She paused again, looking down at the carpet. “I think he’s in love and it’s tearing him up.”
“Jacen? In love? Come on…”
“Trust me. I felt something like it before with someone I was pursuing and I read it all wrong then, too. A messy, painful love affair can make people feel pretty dark-all that anger and desperate love.”
“But he’s a Jedi. He can control all that.”
“We’re Jedi. We married, so how much did we control all that?”
He wanted to believe her. Mara was as smart as they came: she would never have survived as the Emperor’s Hand if she hadn’t had a finely tuned sense of danger and the ability to put her own distracting emotions aside. She had to be able to see what was truly there, not what she wanted to see.
Her tone softened. “Shall I tell you what I see? I see Ben becoming someone who’s comfortable with his Force powers and not resenting us for making him a Jedi. We couldn’t put him straight, but Jacen could, and we should be grateful to him for that.”
“Jacen plays fast and loose with his own powers. He projected himself into the future, and don’t tell me that didn’t worry you. I don’t want Ben learning that kind of thing-and do we really know what skills Jacen learned while he was away? He’s changed, Mara. I feel it.”
She pressed a cup into his hand and stroked his hair, but all he could feel now was a distance that shouldn’t have been there, as if she was becoming wary of him-or wary of upsetting him. “Jacen’s grown up, too. He’s taking a different path as a Jedi, that’s all. We don’t have all the answers.”
“It’s more than that. I’m having dreams and they’re about a threat to us.”
“You really believe Ben’s at risk?”
“I feel Jacen is at risk. I don’t want Ben sucked into this with him.”
“The future isn’t fixed.”
“Oh, but it is when Jacen tampers with it.”
“Whoa, let’s not fight about this.”
“I want us to find another mentor for Ben.”
“Luke, did you happen to notice there’s no line forming for the job?”
However strong her defense of Jacen, Luke didn’t feel genuine certainty in Mara. He put the caf aside and pulled her to him, looking into her eyes. A few lines feathered from their corners, and there was a scattering of white in the mass of red hair framing her face, but she was still perfect as far as he was concerned, still his rock, still his heart.
And she was still wrong.
“Mara, I can’t ignore this.”
“Fine.” He felt her shoulders tense. “Go ahead and alienate Ben just when he’s starting to settle down. So what if Jacen’s explored some strange philosophies and communed with bugs? We’ve both been into the dark side, and we came through it.”
“So you can feel the dark side.”
“No, I feel that Jacen’s developing powers way beyond mine, and that he’s good for Ben, and that he would never harm him.” She stepped back from Luke and he sensed she was shutting him out now, perhaps to stop the conversation from degenerating into an argument that would have no winners. “That makes him a good influence. Without Jacen, we’d have a teenage son with strong Force powers who won’t listen to us. Now that’s really dangerous.”
She had a point. It seemed a good moment to concede. “I can’t argue with that.”
“But . .”
“I never said but.”
“I heard but and I felt but.”
. . but I’d be neglecting my duty if I didn’t put some effort into finding out who or what this is in my dreams.”
Mara pursed her lips for a moment, looking to one side of him, and then managed a smile. She knew when she couldn’t shift him from an idea. And he meant it. The dreams were too strong and insistent to ignore, even if it meant causing friction with Mara. She would come around in time; if he ignored his instincts, the consequences might be far worse than a few silent breakfasts and black looks.
Then the smile became broader, as if she knew that. “I’m going to get some sleep. And so should you.”
“I’ll finish my caf. Later.”
Luke took a long time draining the cup. He sat staring out the window, focusing on the bright green light of a distant illuminated sign to be sure that he was meditating and not dreaming. He tried to reach for the hooded man to make him show his face. The green light wavered and filled his field of vision: there were shapes within it, a feeling of familiar things in different guises and somehow unrecognizable, but the figure in the hood remained elusive.