Could he be losing his nerve?
He wished he could see Ferus again. His partnership with Ferus grounded him. Ferus was playing a dangerous game now, and for the first time Roan truly feared for the future.
He walked with Dona through the familiar streets of his old neighborhood. They had been to three diners already, searching for something to eat. Supplies were low. There was water flavored with the annisa herb from the mountains. But there was no tea. There was root paste but no fruit. Finally they found a kind Ussan who had set up a stand near the park with dried fruit and flatbread. She was almost sold out but gave them the last of what she had.
Dona looked somber as they ate their meager meal. “When people get hungry, resistance can fade,” she said.
“With winter coming, how long can the Ussans hold out?” Roan wondered aloud. “If they agree to recognize the governor and obey the laws of the Empire, the Imperial army will lift the blockade.”
“Soon mothers will see their children crying,” Dona said. “Do we really want to sacrifice our children?”
The Empire had strangled the port, strictly regulating what came in and out. It had closed the theatres and museums and entertainment complexes that had given the city such vibrant life. It had filled the green parks with its black garrisons. It had taken away all the things that made life worth living. Except life itself.
Dona brushed the crumbs from the rough linen tunic she wore. “I’m not going back to the mountains,” she told Roan.
He was surprised, but he didn’t show it. For Dona, the mountains were sacred, the only place she felt at home. “Why?” he asked.
“I’m staying here to help the Eleven,” Dona said. “Not by offering sanctuary now and again, or a guide if they need one. But real help.”
“You do help,” he said. “You’re our contact in the mountain area, and that’s become more important than ever.”
Dona turned to him impatiently. “You have other agents in the mountains, good ones, and you know it. I’m an old woman, is that it? You think I can’t be helpful?”
Roan laughed. “I don’t think of you as an old woman, Dona. I know you’ll be helpful. I just … “
“Want to protect me?”
“Yes,” he admitted.
“Well, you’ve done enough. You and Ferus. I owe you both my life, and I owe my homeworld. Here’s the thing you might not realize: No one looks at an old woman. I can do more for you than you know.”
“All right,” Roan said. “We’re honored that you’ll stay.”
She inclined her head.
He put a hand on her shoulder. “I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You and me, we’re too tough for them to catch,” Dona said with a smile.
Truth be told, he was glad. Dona was a link to Ferus. Before the Clone Wars, they had visited her in the mountains and stayed in her cabin. It was among their happiest times.
Roan had grown up in Ussa in a large extended family. He was used to noise and movement and laughter. His parents still lived in Ussa, but he rarely saw them, afraid he would endanger them. Two of his brothers had emigrated to other planets, and his sister had been killed in the Clone Wars, but his relatives - cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents - were still sprinkled around the city. He could walk down any street in Ussa and it would spark a memory, usually something that would make him smile.
“I saw Ferus on the HoloNet last night,” Dona said. “He is acting the part of the traitor very well. Too well.”
“Do you think he’s gone over to the Empire. Roan asked. He didn’t think he could bear it if Dona thought that.
“No of course not. But I’m worried that whatever good he thinks he will do will be canceled out by the bad. He was a symbol of hope to the people of Ussa. He escaped from two Imperial prisons. He got away. Now it appears that he’s bowed down to power. It looks like he’s given up, so why shouldn’t they?”
“Come on, let’s walk.” Roan stood. It wasn’t safe to linger too long anywhere now. “You may be right. And if I know Ferus, he’s thinking the same thing. There has to be a reason that he’s remaining.”
“You’re probably right.”
“I wish I could talk to him.”
“The people of Ussa are ready to give in,” Dona said. “Even in our short time here, I’ve heard the rumblings. If the Empire takes over the factories and builds more, there will be plenty of new jobs. People want to feed their families.”
“That’s what they’re counting on.”
“Yes, well, you can’t eat integrity. Only bread.”