Lead(9)

“What?”

“It’s a small space. Can you give me some room to move, please?”

His gaze raked over my back, down to the curve of my abundant ass and what had to be the hairsbreadth of room between us. Without comment, he stepped left, so I could go right.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Ask if he’s got a plain white shirt, yeah?”

“Sure.”

“And hurry.”

No please. No thank you. No nothing.

Typical.

I found Mr. Ericson standing at the kitchen sink, staring out the window. Music and chatter flowed in from the living room, but he remained apart, alone. No one could help him through this. There couldn’t be many things as heartbreaking as losing your life partner, your other half.

What if this had been my mom or dad?

Shit. My throat tightened. I pushed the horrible thought away. They were both fine, I’d only talked to them the other day. Eventually, though, it had to happen, they were getting older. My aimless wandering had to come to an end. I needed to go back and see them sooner rather than later because if something ever happened I’d never forgive myself.

It didn’t seem right to interrupt Mr. Ericson. Jimmy would just have to suck it up.

I stepped back, my elbow knocking a fruit bowl on the counter. The glass chimed noisily, alerting everyone within a twelve-mile radius to my presence. Mr. Ericson turned, staring in surprise. “Lena. It is Lena isn’t it?”

“Yes, Mr. Ericson. I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“Please, call me Neil. Is Jimmy all right?” The lines on his face multiplied.

“He’s fine.” I smiled. “But would it be okay if he borrowed a shirt? His got blood on it.”

“Of course. Follow me.” He led me up the carpeted staircase to the second floor and into a room covered in floral wallpaper. The scent of lilies lingered here too. On the dresser sat a wedding picture and beside it was a more informal shot of them from the 70s, I guess.

“Your wife rocked a pair of knee-high white boots,” I said, crouching down to get a better look. Mal had obviously inherited his smile from her, the mischievous twinkle in his eye. Any money says Mrs. Ericson had gotten up to all sorts of things back in the day, really lived life to the fullest.

I hoped she had.

“She rocked everything, Lena.” The depth of sadness in Mr. Ericson’s voice was immeasurable. So too was the affection. “She was the most beautiful woman I ever met.”

Tears stung my eyes.

“Which one do you think will be acceptable?” He stood in front of the open wardrobe. Half of the space still contained Lori’s clothes. Neat rows of skirts and slacks and blouses. A couple of dresses. How did you move on when half of your life was gone?

I grabbed the first shirt I saw, needing to be gone. “This’ll be great. Thanks.”

“Are you sure?” His brows rose.

“Yep. Jimmy’ll love it. Thank you!”

I got out of their before I burst into tears and embarrassed us both. The man had enough to deal with without me turning on the waterworks. I barreled back down the stairs, breathing hard.

“Here.” I held out the shirt to Jimmy.

He stopped, cocked his head. “You’re fired.”

“What?”

“Lena, look at it.”

I did so. “Huh. Well, it’s very bright and cheerful. No one will be looking at your face, that’s for certain.”

“Yeah. That’s why you’re fired.”

“I think the clashing pink and red Christmas trees make quite a statement. And the frolicking deer are kind of cool … wait, is that one just jumping or has it actually mounted the little one beneath it?”

Angry fingers flew over the buttons of his ruined white shirt. He tore the last few, sending them pinging off into the four corners of the bathroom.

“Oh, goodness. There’s even a threesome happening on the back. That shirt really has it all. But I think if anyone could carry it off, it’s you.” I should stop. I really should stop. But I just couldn’t. “The Jimmy Ferris. I mean, whoa. You’re basically the style king.”

“I don’t know why the fuck I put up with you.”

I shrugged. “No, me neither. But you keep paying me so I keep hanging around.”

“Awesome. Go away.”

“You got it, boss.”

I hovered in the doorway, trying not to laugh. “You’re really going to put it on?”

He threw his stained shirt on the ground, jaw working. “I have to, don’t I? Can’t insult Neil.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. You’d be a shitload more believable if you weren’t laughing.”

True. Giggles poured out of me. It had to be all the stress from today. Though the look on Jimmy’s poor face was hilarious. And the way he handled the shirt like it was something similar to dog shit, his mouth drawn wide with distaste just made it all the better.

“Am I really fired?” I asked, wiping my watery eyes. It would certainly solve a lot of my problems. Or just the main one—him. If I didn’t have to see him every day, my unfortunate new feelings would dwindle and disappear, right? Right.

Well, probably.

“What’s going on?” David ambled on down the hallway in his cool rocker way. I moved over to give him some room. “How’s your face and what the fuck are you wearing?”

“Ask, Lena,” Jimmy bit out.

“I can’t. Your shirt’s so ugly it made her cry.”

I laughed even harder. Something tugged at the hem of my pants, next came growling. “Aw, Killer. What do you think of Uncle Jimmy’s shirt, hmm?” I scooped up the gorgeous puppy before he could gnaw a hole in my hem. “It’s magnificent, isn’t it?”

“Hey.” Mal crowded in behind David and I, peering over our shoulders. “What’s this, a bathroom meeting? Do I need to find, Ben?”

Jimmy swore some more and put on his suit coat with great haste.

“Oh, you’re wearing the fucking deer shirt,” said Mal, scratching Killer’s head and generally stirring him up. “That’s great, man. I got it for dad as a joke a few years back. But I think it’s fantastic that you’re secure enough with yourself and your masculinity to go there.”

“I think it suits him.” I grinned. “It reflects his inner beauty as few other shirts could.”

“It does, it does.” Mal smiled and this time, it was a little closer to his usual. Certainly the best attempt there’d been today. “I gotta take this guy back to his mama. He’s due for crate time.”

I handed the pup over. “Bye, Killer.”

With the pup suspended high in one hand, Mal headed back down the hallway.

“You made him smile,” said David.

Jimmy stopped fiddling with the buttons on his coat and his face cleared. “Least it was useful for something.”

“You did good at the funeral.” David crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the doorframe. “Real good. It was a beautiful speech.”

Jimmy rubbed at the back of his neck. “Think we can head back to the hotel yet? I wanna hit the gym.”

Complete avoidance of his brother’s words, which seemed to stem more from embarrassment, like praise had no place in Jimmy’s world. Odd for a rock star. One would think he’d bask in any attention given how fussy he was with his appearance. The man was a walking contradiction.

No surprise at Jimmy’s response registered on David’s face. Instead, he smiled. “Sure. I’ll find Ev and Ben.”

“Good.”

David paused. “Listen, earlier about mom. I didn’t mean—”

“Its fine,” cut in Jimmy. “Let it go.”

“I just … I didn’t give up on you. Seems harsh not to give her the same chance.”

Jimmy inhaled sharply. “You were ready to give up on me. Hell, you threatened to, remember? You all did. But that’s beside the point. I’ve given her every opportunity over the last few years. All she did was hit me up for more money every fucking chance she got. She doesn’t want help. She’s perfectly happy living in the gutter.”

David winced.

I studied my feet and stayed silent. You couldn’t have cut the air with a knife, it would have taken a chain saw at the very least.

Awkward as hell.

If David hadn’t been blocking the doorway I’d have made a swift exit, given them some privacy to sort this out. But I was stuck, forced to bear witness. I highly doubted Jimmy would appreciate me seeing quite so much of him in one day. Not him as in the physical, but him and his secrets, his past. Such information had a way of binding people and my boss was one of the least likely people to want such a thing. He made my efforts at staying separate and solo over the last few years seem like child’s play. The strained relationship he had with his brother, whom he also worked with, was a prime example.

“Yeah,” sighed David, turning to go. “Guess she doesn’t.”

I waited till Jimmy and I were alone to speak. For a long moment the only sound was the dripping of the tap. Time to break the silence.

“He’s right,” I said. “The speech was perfect.”

Jimmy looked up at me from beneath his dark brows. His eyes were like ice storms, his jaw rigid.

“You did a brilliant job,” I said, concentrating on the positive part of his talk with his brother. “Really fantastic. Just like I said you would.”