“Well, it isn’t real as far as we know. Yet. Is it?” I asked.
“No!” Pasha said, almost like he was trying to convince himself, and perhaps he was.
“Blurred, like when Allit saw me do all those different things in the ’Pit?”
Allit nodded, looking relieved as he saw what I meant.
“All right then. So let’s make sure it doesn’t happen. Any ideas? Where’s Jake now?”
Pasha shot me a relieved look. “In the tunnel – they haven’t had time to get far. We’re pretty sure that tunnel comes out near the pass. And that’s a fair way to travel.”
“Well, tell her to be extra careful when she gets to the end.”
That made him laugh, though there was a harsh edge to it. “You think she’ll listen to me? That’s what worries me. You know what she’s like – caution is for other people.”
“No, that’s what she used to be like, back when she didn’t care if she lived or died. She cares now. You made her care.” I thought back to that soft little smile of hers when she looked at Pasha, at how the two of them seemed to be growing into each other, being happy together for once in their screwed-up lives. It hurt me to watch it, but I couldn’t begrudge it to either of them.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I caught the whiff of gratitude in the offing so I cut him off.
“Right, so, Allit, you work on this as best you can. Keep practising and tell us if you find anything else. Try to concentrate on the clearer things if you can, but if you see anything blurry that might help us, tell us.”
Pasha grinned at the way I neatly sidestepped any chance of a thank you, but didn’t mention it. “And Rojan, if we’re going early tomorrow, you need to get something to eat and some sleep. I don’t want you wigging out on me. Time for dinner and bed.”
All very well for him to say – he had a nice warm bed, usually with a nice warm Jake in it. I had a lumpy sofa, and Griswald the stuffed tiger, but I nodded like I was going to do either of those things. He didn’t believe me. He knew me far too well.
“Come on, why don’t you go and see if Erlat’s got a bed free? You’re always in a better mood after you go and see her.” He laughed again, for no reason that I could see, almost like he knew something about me that I didn’t know myself.
“Maybe.” It was tempting, and he was right – I always did feel better after I saw Erlat – but I had other things to do. I should have slept, really, but my sleep was littered with things I didn’t want to revisit if I could help it. “I’ll go later. Really.”
He still didn’t believe me, but shrugged and left with Allit, whistling. That happy sound could really get on a guy’s tits.
At a loose end, with too much to think about, I wandered through to the lab, where Lise started in on me, but at a shake of my head at least she left me alone. With something like relief, she started work on her machines. Being kept in the lab by Perak for her safety didn’t seem to bother her too much; it was driving me stir-crazy.
“For the Goddess’s sake, will you stop pacing?” she said now. “It’s like being trapped with a tiger.”
I sat down with bad grace and watched her as she tinkered. “You don’t mind being cooped up, do you?”
She shrugged. “Doesn’t make a lot of difference to me. Hand me the pliers, would you? No, the long ones. I’d rather be cooped up here than dragged off to the Mishans, wouldn’t you?” She looked up over the tangle of wires she was working on. “No, I don’t suppose you would. Safest place to be is here.”
While it was good to know she was safe, or as safe as anyone could be, it didn’t stop my legs from jiggling, or me from feeling I should be out there, doing… well, something.
“Allit and some of the others have started on the smaller generators,” she said. “Halina is pretty good – I think she can start on this machine tomorrow. It’s not for long, Rojan. I’ve got a new machine too. I think it might even stop the Storad.”
That perked me up. “Explain it to me. Simply.”
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. I think she loved the fact she could lord it over her older brother in the technical department. “Wait till tomorrow. I’m still getting the finishing touches done. But I think you’re going to love it. In the meantime…” What was it with everyone looking at me like that? Like I was a bomb waiting to go off? “You need to start looking after yourself. Please. If for no other reason than you’ll be useless otherwise.”