I strive to calm him. "It was him, I swear it. I put the Spear ofLo nginus through his evil heart. He died like any other man."
Dante is smiling. "Did you burn his body? Did the smoke stink?"
I shake my head. "No. I didn't burn him. There wasn't time."
His smile falters slightly. "But what did you do with his body, my lady?"
I shrug. "Nothing. I left it. Don't worry, he will not return to haunt us. I am sure of it."
Dante seems reassured. "Then we can go to Messina now and tell everyone that the world is safe?"
I force a laugh. "Yes. We can tell everyone that there is nothing left to worry about." But my laughter soon dies because that is not the way I feel. I add softly, "We will tell the whole world."
Dante is uncertain. "Is something wrong, mylady?"
I turn away. "No. I am just worried about you. You need to eat, to rest and regain your strength."
He stands and steps to my back. "Something weighs on your heart. Share it with me, my lady. Perhaps Ic an lighten your burden."
My eyes are suddenly damp. I am ashamed to look at his face.
But I feel I can tell him. He will understand. "When I found Lord Landulf," I say, "he was in the stone circle as you said he would be. But I did not do what you suggested. I did not wait for him to leave the circle to attack him. I was too impatient. He was simply sitting thereIthought I could just kill him and then it would be all over with."
Dante speaks sympathetically. "But you could not penetrate the circle."
My hands clasp each other uneasily. I cannot stop moving them. "Yes. There was an invisible shield around it. Landulf had created it, I believe, by employing a sacrifice that required him to cut out the heart of his own wife."
Dante gasps. "Lady Cia!"
"Yes. She was dead when I arrived. But there was a young woman chained nearby who was very much alive.L andulf told me if I wanted to get to him, I would have to rip out the girl's heart. At first I refused, but then this pounding started in my head, and it wouldn't stop, and I didn't know what to do. In a moment of pain and anger I reached for her... " I have trouble finishing. "I reached for her andII killed her, Dante. I killed her with my own hands, andshe had never done anything to me."
Dante is silent for a long time. Finally I feel hisgood hand touch my shoulder. "You did what you had to do, my lady."
I clasp his hand but shake my head. "I don't know.Sometimes I think I just did what I have always done in the pastkill. That has always been my ultimate solution to every problem." I gesture weakly. "But this girlshe was praying for me to save her."
"But you saved the rest of us."
I am emotional. "Did I? Did I do what I wassupposed to do? If I did then can you explain tomewhy the stain of this girl's blood refuses to wash offmy hand?"
Dante grabs my left hand and stares at it anxiously. "Perhaps we only need to wash it in clean water.Come, my lady, a quick wash in the pond andeverything will be all right."
I take back my hand. "No, Dante. I have triedwashing it a dozen times. The stain will not come off."
He is confused. "But why?"
I lower my head. "I think it is because I listened to Landulf, in the end."
"No!"
"Yes. I performed the ritual murder of an innocent. That's all that was needed to be initiated by him." I pause and stare at my left hand. There is only the stars for light, but I see the stain well. It is almost as if I see my whole life expressed in the red of the mark. "I have become one of them," I whisper.
Dante is adamant. "No! You are the opposite ofthem! You are an angel! You bring light where there isdarkness! Hope where there is despair! A dozen timesyouhave come to my rescue! A dozen times I wouldhavedied without your courage!"
I turn and force a smile. "Oh, Dante. I had to keepsavingyou because I kept putting you in danger." Iraisemy hand as he tries to protest. "Please don't lookuponme as an angel. When you get to heaven, you'llseereal angels and they'll look nothing like me."
He pauses and seems to think hard for a moment,but his eyes never leave my face. "You have too muchlovein you to be hated by God," he says finally,"When we get to heaven, you'll see that."
I have to laugh and hug him again. "My friend!Whatwould I do without you? No, wait, don't answerthatquestion. There is something I want to do foryou. Something I have been planning to do for the lastfewdays. But before I do it I want you to know that itisentirely safe. That no harm will come to your bodyorsoul by the change I am going to bring."