Lead(20)

“What the fuck did you do?” David bitched at his brother.

The smirk fell from Jimmy’s face.

“Nothing,” I said, my defensive mode instantly fully engaged on his behalf. “Jimmy didn’t do anything. I just thought it might be time to move on. I haven’t fully decided yet.”

Cue the intense staring competition between the brothers. Apparently, Jimmy won because David turned away first, brow heavily furrowed. Emotive brows obviously run in the Ferris family.

“What is it you do, Lena?” asked Anne’s mom. Jan, that was her name. She looked to be about fifty with faded strawberry blond hair.

“She’s my sobriety companion and assistant,” Jim said without hesitation. “She stops me drinking. Keeps me clean.”

People quieted, looked elsewhere. Jan’s mouth gaped like a goldfish but nothing was said. Given the few things I’d heard from Anne about her mom, Jan should be the last person judging anyone. She hadn’t exactly won parent of the year anytime in the last twenty.

Normally, we didn’t discuss Jimmy’s problems in mixed company, or much at all for that matter. The whole world knew every sordid detail so there was no real need. When he’d gone into rehab, news of his downfall had been everywhere, but apparently somehow Jan had missed it.

The silence stretched out and opposite me Jimmy tensed seeming to distance himself. Arctic eyes stared off into nothing. Perhaps people were embarrassed by his history, as if everyone else was flawless. He’d fallen further than most, true, but he’d crawled his way back up again, too. Strength came in many forms. I’d always assumed the subject of his addictions lay dormant due to his need for privacy. This silence, however, felt wrong, it rankled me.

Why the hell didn’t someone say something? Someone like me perhaps.

“I’ve enjoyed working for Jimmy.” I folded up my napkin, placed it on the table. “I still do. The issue is mine, not his.”

His gaze warmed slightly, his still face returning to life.

“What is the issue?” asked David.

“It’s personal. I’d rather not discuss it.”

“She needs to get a life is the problem.” Jimmy said, pushing back from the table, giving himself some space. “She needs to mix things up a bit. Being with me all the time isn’t necessarily the party you’d imagine.”

David half smiled.

“She’s bored?” Anne studied me from three seats down. “We can fix bored.”

And all of this gave me a very bad feeling. “Guys, this is a personal decision, not a group project. Thank you for caring, but—”

“No, pumpkin.” Mal studied me over the top of his glass of red wine. “I don’t think she’s bored so much as she needs a friend. A special friend, if you know what I mean.”

“I swear, that’s you guys’ answer to everything.” Ev laughed.

“Hey, now. Everyone needs someone special to fuck and cuddle. There is no shame in that,” said Mal, ignoring the startled little gasp from Anne’s mom. Anne didn’t seem concerned either, interestingly enough. “And Lena needs someone who isn’t Jimmy for obvious reasons.”

Down the table, David sat up in his seat. “Why not Jim?”

“Because she works for me?” Interjected my boss, tugging at the collar of his shirt. Seemed he didn’t like being the topic of conversation as much as he enjoyed throwing me to the wolves. Too bad, buddy.

“Davie, please.” Mal continued on as if Jimmy hadn’t spoken. “Stop and think about this. Everyone he sleeps with ends up hating him.”

“That’s not true,” said Jimmy.

“No? Name one woman you’ve banged that still talks to you.”

Time crept on, but Jimmy did not respond, and no one else came to his rescue either.

“My point exactly. You do no aftercare and it shows.” Mal turned back to David. “He doesn’t even have the common courtesy to pretend to be interested in hooking up again. Doesn’t take the phone number or anything. It’s just plain rude.”

“That’s appalling,” I said, enjoying myself immensely. It was only by the grace of god that I managed to avoid having Jimmy’s boot connect with my toes a second time. He missed, hitting one of the legs of my chair instead. I mocked him greatly with my eyes.

“And you!” Mal pointed his finger at me. “You’re always giving him shit. You can’t help yourself. You two have your little tiffs now and it’s all cute and funny and we can all laugh at you behind your backs about it. But, Davie, man. Imagine if they were actually playing hide the sausage. We’d be spending every holiday listening to them bicker and carry on at the table, making a scene. It’s just not on.”

My mouth hung open.

“Whatever happens, you two must not bump uglies. I want your word on this.” Cue more finger pointing from Mal, this time with the added benefit of waggling. “It would make life impossible for us all.”

Anne’s mom fled the table.

“When did I ever say Lena and me were getting together?” With a long groan, Jimmy looked to the heavens for help. “Someone shut him up. Shoot him or something, anything.”

Ben scratched at his head. “Lena and Jim do fight a lot.”

David and Ev just looked mildly perplexed.

“So, hang on, should I be going or staying,” I asked. “I can’t keep up.”

“Oh you can’t go,” continued Mal. “Anybody, when was the last time Jim even had a friend, outside of us, who wasn’t either using with him or supplying him, hmm?”

After a moment, David shook his head. “Honestly can’t remember.”

“Back in school, maybe,” said Ben. “That kid who played roadie for us senior year?”

“God, you’re right,” said Ev, eyes bright with some emotion. “Lena’s his only friend. We can’t let her leave.”

“She’s not my only friend.” Color rose in Jimmy’s cheeks.

“Quiet, Jimmy,” ordered Mal. “The adults are talking.”

“But I don’t know if them getting together’s a good idea either,” said Ben.

“Or maybe you and Mal should mind your own business.” David slipped an arm around Ev’s shoulders.

“What couple doesn’t fight?” asked Anne.

“But she baits him, pumpkin,” said Mal. “I’ve seen her. She thinks it’s funny to stir him up. Wonder what that says about her.” His eyes glittered with curiosity.

I sat bolt upright in my chair. “Okay. I think this conversation has gone far enough.”

“You know, there used to be this girl in second grade who would always pick on me. But every time we played catch and kiss she’d come after me with everything she had.” He turned to Anne. “It’s alright, pumpkin. I was fast, she never caught me.”

“That’s a relief.” Anne smiled.

“I might have been a bit afraid of girl germs back then. But she reminds me of Lena with Jimmy. Did I tell you how Davie found them rolling around on the floor one day?”

“That was a professional intervention,” I said.

“Jim, just out of curiosity, how many of Lena’s interventions wind up getting physical? Do you find she often comes up with excuses to handle you, so to speak?”

“I do not,” I said, voice climbing in volume.

“Look how riled up she got when I tried to find out more about her,” said Mal. “That’s why you’re thinking about quitting, isn’t it? Afraid you’re getting too attached, maybe?”

“Mal, that’s enough,” said Anne. “Leave the poor girl alone.”

Anger surged, running hot through me. One of my buttons had most definitely been pushed. I jumped to my feet, sending my chair sliding back. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Fuck’s sake.” Jimmy’s stood and reached across the table, his hand snagging my wrist. “Calm down, Lena.”

“But—”

“Calm down,” Jimmy repeated. “He’s being an idiot.”

I huffed.

“Yeah,” said Mal. “Keep your lady friend under control, Jimmy.”

“Mal.” Jimmy gave our host flinty eyes of great unhappiness. His thumb stroked soothingly against the inside of my wrist, back and forth, back and forth. I doubt he even realized he was doing it. “I’m serious. This is Thanksgiving, enough of this bullshit.” He turned back to me. “Okay?”

The fight bled right out of me. Sad to say, it only annoyed me slightly that his petting worked. “Yes.”

Mal said no more. But he did give Jimmy’s grip on me a smug sort of smile. Damn, the drummer had been playing us.

Unfortunately, the attention made Jimmy also look down at his hand. The frown on his face when he found his fingers still wrapped around my wrist was almighty. Like the digits belonged to someone else. I tore myself out of his hold, beating him to the chase, and sat back down.

So many interesting things to look at in the room. The man across from me and whatever expression he might have on his perfect face didn’t even matter. For example, Anne was busy rubbing at her temples. If my boyfriend was that insane, I would probably rub at my temples too. Meanwhile, Lizzy was busy checking her phone while their mother Jan had yet to return to the table. Ev, David, and Ben were still discussing the likelihood of Jimmy and I being a couple. Wonderful, this dinner was officially hell. No amount of pumpkin pie could compensate and it was all Jimmy’s fault for raising the topic in the first damn place.