I’m angry. I’m relieved. I’m so jumbled and filled with mixed emotions, I’m not sure whether to scream at her for leaving or to grab her and never let her go. The one thing I am absolutely, positively sure of in this moment is that I fucking love this girl. With everything I have. She’s in my heart and soul. Never in my life have I ever felt so strongly about anything. It almost feels as if my whole life has been a series of tests, just so I could get the answers wrong and know when it’s finally right.
Ashley smiles wearily, nods and slips past me wordlessly, quickly making her way down the stairs. Nikki and I hold each other’s gaze for a long moment. I see pain and sorrow in her eyes that almost makes me break right on the spot.
I approach her slowly, bending at the knees so we’re eye level. I feel like my heart is completely exposed and she can either chose to take it or to break it into a million little pieces. Looking at her, one thing’s for certain: if she takes it, I’ll never get it back. But she’s worth the chance of putting it all out there.
“Hi,” I say quietly.
“Hi.” she whispers back. Her blue-green eyes flicker with what I think is hope. I move in closer. She looks away, unable to hold the intensity of my stare. Gently, I cup her cheek and force her gaze back to me.
“I don’t understand.” She pauses. “What are you doing here?”
“I came for you.”
“Why?” she hesitates, her eyes darting from mine.
“You have to ask why I came for you? Don’t you know how I feel about you?”
“I thought I knew.”
“How I feel about you hasn’t changed. Except maybe my feelings have grown stronger.”
“Really? Do you always lie to the people who you feel strongly about?”
“I didn’t lie.”
“You told me you barely remembered even passing lighthouses. That they were our special place. I saw the picture of you and Emily on her mirror, Zack.”
“It was a school trip in tenth grade. We went on a boat ride around the harbor. I didn’t even remember there was a lighthouse there.”
“And Dr. Bennett at the hospital? He’s just a family friend?”
I blow out a breath. “I’m sorry. I had no idea he was your father. I swear. You had just found out you couldn’t find out about your sister for a few months. You were disappointed. Upset. I didn’t want to make it worse.” I pause. “I know it’s a stretch, but he is a family friend. He’s been our neighbor for ten years.”
“But why would Mrs. Bennett tell me you knew, if you didn’t?”
“I know she found you at the cemetery and what she said to you. Dr. Bennett found out and told me. He’s devastated you found out this way. She just wanted you out of town. She was worried people would find out her husband had an affair. But he’s not like her, Nikki. Not at all. He loved your mother and he loves you. She’s a bitter person. My mother told me Dr. Bennett moved out of the house last night. I guess it took this to make him see how bad it really was.”
She’s scared, I see it in her eyes. They warm when they meet mine, but she quickly withdraws. “Do you wish I was Emily when you’re with me, Zack?”
I wince. Hearing her ask the question causes me physical pain. “I’ve never wished anything, when I was with you except for time to stand still.”
She eyes me wearily.
“I don’t understand why this was our path, but I know fate brought us together.” I say without wavering.
Nikki’s face softens. Our eyes meet, but she quickly looks away again.
“Look at me.” Her eyes jump back to mine. “I’m in love with you.” Our gaze finally locks. I brush the hair behind her ear and cup both her cheeks in my hands. “When you’re not around, I’m lonely in a room full of people.” I pause. “Everything is better with you. I’m better with you.”
A tear rolls down her cheek.
“No crying.” I wipe it away with my thumb.
She hesitates, but smiles a little.
“God, I missed that smile.” I look down at her lips.
She smiles a little wider.
“I missed those lips too.” With all her sexy curves, it’s the curve of her mouth into a smile that does me in.
Chapter 43
Nikki
His mouth crushes against mine, the intensity and rawness of the kiss jarring me at first, but I quickly melt into him. I’m breathless by the time he pulls his head back. But I fall hard, losing everything else around us, when he kisses me again, this time beautifully gentle. Our eyes locked, he gazes at me as he worships my mouth with feather-light kisses from one corner all the way around and back again. Then he kisses me so deeply, so full of emotion that he steals my heart along with my breath.
We stay that way for a long time. Stealing kisses and smiles, as the daylight turns to darkness and the moon shines brightly over us. “I almost forgot.” Zack reaches into his pocket and pulls out a box. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
A beautiful antique heart locket. Zack opens it for me. “I thought maybe you could put a picture of your Mom on one side and you on the other, so you’re always next to each other.” He smiles.
“I’d love that. Thank you.”
There’s an inscription on the back, but it’s too dark and I can’t make out the words. “I can’t read it,” I say in a soft voice. “What does it say?”
Zack stares at me. I see his throat work to swallow before he speaks. “It says love needs no words. You had me before you even spoke.” He pauses, slipping the chain over my neck. “Now you have both my hearts.”
Tears stream down my cheeks. He wipes them away. “Can you please not cry.”
“But they’re good tears, not bad tears.”
“Still. It kills me to see any tears on your beautiful face.”
I smile. He lifts the locket from between my cleavage. “I like where it falls,” he grins devilishly while fingering the heart on the chain where it dangles.
“I have another present.”
“Another one?”
He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out something. “Happy Birthday.”
“Is that…?”
“Yes.” He smiles. “Oh my god. How did you know where to find it?”
“Ashley mentioned you sold a ring your Aunt gave you. So I made your Aunt go to every pawn store in the area to help me find it.”
My Aunt. I feel badly for disappearing on her, even though she kept so many secrets from me. “How is Aunt Claire?” I ask.
“Worried about you. She’s really pretty broken up over you finding out and her not being the one to tell you.”
“She could have told me herself.”
“I know.” He kisses me gently on the lips. “It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you and hasn’t been worried. She needs to explain it to you herself, but she was trying to protect you.”
The sunlight gone, a northeast wind blows strong at the top of the tower. The breeze makes me shiver. “Come on. Let’s get out of here. I’ll call Keller to come get us.”
“Keller?”
“Yeah. He decided I invited him on this road trip.”
“Did you?”
“No.”
We both laugh. As we turn to descend the narrow steps, Zack slips a folded piece of paper into my hand as he takes it. Today I don’t wait to read it until he leaves. I stop and open it smiling up at him. I missed you. Looking deep into his eyes, I tell him, “I missed you too.”
Chapter 44
Nikki
Zack wasn’t ready to turn around and drive the twenty hours back to California and we needed some time alone. So we decided to stay in Texas a few more nights. In the end, I spoke to Aunt Claire and decided to go back to California to live with her. Texas wasn’t my home anymore, no matter how hard I wanted it to be before Zack showed up.
So tomorrow we’re leaving. Oddly, Keller and Ash have hit it off pretty good. I never would have guessed the two of them would like each other. But there’s something more than friends brewing between them. We’re already planning on her coming out to California this summer.
That brings us to tonight. Zack rented rooms for Ashley and Keller so we can be alone finally. I’m more ready to be with him than I ever was and my heart swells with a heady combination of love and lust as he walks toward the bed from the bathroom. He’s wearing skin hugging grey boxer briefs and I can tell he’s just as ready.
“I like you in my t-shirt,” he says with a wicked grin, reaching for my locket. It’s become his new toy; he seems to need to touch it multiple times a day. He doesn’t even pretend it has anything to do with jewelry anymore. He trails his knuckles up and down my breasts, the locket dangling in the palm of his hand. “I like you out of my shirt even better.” He reaches for the hem of his t-shirt and lifts it up and over my head.
The room is still and I can hear his breath speed up when he sees me in my pink lacey bra and panties. We’ve fooled around before. A lot. We’ve even seen each other fully naked. But tonight is different and we both know it. Everything is about to change.
He stands at the edge of the bed looking at me, taking his time to graze his eyes up and down my body. The desire I see makes my body break out in goose-bumps. “Last chance to change your mind,” he says, searching my eyes. He wants to be sure I’m ready. I love that about him. Always putting my needs first.