all the bases covered: chemical, biological, mechanical.
He just wanted it all over with.
And when Ben was gone, who would be his apprentice then? Just before he fell asleep, it crossed his mind that Admiral Cha Niathal had demonstrated an excellent grasp of the rule of two.
It was just as well she wasn’t a Force-user.
chapter fifteen
This has to be about more than getting tough on chaos and disorder. I need to be tough on the causes of chaos and disordergreed, corruption, and ambition.
Jacen Solo, joint GA Chief of State, speaking at a lunch for the heads of Coruscanti industry
BEVIIN-VASUR FARM, MANDALORE
Mirta put her finger to her lips, and the four of them stacked around the door as if getting ready to storm Fett’s stronghold.
“I’ll check,” she said to Orade. Beviin winked at her. Medrit just kept glancing at his chrono as if he didn’t have time for all this. “You can hide behind me if you like.”
Orade licked his lips nervously. “Cyar’ika, when Fett says he’ll break my legs, he’s just looking for an excuse.”
“He’s a sick man, Ghes, and if you tell anyone, I’ll be the one doing the breaking.”
Ghes Orade would have faced a cannoned-up Chiss fleet armed only with a sharp stick, and laughed about his chances of survival, but he was scared stiff of her grandfather. Mirta wondered if she was doomed to have all her romances doused liberally with freezing water because everyone now knew she was a Fett. She leaned on the barn doorthe building had been a drying shedand two indignant faces turned to her.
“What are you doing to him?” she demanded. “Has he had a relapse or something?”
Fett was breathing hard as if he was in a lot of pain, hands clenched against his chest, face white and waxy. A woman she’d never seen before stood over him, holding a large-bore needle-tipped syringe up to the light and checking the reservoir. Another man in a ragbag of assorted armor was standing with his back to the door. He didn’t turn around.
“Jaing kept his promise,” Fett said, breathless. “Or he’s having the last laugh and poisoning me. We’ll see.”