Left Behind(26)

“I guess.” I finish braiding my hair to the side and brush on a little mascara.

“Let’s go have a good time,” Allie says. “Forget Zack. I like him…I really do. But it’s his loss.”

***

I hear the music blaring from Keller’s house before we even turn the corner to his street. His green, impeccably manicured front lawn is littered with seniors…and red cups. We have to park almost a half block away, because the street is lined with car after car.

The front porch is filled with guys I don’t know, but recognize from the football team. I’ve watched them practice as I ran the track, most of my attention focused on a certain quarterback, but the others still look vaguely familiar. Keller stumbles out the front door just as we approach. He must have started the partying a little before the party started.

“My two favorite ladies have arrived!” He chugs back the contents of his red Solo cup, tosses it over his shoulder and lunges at me and Allie. Taking each of us in an arm, he lifts us off the ground at the knees and carries us to the door as if we are feather light.

“Boys.” He calls the attention of the three large guys sitting at a table on the porch arguing over a game with cups and a ball. They turn and smile broadly. “Who’s got the bowl?” Keller gently sets us down.

A guy stands and extends a large glass fishbowl in our direction filled with keys. Allie shakes her head no.

“You in?” he asks me.

“Oh, I’m not driving,” I say, assuming he’s collecting the keys of drivers to ward off potential drinking and driving.

Key Collector smiles at me. He’s cute, in an oversized bear kind of way. He leans down, a wry grin on his face, and whispers in my ear. “It’s a key party. You put your keys in to decide who you’re hooking up with later.”

OH! “No thanks,” I feel the pink spread across my cheeks.

“That’s too bad. I’d love to pull your key.” He winks and walks away.

“Come on,” Allie yells over the music and grabs my hand, leading me away. I look back and find key party guy watching me and smiling.

Inside, the music is even louder. I feel the base thumping in the hollow of my chest and my heart speeds up to pump with the rhythm. There are people everywhere, some I recognize, others look a few years older. People sway to the music, a few couples are already splattered around the room in corners making out and groping each other.

There’s a card game going on in the kitchen and I think it might be strip poker since two boys are shirtless and one girl is looking worried and taking off her socks.

“What do you want to drink?” Allie yells over the music as we weave through the crowd toward the makeshift bar set up on the dining room table. I smile when I see the green bottle that reminds me of one of the few times I’d gotten drunk back in Texas with Ashley.

“Nothing for me. Thanks.”

“Are you sure?” I knew Allie was planning on drinking, we’d already talked about us walking home. It’s a nice night and I like to walk anyway.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

An hour into the party and I finally start to relax when there’s no sign of Zack. Drunks can be quite amusing to talk with when you’re sober. Allie and I settle in at a table in the yard where Keller is holding court, telling joke after joke. Sometimes he screws up the punch line, but those times he’s even funnier. One of the guys from the football team delivers a new, full cup and Keller knocks the entire thing back in one ridiculously large gulp.

Almost knocking the entire patio table over as he pushes himself away from the table, Keller stands and reaches his arms over his back, pulling his shirt off in one tug. Such a boy way to undress.

“Time for a swim,” he says with a mischievous smile on his face that makes me nervous. “What do you think, Nikki, you want to go for a swim?” He lifts me out my chair and into his arms, completely ignoring my protests.

“Oh my god, Keller. No!” I scream as he makes his way to the side of the large, rectangular in-ground pool.

He swings me back and forth as if he’s going to toss me in. “1, 2…3!” On three he swings me higher but doesn’t really let go. My heart pounds in my chest.

“Please, Keller. I can’t swim!” I lie, screeching my words.

“That’s okay, I’ve got you.” He grins and makes his way around to the low diving board. Standing at the edge, he jumps up and down with me still in his arms. After the second jump, he wobbles on the landing.

“Keller, please! You’re going to fall in.” I cling to his neck. With each bounce he loses his grip on me a little bit more.

Another bounce, followed by a barely salvaged landing, and I hear his voice.

“Put her down Keller,” Zack bellows, his tone clipped. I crane my neck behind Keller’s wide girth to see Zack standing at the edge of the pool.

Keller turns, looking to Zack and then me. He deliberates on his choices, then mumbles a few words before carrying me back to the patio. He sets me down next to Zack and walks away with a salute.

Zack looks at me for a long moment, “You okay?”

I nod.

He nods back, then walks away without looking back.

***

So maybe my solution to the discomfort I feel knowing Zack is around isn’t the smartest one. Reluctantly, I take the shot I’m offered and swallow it back. It burns going down and the effect is immediate. Although the instant effect may have more to do with the five beers I drank in the hour before the shots started flying.

The cute guy with the nice smile who was collecting keys on the porch refills my glass with a clear liquid. It looks innocent enough. Me, Allie and Key Collector clank our shots together in cheers. Half of mine spills all over the counter as I bumble just to keep the tiny glass in my unsteady hand.

“Come on,” he pleads with his playful smile. “You girls have to give me your keys. You’re the two hottest girls here.”

Allie finally gives in, tossing her keys in the bowl. I manage to ignore their pressuring me to join them, excusing my drunk self to find the ladies’ room. In my intoxicated state it takes me a good ten minutes to do what should take three.

Opening the bathroom door, I turn down the dark hallway and stop in my tracks when I see Zack. A girl I recognize from school is all over him. We lock eyes, but he makes no attempt to speak to me.

Stumbling back into the kitchen, I find Allie and Key Collector where I left them. The crushing sensation in my chest hurts so much that I can barely breathe. I reach into my pocket and pull out my house keys and dangle them in the air.

“Yes!” Key Collector yells victoriously, pumping his fist in the air for added effect.

A few minutes later, smiling widely, Key Collector announces it’s time to distribute the keys. Allie and I dance together and my body begins to feel the music. Really feel the music. Relaxed, inebriated, I sway to the rhythm, finally forgetting what I’d started drinking to forget. Mission accomplished.

My eyes falling closed, I almost miss Zack stalking over to me. Keller follows in his wake, looking harried.

“Wasn’t my idea, man,” Keller holds his hands up as if to plead his innocence.

“Let’s go,” Growling, Zack says to me.

“No,” I respond adamantly. I don’t have to listen to him. Keller’s standing behind Zack, his eyes go wide.

“You’re leaving. If I have to carry you out of here, I will.”

Swaying a bit as I try my damnedest to stand still, I fold my arms over my chest and call his bluff. Zack looks to Keller. “Walk Allie home later.”

“You got it,” Keller replies quickly, looking to Allie, who nods back.

I don’t even bother to protest when Zack scoops me off my feet and into his arms. Suddenly, I’m too tired to argue. Leaning my head against his chest, I breathe in deep and close my eyes at the soapy smell that makes me relax. I don’t even open my eyes to see Key Collector still holding his bloody nose when we pass him sitting on the front porch.

***

“What time does your Aunt come home in the morning?” Zack asks as he tucks me into my bed. I must have slept the entire time since leaving Keller’s living room.

“Eight,” I mumble.

He slips into bed next to me and hauls me close to him, wrapping his arms around my waist tightly.

“I missed you,” he whispers as he buries his head in my neck.

“I’m mad at you,” I whisper back.

“I know,” he answers.

“But I missed you too,” I admit, my voice fading as I fall asleep feeling more at peace than I have in two weeks.

***

I crack one eye open, the brightness in the room causing pain in my eye that can only be matched by the throbbing in my head. I groan. The events of last night come flooding back and I reach behind me only to find a cold, empty bed. Was I dreaming he was lying in bed with me? I turn around to look, but the room is empty— he’s gone. There’s a folded up piece of paper on the nightstand, along with two pills and a bottle of water.

I unfold the note; the crinkling of the paper is deafening even though it’s barely audible. I’m sorry. Take the Tylenol. Drink the full bottle of water, you need to hydrate. Pick you up at 8pm.





Chapter 29



Zack





They say there are five stages of grief. I don’t even remember what a few of them are, but it felt like I was stuck in anger and depression for a very long time. People tried to explain it to me, help me through the process, but I wouldn’t take any of the hands that were offered. Guilt and shame barricaded me alone on one side, feeling disconnected from the rest of the world on the other.