Last Vampire 6(8)

"But when I changed, it seemed that I entered a spaceship from another world. But it wasn't a space­ship. I don't think anyone could see it but me, in my changed condition. There were beings aboard. Beings like demons, and I entered the mind of one. At least I think I did. But as time goes by, I begin to doubt that any of this happened, that I didn't just dream it all. Does that make sense?"



Paula nods. "That is why I can't describe what is to come next. It would just be a dream to us, the way we are now."



"But were these beings from a negative harvest?"



She touches my knee." Sita. You want to under­stand everything with your head. You ask me to describe what you call my visions with words. But neither thing is possible. Even your brilliant mind cannot reach beyond concepts. Even your vampire eyes cannot see beyond this world. I don't know who they were, these friends of Ory. I don't know who this Heidi was. I only know that she did not lie to you when she said she met you long ago." Paula pauses and she raises her eyes to the water, to Lake Tahoe beyond the sheltered bay. "And that it was long ago things went wrong."



"Went wrong? For whom?"



"Forallofus."



"I don't understand," I complain.



"Did Suzama ever just explain things to you?"



"Sometimes."



"No. She would take a lesson only so far because she was not omniscient. She saw a portion of the mind of God, but no mortal can see all of it. Suzama was not infallible."



"Is John?"



The boy sleeps soundly. Paula speaks with love. "John's a baby."



"But who was he in the past?"



Paula pauses. "I don't know."



"Suzama said this child would be the same as the others: Jesus; Shankara, Krishna. She wrote that—Isaw her words with my own eyes."



"Then why are you asking me?"



"To know if it's true."



"Ah. That is the question, isn't it? What is true? But didn't Suzama also write that faith is stronger than stone?"



"But I ask you these things so I will know what to have faith in."



"Have faith in yourself, Sita. These strangers have come for you for a purpose. It does not sound as if they have the welfare of mankind at heart. You must seek them out, learn what they want and how they hope to accomplish it."



"You have seen this in a vision?"



Paula turns her head away. "I have seen too many things."



I have to wonder if she has seen my death.



"You can tell me," I say carefully.



"No."



"I am not afraid to hear what is to be."



Paula lowers her head. A tear runs over her cheek.



"I am afraid," she whispers.



"Suzama,"I say, and stop myself. But Paula is already looking at me and shaking her head.



"I didn't call you as I promised I would after I fled from Kalika,"she says. "Do you know why?"



"I meant to ask you. I assume you had a vision that it would be better to keep your distance. At least for a time."



"No. I didn't talk to you because I began to understand your destiny—destiny itself. It can only be lived, it cannot be explained. It is like a mystery, which ceases to exist the moment you explain it. The same with a magic trick. When you are told how it works, it loses all its charm."



"What you're saying is that you'll tell me no more of what you've seen?"



"I have seen no more, and for that I am glad."



"You look more sad than happy."



Paula smiles sadly. "Because I know you'll be going away soon."



I thought the same thing. I am anxious to return to Los Angeles to trace Heidi's background. "But I will keep in touch," I say. "I will see you soon."



Paula doesn't say anything more. She glances at the vase containing Kalika's ashes.



"Why did you bring that here?" she asks.



"To put the ashes in the water."



She nods. "It is time to move on."



Sorrow washes over me. "I still think of her all the time."



"She lived the life she was born to live." She pauses. "I never told you what she said to me when she burst into my house and grabbed hold of John. She said,' Hello, Paula. I have no friends but I am a friend of your son's. Tonight everything will come together in a wave of blood. But don't worry, he is stronger than this night.'"



Now I am close to tears. "Her life was so short."



Paula comforts me, rubs my arm. "She couldn't stay too long. She was a star that burned too bright. The strength of her soul would have made us all go blind." Paula gestures to the vase and stands, John still asleep in her arms. "Say your goodbyes. I will wait for you at the house."