Leave Me Love(6)

"Are you a student here?" Trying to finish your degree after prison?

"A student of history." He disappeared in the growing mist, like a ghost swallowed up by white.

Shivering, my clothes soaked through, I tried to walk, but my knees buckled. The bitter taste filled my mouth again. My ears buzzed. My head spun.

"Catelyn? Catelyn?"

A hand rested on my shoulder, and I jumped.

"It's me, Catelyn. Let me help you."

I looked into the kind eyes of Professor Cavin and gave him my hand. He helped me stand and walked me back to his office. I sat across from his desk, rubbing my head as he made us tea on his illegal hot plate. The peppermint drink gave me focus, warmed me up, and made me think of Ash.

"What were you doing out there, Catelyn? Shouldn't you be resting?"

"I needed to stretch, and I wanted to see how the scholarships were going."

He frowned as I stirred my tea and sipped it. "Catelyn, I'm afraid things aren't going well in that department. You didn't complete your final paper last semester, and that has affected some of the scholarship opportunities."

I set the tea down. "But you gave me an extension."

"I know, and I'm sorry, I didn't know they would weight it so heavily. But don't worry, I haven't given up." He bent over and brought out a thick envelope from a box by his desk. "I do have some good news though. I found these this week and thought you might like them."

I accepted the envelope from him. When I opened it, I found myself staring at a younger version of my mother, smiling and happy. "Where are these from?" I held up one of her by a cabin in the woods, standing next to the professor.

"That's my cabin. I haven't gone there since…" His eyes welled, and he cleared his throat.

"Sorry," I said.

"Don't be. You lost more than me, dear girl." He tasted his tea. "We used to go out there a lot, for research, for… other things. It was a long time ago." His eyes lacked focus as he lost himself in the past.

"Thank you for these." I put them back in the envelope. "Ash showed me a note he found recently, a note my mom left him. She wanted to meet him, before her death. Do you have any idea why?"

"No," he mumbled, lifting his tea to hide his face.

"Professor?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his desk. Then lowered the tea. "I shouldn't be telling you this. I could get into a lot of trouble if anyone found out."

"Please, it's important." My heart thumped in my chest as I waited.

"You should ask Ash."

"I'm asking you."

"Catelyn, your mother, Alice, before she went private, she was a damn good DA."

"Yes, I know."

"When Ash was fifteen, he was arrested."

"I knew he had some trouble with the law when he was young."

Cavin leaned forward. "Your mom was the prosecuting attorney on his case. She put him away."





Chapter Four


Secrets and Betrayals





I USED THE walk back to my dorm to clear my head. Or at least I tried. My mind spun with questions about Ash. My gut trusted him. He'd saved my life. He'd saved my best friend's life. But there always seemed to be too many secrets hanging between us, creating a wall that felt impossible to penetrate.

Part of me wanted to walk away from him entirely, to avoid the drama and inevitable heartbreak that would come from loving a man like him. But that part did not have majority sway over my heart, mind or body, and so I clung to the idea of me and him, the idea of us, forever. Naive? Maybe. It didn't matter. I'd given myself to him and nothing I said to myself now could undo that.

Beads of sweat dotted my face by the time I made it back to my dorm. I should have stayed in bed and rested like I'd been told. The strain of that walk—how could a walk be so hard?—took its toll, and I collapsed into my bed shaking and short of breath.

When my cell phone rang, I wanted to ignore it, but when I saw the number I picked it up. "Hello?"

I could sense Donna from The Pleasure Palace smiling through the phone. "Cat, it's good to hear your voice. We've missed you. Is everything okay?"

I filled her in on the drama of the last two weeks.

"Oh, God, Cat, I'm so sorry. I figured something must have been wrong, but this… I'm so sorry."

Bridgette opened the door and threw her purse on her desk. "Catelyn, I—" She noticed the phone and sat down on the bed, biting her lip, hands folded on her lap.

I spoke back to Donna. "I hope I still have a job?"

Bridgette frowned. I ignored her.

"Of course. When would you like to start back?" Donna asked.

"How about tomorrow night? I just got back from the hospital…"