He looked all worried, but when I finally sat back up I said, “I am fine, you fucking tattle-tale, just take me home, you insufferable prick!” I was being a bitch, but this fuck was just like my brothers, he laughed it off and called me names, “Ruffian, you need to calm down that can’t be good for the baby, all that shit that you spew out of your mouth.” He said all calmly like he didn’t just point out I am pregnant, which I didn’t tell him about. I just found out earlier when the girls made me take a test, after puking my guts out.
“Are you going to tell that little detail to David too, ass?” I growled.
“No you little brat. I will give you time to tell him, but it won’t be long when he finds out you are fucking sick. I am just trying to help your stubborn ass. Wait here.” He ran back to his truck and was back fast as fuck. “Here drink this.” He handed me open bottle of water.
”You didn’t leave any backwash in here did you.”
“No you little shit. Just drink and let’s get you home before you husband tears me a new one.” Goren shook his head. This was our daily fight because I knew it was his job to rat me out, but I enjoyed busting his balls anyway. It was fun, it was like I was dealing with an urban Ben.
When I got in the house I turned back to him, “You know Goren, snitch get stitches.”
“Yeah well, “Little witches get switches.” He straightened up properly and said, per his usual before he checked the gates, “Good day, Mrs. Montgomery.” I shook my head and waved. Now to deal with the husband and his daily fucking nuttiness.
David arrived two hours later after I cooked a dinner that I could actually stand to smell. Lately the smell of garlic had me ready to fucking vomit. It sucked because both David and I were garlic lovers. I would only try dishes that didn’t have it in them. It was rough, but it was a must if we were able to make it through dinner peacefully.
“Hey baby, I’m home.” I heard him say from the front hall.
“Hi handsome we are having roasted rosemary chicken with mashed potatoes and sweetened carrots. So you will eat it and like it.”
“Sure babe, sounded like what you said to me last night. Is that on the menu too?” Damn the man was a horn dog. “You are such a hungry perv, I don’t know how you lasted so long without getting any. I think your ass lied to me.” I shook my head at him and finished the carrots.
It was when he came up to me and kissed me sweetly and with all seriousness said, “That is because they weren’t you. With you I want everything, I want to kiss, suck, lick, fuck and that is just the beginning of what you make me want.” He was all over me until he kissed me. I pushed him away as fast as I could and was in the bathroom, retching hard. He was in the room right behind me.
“David do me a favor and go fucking brush your teeth, scrub your tongue and face, right fucking now.”
“Damn, babe, I didn’t know kissing me was that revolting.” He smelled his breath and if I wasn’t pregnant with his child I wouldn’t mind.
“It isn’t that, the smell of garlic makes me fucking hurl.” This wasn’t the most romantic way of tell him, but feeling like death was fucking romantic either.
“Damn Goren told me you were not feeling well, only because you were tired.”
“Well your gorilla is a nosy busybody. I think we need to find him a girl.” He closed his eyes and laughed, “You think everyone needs someone, but it’s his job to look after you and report back to me. Do you want me to call a doctor?”
“No we have an appointment tomorrow. Unless you don’t want to come then I guess I will take Goren with me.”
“Of course I will be there. You think it’s serious? If it is let’s just go to the ER now.” He helped me up and I washed my face and couldn’t stop cracking up.
“David, it is serious, but I will be good soon.” He looked like he was stuck on stupid. Men sometimes, I shook my her head and said shakily, “David I am pregnant. Wasn’t it your goal to knock my ass up? Congrats. Mission complete.”
Before he could start to panic, which was creeping into his eyes, I said, “Feed me David, I’m hungry and dinner’s done.” He scooped me up in his arms.
“David I can walk!” I called out as rolled my eyes at him.
“But you don’t need to, in fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. I will call in a service to clean and cook. You just need to rest.” Really, men.
“David, I am not that fragile. Fuck, I am not letting other women in my kitchen, so enough with that shit. My mama taught me to cook for a reason, to take care of my man and our children. Now just relax, feed me and fuck me. Because I love and need you!” I was kissed and carried to the counter where he proceeded to eat without me, well I wouldn’t say without me, more like he just ate me. After he fucked me hard on the counter, he sat me down and served me the food he had to warm up. “I love you Evie. Thank you baby.” He kissed my belly and I felt completely loved and fucking starving.