Left Behind(4)

Nikki, you have a fraternal twin sister. And an aunt too. Neither one of us is an only child. Although, in our hearts, we always will be.

Your sister was sick. I couldn’t take care of her and take care of us. So your aunt made arrangements for us. She had the other baby adopted.

On your first birthday, I called your aunt to see if she could find out how your sister was. She said the baby left the hospital healthy and she didn’t know more. She may have been lying, because they were listening. So I hung up fast so they couldn’t trace the call and I never called her again. She vowed to keep the adoption a secret because the adoptive parents begged her to. They never plan to tell your sister she isn’t their real child. I’m sorry I’m not there with you now. I hate to leave you all alone. No one should be alone in the world. That’s why I’m telling you about your aunt. Her name is Claire Nichols. She has means and will help you if you ask. But be careful. She’ll stop at nothing to keep the secret of your sister from being exposed.

I’ll love you always. To the moon and back.

Mom





By the time I’m done reading, some of the inked words are blurred from my tears. Clenching her letters tightly against my chest, I curl up on the bed and cry myself to sleep, repeating the words over and over. To the moon and back, Mom. To the moon and back.

***

The next afternoon, I freeze when I hear the knock on the trailer door. I’d rehearsed what I was going to say to Evil Evans all night, but now the words have left me. I barely eke out a “Come in.” It’s pretty ironic that I’m about to ask her for help, when all I wanted before was for her to leave me alone.

“Ready, Nikki?” We make eye contact, but I quickly look away, steadying myself with a deep breath.

“Ms. Evans, I need your help.” I wrap my hands around my stomach— the words actually caused physical pain when I said them.

It’s the first time I’ve ever seen her speechless.

“It’s about the letter from my mom.” My eyes well up with tears. “I have an aunt,” I blurt out. “Her name is Claire Nichols. I need to find her. I really need to find her. Will you please help me?” I was up half the night searching the internet, there’s more than four thousand people with my aunt’s name. Ms. Evans could search records…maybe even hire an investigator.

She listens to me explain what I want her to do. “Nikki— ”

“Please, Ms. Evans, please. Don’t take me anywhere yet. Just try to find her first. Please. She’s my only family.”

I sense her mentally paging through her caseload, deciding if I’m worthy. “It may not be as easy to find her as you think.” She sighs and looks toward the ceiling. Eventually she reluctantly agrees. “You can’t stay here. I’ll have to talk to Ashley’s mom about keeping you a few more days. If she can’t”— the warning in her voice is clear— ”you’ll have to go to the foster family tonight.”

I don’t tell Ms. Evans about my sister. My sister. After Evans leaves, I say the words aloud to myself to see how it sounds. “My sister.” After seventeen years, how can someone have a sister?

***

I hate to cry. Telling Ash about Mom’s letter would most definitely open the floodgates. So instead, I just hand her the envelope and let her read the whole crazy story for herself. As she finishes reading, Ashley starts to cry. I can’t hold back my tears when I see hers. We hug, clinging to each other tightly.

It takes a little coaxing. Ashley actually begs her mom to let me stay with them for a little while longer. It’s not that her mom doesn’t like me, but she does dislike an extra body in their small trailer, five kids cramp things enough. But Ashley convinces her and she reluctantly calls Ms. Evans to tell her I can stay.

“Mother of the year said you have a week. Generous, huh?” Ashley says as we walk to get some of my clothes.

“At least she’s letting me stay.” I shrug.

“Well, if we run out of time, I guess we’ll just cut your hair into a mullet, glue on a scraggly mustache, and stuff a quarter keg beer belly into a red flannel. She’ll find room for you then. Hell, she’ll have the rest of her spawn calling you Uncle within a few days.

I laugh. Her depiction is a bit overly dramatic, but it’s not that far off. “What happened to Uncle Kenny?”

“You mean Uncle Joe. Uncle Kenny was last month.”

“That’s right, I forgot you got a new Uncle.”

“Don’t bother remembering, he went out for milk and never came back.” I look at Ashley in disbelief. “No, really. He literally went for milk. Mom gave him twenty bucks and he never came back.”

I shake my head. “She’s too nice.”

“Sure.” Ashley looks at me like I’m crazy. “We’ll go with that.”

“Honestly, I’m grateful she’s letting me stay. I wouldn’t last too long with anyone else.”

“What choice do you have?”

“I don’t know. I have a little money stashed away. I’m getting out of here, with or without Evans’ help.”





Chapter 6



Zack—


Long Beach, California


After Emily told me she was ready last weekend, I’d thought that maybe finally doing it would bring us closer together. But if this week is any indication of things to come, I’m starting to question if sleeping with Emily is even a good idea. Her usual bossiness has hit a new level of extreme this week. I secretly wonder if she thinks she can get away with anything now, because she holds the looming sex card over my head. She’s been treating me like a dog with a bone held just out of his reach. Only pretty soon this dog may bite her and go find a nicer owner. It would be pretty ironic if I wound up turning her down in the end, after the last year of practically begging.

“Fine. Fine. Just stop yelling at me. I’ll drive you home after practice and then come back to the library.”

“Do you know how it looks when you hang out with them in public?” The way her lip twists up in a snarl makes her beautiful face turn ugly.

“Yeah. It looks like I have real friends, ones that aren’t even more plastic than their credit cards,” I shoot back, my voice laced with contempt I no longer try to hide.

Eyes wide, she has the audacity to look appalled. “My friends are not plastic!”

“I have to get to class.” I open the door leading inside from the now empty courtyard. Everyone’s already gone and I’m going to be late for English. I hold the door open and speak without turning back to face her, “You coming or not?”

Emily huffs, but stomps through the door. God forbid she be caught in the courtyard alone.

***

I sit in English class staring at Mr. Hartley, but I don’t hear a word he says. My head is so jumbled, wondering where Emily and I veered off course to wind up in such different places. For the last eight years, we’ve always been Zack and Em. I don’t think I ever really gave any thought to dating anyone else, everyone always just assumed Emily and I would wind up together, including me. But I’m not sure I can do it anymore. Some days, I barely recognize who she is; she’s changed so much.

I used to think her attitude was part of her insecurity, putting other people down made her feel better about herself. On the outside, everyone sees a beautiful girl, full of confidence, fearless. Only I know the truth. She was criticized for years.

When we were younger, Emily hated her mother’s fixation on social status. I remember one time, when we were ten or eleven, we rode our bikes to the park the day after a heavy rainstorm. The dirt under the swings had turned into thick, squishy mud. We spent hours chasing each other, tossing handfuls of mud until the only white visible was the whites of our eyes. We had the greatest day; neither of us could stop smiling. Until Mrs. Bennett caught sight of us. She freaked out, worried what people might think if they saw her daughter covered in dirt.

For years Emily complained about her mother’s obsessiveness over how things looked. How she looked. But then, a little at a time, she started to become the very thing she despised. The criticized became the critic. I know it’s not really her fault. So for a long time, I put up with Emily putting people down, with no one ever being good enough, because that’s all that she’s ever known. But I’m tired of making excuses about who she’s become to people…making excuses to myself.

“You okay?” Allie Parker breaks me out of deep thought. I look around, finding the class half empty. Guess I didn’t hear the bell ring.

“Uh…yeah. I’m just tired today. Coach has us doing extra practice time with the game coming up.” It’s not a lie. The whole team has been putting in extra time, although physically I’m not tired at all.

“I can cover your part of the project. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?” Allie offers, a sweet smile on her face. She really is pretty. How have I never noticed it before? Dark hair, pale skin, green eyes with a hint of grey in them. The color is really unusual and I find myself staring to get a better look.

“You okay?” Allie tilts her head to the side, her smile fading to a look of concern. I force myself to snap out of it.