Last to Rise(47)

“He wants me dead. How could I forget?”



She flapped a hand, as though that was inconsequential. “Anyway, we hatched a little plan with Perak. One of my girls has been whispering in his ear about the cardinals who want to turn you over to the Storad. Naturally, this would put a crimp in his plan. I, on the other hand, have dropped plenty of hints about how you can disguise yourself. And that he might want to triple-check anyone who makes it through the gate. You know, anyone who might be pretending to be a cardinal…”



I must have sat with my mouth open for a full minute.



“No problem, no need to thank me,” Erlat said with a raised eyebrow. “I even went so far as to describe your usual disguise. Which I seemed to think looked deceptively similar to the cardinal who was most vocal about handing you over to the Storad. A cardinal who, I hear, is even now on his way to the gate in a fit of terror at the Storad breaking through the gate.”



I came very close to kissing her at that point, but restrained myself. If I did that, one thing would lead to another, and before you knew it I’d have screwed things over. “That’s… that’s…”



“Clever of me, I thought.”



“Yes, but —”



“But what? You do realise other people talk to each other when you aren’t around? That you aren’t the only one doing things? One of Perak’s plans, though he left the details to me. We didn’t want to worry you. I thought I was quite creative. You owe me, mister.”



The hunch in my shoulder, the one that seemed to feel eyes watching me wherever I went, that twitched when I thought about how close Lise had come to being spirited away, relaxed a touch. That’s when weariness came back in a rush.



“I can think of a few ways you could pay, too.” A lewd wink that I tried to ignore, a short silence and then we came to it – what was really worrying her.



“Please tell me it isn’t true.”



“Which part?” I resisted the temptation to lean back and fall asleep, but only barely.



“What Allit saw. Is it – is it true, do you think? Can he see it, and does that mean it’s real? Jake’s back but I didn’t have much of a chance to talk to her yet. Is it true?”



“He saw it all right, and yes, they are coming. Jake confirmed it.”



She paled at that, and rubbed at her wrists, at the faint trace of scars where once she’d been branded – owned, made into what she was now – and it was the thought of that which caused my itch. Probably.



“Can you stop it?”



I frowned at the undertone of her voice. Erlat is, I’ve often thought, as polished as a gemstone, smooth and gleaming, no flaws, just mirrored lights that reflect you back at yourself rather than revealing anything. A gemstone, and as hard to get to know. It was misleading, and I sometimes forgot myself, or her. I forgot that she wasn’t much more than a girl, really. I forgot because she had such a poise to her you’d think she’d seen everything. Maybe she had – she’d seen far too much of what people are capable of, and yet she bore it all with a grace that was almost invisible.



“Maybe,” I said, because I didn’t like to lie to Erlat. I’d lie to anyone else, to Namrat and the Goddess themselves, but not to her. A guy’s got to have a least one crappy standard. “We’re going to try. Tonight. Give ourselves more time, and get Lise some of the raw materials she needs. Maybe.”



She got up and paced across a delicate silk rug, done in patterns that twined in her favourite green and gold. “Going to try what?”



“Erlat, can you stop? You’re making me dizzy. And I’m not really sure yet, except try to rearrange part of the machine up to the lab. That might bugger them up a bit. Nothing to worry about. Look, would you mind if we talked about something else?”



Because right then it was the last thing I wanted to talk about, or think about, because I was scared to the point of pissing myself at what I’d agreed to. Suggested. I should really learn to shut the fuck up when I thought I had a good idea.



Peace was what I wanted, a respite from the ever-present fear, a respite that I’d only ever found in two places. Here at Erlat’s, and in the black. That’s why it called to me, why I listened. Only it could give me no fear for the rest of my life, and it was tempting. Maybe that’s why I never heard the black here at Erlat’s – it had less purchase on me because I had no fear here either. Maybe.



She smiled, but it looked slick and fake and I was sure there’d be more later, more questions, more worry. I couldn’t blame her – half the city was stiff with fear. The other half just didn’t realise how bad things were. But for now I just wanted to sleep and maybe, hopefully, not dream. At least, asleep, I could pretend I wasn’t almost pissing myself wondering what I’d got myself into. But I was too jittery for sleep, and so was Erlat.